child sexual abusement

Prema, I worked fulltime as a journalist who wrote extensively about children, health and crime. So what I am writing here comes from meeting the survivors of CSA, talking to abusers and to Law officials. Fathers abusing daughters (a scientist no less, not the illiterate, alcoholid lot), younger child abusing an older disabled child, woman abusing an older teenaged girl... all have happened. Malspie, you hit the nail on the head. Stranger Danger is a very serious thing alright, but nearly 85 percent of those abused say it's a relative/family friend who have access to you frequently.

Dear OP, amazing thread. Thanks a ton

 

A very informative post

Mals.. Thats very saddening and at the same time very frustrating, that people who we trust do something stupid like this. I hope he rots in hell even though he might be the best person otherwise. I can never tolerate people doing such things to innocent kids.

Every parent has a responsibility. The school or the society will not help you out like in other countries. I guess they need to sit and teach them the NO-NOs.

Please read through this:

http://wcd.nic.in/childabuse.pdf

Very informative and also explains very clearly.

Also, I need to disagree that there is no law for this stupid act.

Actually there is. Unlike many countries, laws in India does not distinguish child sexual abuse from rape. Indeed, the laws against child sexual abuse are in their developing stage (Raman, 1995). Not sure if its in place now.

Some parts of the law, however, are applicable to sexual abuse of a
child: sale, hire, distribution, or circulation of obscene objects of literature to children (293); obscene acts or utterances in public places (294); causing grievous hurt (325); unnatural offense (377); cheating (417); indecent behavior (509); and intent to rape (511).

So I guess people should be aware of this and make sure they use it to the fullest.

Also, like many other countries, India signed for Convention on the Rights of the Child somewhere in 1992. Thus, any current government should take action when called up for.

 

Nandha, a very wellinformed post.
The ground reality is that many police officials (thankfully not all) end up booking the offender under greivous hurt if there has not been rape i.e. penile penetration. Those supporting retaining Sec 377 say it should be used more often to book CSA, especially since the punishment are more severe than other laws. It is a good idea to know what the legal system has in provision. :thumbsup great idea.

 

hi padmatvt,
thanks for the thread, it is very very informative, everyday i keep telling my son about inappropriate touching etc, i do tell him when i give him bath, when he is the bathroom.
now that my son has started kindergarten in a public school i'm more worried about all this. so whenever i get a chance i try to educate him.
this is a necessity to discuss especially when you are in a country like US.
thanks,
radha

 

Hi Padma,
Very informative and timely thread. Thanks for posting.
When my toddler grow up I have to educate and teach her.

Malspie,
Kudos to you. You are very very bold enough to come out.

 

Padmatvt - Thanks a lot for starting this thread & sharing the information about the most hidious act of mankind.

Pinki Virani has written a book "Bitter Chocolate" on this issue. It's a must-have must-read book & really gives you an insight of how things are preceived in Indian soicety with this regard. It really gives you a shiver as you go thru the pages & read about the incidents.

Most of the time, people aren't honest enough to accept that it happened to them. Hats off the Mals! Often we think, if we don't talk about it, maybe it'll go away. But if we do share it with someone, we aren't sure how they will preceive it. But how do you being to open up?

We, the present generation, are more aware & will enable our children to be honest & open with us.

 

I have been a victim of a child sexual abuse when i was around 5-6 years old. At that time i could not tell this to anybody because i was living with my grandmother & grandaunt.I did not know how to tell them & what.I could not tell my mother because she does not have that bonding with me plus she was very friendly with this guy who was our neighbour in Trichur,Kerala.But now,though he is not staying there anymore,i can weed him out if i want to through my contacts.........
I have been thinking about it because this incident has left me scarred very badly.

 

GV, virtual hugs from all of us here. One way to heal is to get some professional help and move on. I have seen people in close quarters who have gone through abuse in their childhood and survive it to become a strong person. I hope you get the help you need to come out of your trauma.

 

I too have had a similiar experience from my neighbor when i must have been 7 years. He FORCIBLY lied on top of me n jerked off between my legs. I knew that it was not a normal thing.After that i avoided that guy like a plague. I remember his name,Balakrishnan,a medical representative in Trichur dist,Kerala in 1975.

 

Hey,thanks dear for your concern. I have moved on but every time i hear an incident like that ,it enrages me to no end & i really wish iam the one to cut off the abuser`s ....!