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Child:Is it required?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Gooseberry, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. Gooseberry

    Gooseberry Senior IL'ite

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    Are Children really required in a marriage? Please discuss.

    I have 2 and sometimes I think children make a marriage lively and full but some other times I see them as a huge burden in the form of responsibility in any marriage. So, I do not have any clear rock solid opinion on this though I am very happy and sometimes proud of my own kids.
     
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  2. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    No, of course they are not required! :rotfl

    In fact, nobody has to do anything they don't want to! Some people never get married, and that's fine! Some people never have kids, and that's fine too. It all depends on what you want. You should have kids because you WANT them, not because you're the right age, or just because you're married, or because society expects a spouse, two kids, white picket fence and golden retriever running around the yard. In fact I have seen some horrible parents (my mil comes to mind) and I feel that these type should in fact NEVER have had kids no matter whether they wanted them or not!

    My sil can't have kids (she's almost 40 with fertility problems) and my dh's cousin is 36 this year, widowed (husband committed suicide) and all she wants to do is party and not get married (so I'm assuming no kids). But both of them seem to be fine with the way their lives are going.
     
  3. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    Too much of romancing is a boredom. Come on....the couple needs a BREAK! Children give that....give you the toughest test of love!
     
  4. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Gooseberry was prolly reeling from that tough test when she posted this :)
    I am sure we all gave enough tough tests/exams to our parents - LOL!
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2010
  5. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Ofcourse they are not required. They are just optional LOL

    We don't have any and we are still not sure if we want one anytime soon, if not ever.

    Too much responsibility to be signing up for and problem is, you cannot return them for a refund :rotfl
     
  6. Gooseberry

    Gooseberry Senior IL'ite

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    Mals, I like your sense of humor.

    Yes, Spiderman you are correct. What happened this morning made me come up with this question.

    I was so mad at my kids this morning. They know they have to get ready for school but every 5 mins I have to hunt them down from some corner, chatting away about the previous day school event or some friend or whatever. My husband gets mad at me if they are not ready by the time he is out of shower. He drops them off at school before he leaves for work and these 2 kiddos seem to have no care!

    Anyway, now I feel light after being here for some time. Thanks!
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2010
  7. grihasta

    grihasta New IL'ite

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    Many people prefer to not have kids and enjoy life to the fullest, and there is nothing wrong with it. A child does bring a joy so beautiful to the parents that it can't be expressed properly. However, it is also true that once you have children, your life sort of revolves around the kids. You can't just decide to go out on whim, or travel someplace on a moment's notice etc that one can do as a couple without kids. We sometimes miss that too. Plus when you have to move to different places for work etc, you need to factor in the kids , and their education needs etc. Kids play a central role in most decisions, and our own needs become secondary sometimes.

    To each his own! Sometimes, I feel it is good to behave like westerners and kick the kids out of home once they turn 18, so we can enjoy life again :)
     
  8. Gooseberry

    Gooseberry Senior IL'ite

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    Grihasta, and also the excitement when your child is in any school play or when your child wins something...all that is inexpressible!!
    Only a parent knows how it feels....JMO!............:clap

    But, only a parent knows how it feels when the same apple of your eye talks back to you or shrugs off his shoulders carelessly especially when your friends are around....:rant
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2010
  9. Gooseberry

    Gooseberry Senior IL'ite

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    ASG, :rotfl:rotfl:rotfl

    That was my dream before marriage......though I was scared of dogs!
     
  10. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    I do feel children are big responsibility , but they add lot of value to life, I do believe one cannot stay as one was 10 years back as of today, and one would not be as one is today 10 years hence, all the enjoyment and all is fine, even with kids one enjoys life which otherwise we cannot have enjoyed doing kids things

    They make us relive our life, we start enjoying things as kids and also feel happy when we see them enjoying. Kids are defnitely a stress factor but one cannot call them burden because one has to look after them and care for them..

    Kids are source of inspiration, when they do well in schools, play good in sports, it makes parents feel good, parents get a sense of purpose in life to bring kids up and to make them better citizen, in old age, parents might see them even though not for support but someone whom they can call and talk and rely on in times of need

    The whole phenomenon of generations is the outcome of that. Kids are the best thing in life at least for me
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2010

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