Children in tears

Cheeniya · Jul 5, 2007

Dear Malathi
That incident of the boy you have narrated brings into sharp focus on the need to be restrained in our reactions to our children. More importantly, the parents often behave very irresponsibly in front of their children and if the children imbibe that behaviour, the parents feel mad.
We tend to forget that notwithstanding the gene facor, a child's behaviour is conditioed by what it observes. That's why, we lay so much importance on a good and clean living environment and if that cant be provided to them by our own examples, there is no use in blaming the kids.
A red hot iron may smoothen the wrinkles of a piece of garment but not the rough behaviour of a child. They need to be talked to regularly but since we neither have the time or patience for it, we resort to the easier method of punishing them.
Sri

Cheeniya · Jul 5, 2007

Dear TDU
That example of a slum boy wanting to become a Karim Lala is so very universal. These children observe 'dadaism' everyday and in course of time, dadas become a role model for them. It is no wonder that they want to be one as they grow up.
Every child develops an aspiration on the basis of who wields the greatest influence in his community and that becomes a bench mark for them. This can be seen in every motor mechanic's shop! The way the new recuits get beaten with spanners and screwdrivers, you would wonder why they are there at all!
Sri

Abha · Jul 5, 2007

Hey Cheeniya Sir...

First of all, thanks for the sweet compliment "The way you have expressed yourself as a mother-to-be, I wouldn't mind being born as your child! ".

I'm on the same page as you and i completely understood in the first place that the thread is about the plight of the underpriviliged children... and obviously every parent knows whats rite and wrong for their child. when it comes to an expensive toy or a tight slap, thats totally their discretion (everyone knows deep down the consequences of both). And thats exactly not what we are talking about here.

We are discussing how we feel, when we see small children doing labour work in construction sites, or small children selling flowers or even begging, sometimes... or searching the garbage dumps for things to eat . These are the things that make me sad or make my eyes wet...

All we can do is to donate to charities for homeless or, better make food ourselves or get food packets and go and feed those children outside temples or anywhere you want...

~Abha

cheeniya said: ↑

Dear Abha
Thank you for sharing my feelings about suffering children and nominating my Post for July.
In fact, when a cople of FBs here mentioned about how children could see their way through with crying, I was a bit puzzled and also got annoyed with myself for not making my position clear. I agree that children do use crying as a weapon but there is a lot of difference between a child crying in hunger for food and a child crying for an expensive toy. We can not equate them. I was trying to focus my thread on the plight of the former but somehow it got dragged on to a different aspect of a juvenile behaviour!
The way you have expressed yourself as a mother-to-be, I wouldn't mind being born as your child!
Sri
Click to expand...

Cheeniya · Jul 6, 2007

Dear Abha
It will be extremely difficult to alleviate the sufferings of street children single-handedly. We may give food to a couple of children on a daily basis to ease our conscience but it will hardly solve the problem. The organised sector for helping out children may not act the way we want. The answer could be that a few charity minded individuals can join together and find out ways and means of helping out the children in a bigger way.
A lady in Mumbai collects left overs from weddings and parties of affluent people on a daily basis and distribute these collections to orphanages. She has pressed into service four vans for this purpose.
Sri

Abha · Jul 7, 2007

Ya i understand, that one peerson doing this bit, mite not help much... but what i wanted to say is that... if everyone thinks that it is their responsibility then everyone is feeding a few underpriviliged around them... and world wud be a better place. Everyone has to think this way...

This lady you have written about must be really nice, i mean thats a great effort towards the cause.

sathya · Jul 7, 2007

hello

ainthu vayathu
kuzhanthaigalai
pallikku konduvittal
paravayillai athu
avargalin nall ethirkaalathirku
ingu konduvidugiraargal
aya
pinju ullangalai
kadalil thavikkum
siru thonigalaai
ellorum ias padikkavendum enru
asai petrorukku
avargal thiruppi paarpathillai
thangalin mark sheetugalai...
elloruma 100 mark vaangamudiyum
AVAN ukke 100 mark kodukkamattome..!
vegamaga odum ulagil
piranthavudan pallikku chellum
kuzhandaigal
amma enru solvatharkumun
a for apple sollum
mottugal..
murkaalathil
vegu thooram illai..?

sathya

Cheeniya · Jul 8, 2007

Dear Satya
Education being the only effective weapon that a growing man has to fight his way to the top, a child has to be sent to school the moment it learns to walk. This is true of even the children of Ambanis and Premjis!
Our concern is more about the children who will never get a chance to get educated like the Nari Koravas and rag pickers.
Sri

gayathriar · Jul 11, 2007

We all know that two thirds of the world population is either under-fed or starved. But reading about them doesn't affect us much until we have a first hand exposure. Sri Sir, if the incident broke your heart, so did reading your account of it break mine. How terrible the child's situation is to take a beating from its own mom for claiming to be hungry. Giving the mom money and not attending the rotary club meeting brings out how humane you are.

I completely believe that the 'suffering of innocent children is thrust on them. Unlike the adults, they have no means to cope with their sufferings and so endure them in silence'. That's what make us sympathise more with their sufferings. In a recent survey, when kids who were exposed to civil war in the African countries were presented with a paper and crayon, their drawings contained guns and portrayed fear, very much unlike normal kids who drew homes and rainbows. Life hasn't hardened me up much yet and I still feel sorry for the stray dogs pelted with stones, goats waiting to be butchered, accident victims( that could even be a cat or a squirrel ). But above all these, exposure to the suffering of the children affects me most. When we were kids, me and my brother used to feel embarassed and avoided going to an ice-cream parlour that employed children as cleaners, thinking of which makes me feel proud now. This makes me feel how fortunate we are to have the kind of life we have where a basic necessity like food is our least worry. I hope it becomes the same for everybody. Blessed will be the lady who gathers food wasted and distributes them to orphanages. And I feel very hopeful when great minds like that of Bill Gates is working overtime on philanthropic efforts to improve lives of the poor.

On a lighter note, the opening paragraph made me think that you had taken your grand-daughter to the doctor!!! As a child, I used to detest going to school and even now I have the monday blues. So, I can relate to the analogy of the first day of school with that of the doctor's place. However, my stint with agony over child's injection was a very short lived one. Only when my kid was a newborn and the nurse was squeezing his heel to draw blood, I felt the agony. Nowadays, I am the one that holds him tight when he is administered with vaccines. I hope you don't imagine me as Gayathri with 2 horns....

This is an excellent write-up with a heart breaking incident interlaced with humour so typical of you. It is really hard for me to believe that it takes you a lot of effort to lace it with humour. As for P.G. Wodehouse toiling to make every scene humourous, I have read the same about Kalki - it seems that he was an extremely serious humourous writer. Inspired by your post and Abha's action, I have nominated this post as the finest for the month of July, though I am pretty much sure that you will out-do yourself very soon.

-Gayathri.

Kamla · Jul 11, 2007

Dear Cheeniya,

Everytime I read your articles, you move me without fail. I am either laughing...let me correct that...I am mostly laughing or thrown into a deep thought. This one touched my heart...where it hurts most. True, children are God, personification of innocence. Kuzhandhaiyum Deivamum gunathal ondru....That is why it is even more hurtful to see them ill treated. Like so many here, I too can count many incidents where child labor, orphanages and suffering children have left me feeling violated and miserable. The recent pictures of orphanages in Iraq made me go limp.....
No end to the misery. Helplessness is all I feel.
You sure have your outlet, you wrote your pain, shared and thus halved it.
Nice one.

L, Kamla

Cheeniya · Jul 11, 2007

Dear Gayathri
In a recent survey, when kids who were exposed to civil war in the African countries were presented with a paper and crayon, their drawings contained guns and portrayed fear, very much unlike normal kids who drew homes and rainbows.
That statement hit me like a bullet. This scenario is worse than the photographs of the Ethiopian kids affected by drought that we have seen in the newspapers. Are we becoming slowly insensitive to the plight of these children that we dont give it anything beyond a passing glance? I was talking about men getting into a muddle as something of their own making but here you have depicted a scenario where grown up men inflict pain and misery on children for their own gains. I just cant understand any of the wars that are being fought anywhere in the world.
I have a couple of chat friends from Israel who keep telling me about the kind of fear they live in. They tell me that even a daily visit to the market could be the last voyage for them. I just couldn't help thinking about my peaceful shopping in Thannithurai Market in Mylapore though mine too could be a last voyage considering the number of road accidents but the thought of being rained with bullets scares me out of my wits! The irony is that more children get killed or maimed by these wars as they dont understand the wars and take to streets to watch the fun.
Now that you have adequately explained your position about your visit to a Doctor and in view of your compassion for the hapless children, I would take you as Gayathri with just one horn!
And the nice things that you have said about my posts and me as a human being have touched my heart. At this moment, I pray for nothing more than my present ability to communicate being kept status quo by the Almighty!
Sri