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Child Care At Home With Covid And Office Work

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by sanjuruby3, Jul 15, 2020.

  1. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Gold IL'ite

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    I have 2 kids at home - 1 yr old and 5 yr and we both are working. Life is so hard right now. My H has meetings whole day so no help from him. I take care of both of them + can not pay attention to my work and meetings/discussions etc at all. It is understandable to be slow at work but it is getting very hard.
    Then cooking , feeding them and dishes etc.. I feel like machine right now.
    My H wants to be bring cleaners at home and always fuss about clean. I am not worried about that yet.
    Then nanny. He himself does nothing but on my case, to talk to nanny (desi)...All are worried and no one probably wants to go to someone's house. Then he keeps threatening me, we will get someone from care.com...
    My older one does not eat or do anything by herself.
    Then younger one is still baby so has to be fed, diapered, cleaned, changed, etc too..carry him here to there.. He does not want to stay inside and wants to go out all the time.
    How are you managing? Any external help?

    I am thinking to start freezing meals etc. But problem with my older one is picky and younger one too. Also I feel pain cooking bulk at one time and my weekends, i get super tired because brain does not get any rest.
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    My baby has been going back to daycare on the days I have to work, since early May. We kept her at home from mid-March for about 7 weeks before restarting. It’s a home daycare and they are very strict about cleaning and wearing masks for the providers. It’s much better for the kids to have some structure and socialize with their peers, we felt.
    Many people we know have done the same and have also brought back their cleaners and nannies. My state is doing somewhat okay with the Covid situation though. If I were in Texas or Florida right now I might think differently.
     
  3. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Gold IL'ite

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    Aah thanks for replying. That was relief. My previous nanny is not ready to come. So I will have to look for new one. This is the hard part for me. I do not want american nanny as I had bad experience.
    Daycare I do not prefer right now, not because of covid, but for other help I get with indian nanny. I have older one too who is very needy, and other household chores, i feel myself less stressed with desi nanny who can help with cooking. Also I have meetings at odd times and my H is not of much help with his work schedule.
    I know this is not the time for pick and choose.
    I do not know how my friend in same situation as me, is managing with 2 kids at home and work and from the beginning on ( when no covid was there).
     
  4. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    Situations are similar with the families with smaller kids. It is hard to work from home and take care of two kids. See if you can take a break from the work, due to covid there is an additional sick leave which you can use for caring for kids upto 80 hours. See below. I believe this is applicable to all employers.
    Families First Coronavirus Response Act: Employee Paid Leave Rights | U.S. Department of Labor
    Check with HR. it might not be full pay but i think you could get upto 2/3 of your pay. So if you couldnt find anyone, take a break from work and concentrate on family. Firmly ask help from husband. if he also has the leave, make use of it. As far as I know, it is only for the year of 2020. At least for the sake of sanity, take a few days off. It will give you some energy!!
     
  5. nuss

    nuss Finest Post Winner

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    We started sending our kids (7 and 5) to preschool/summer camp (whatever you call it) after first grade online classes were over (2nd week of June). We managed work/childcare to some extent from Mid-March till mid-June. Our cleaning lady has been coming all through the pandemic. She cleans only two houses: ours and our friends. She doesn't work at other places so we know it's relatively safe. She also works when we aren't at home or we go for a hike, etc. to avoid the interaction.
    Our city doesn't have too many cases so we are okay with this setup.
     
  6. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Finest Post Winner

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    Sailing in the same boat. No suggestions sorry.
    We haven't had the cleaners come in from Mar. I have Roomba that helps a bit.
    My husband is busy all day- he cooks his breakfast and I am able to cook dinner.
    The house really is in need of cleaner level cleaning.
    My kid really needs to socialize.
    When the lockdown started we engaged my kid in writing/ asking him to draw and to do other activities. We involved with him as well.
    Now it's getting really hard to do it. We got him an iPad couple of months ago. He has completely stopped writing/ reading/ drawing.
    He is on ipad all day and then we garden a bit clean the house and cook dinner and sleep.
    I don't really have to worry about him eating, he is a good eater. I am extremely concerned about the amount of screen time he has been getting. I am one of those moms who never gave him screen time during the pre-pandemic. Now I am too tired to do anything with him and I have my deadlines to catch up with.
    Weekends we try to make things special for him. It's completely his day, one weekend he wanted to camp in our backyard we did that, we take him on small hikes, morning walks/ bike ride. Kids are so bored of being at home.

    WhatsApp Image 2020-07-15 at 1.51.09 PM.jpeg
     
    Rihana and Angela123 like this.
  7. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Gold IL'ite

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    oh my god...so me.

    I was stranded in india for 4 months and all my older one did was watching ipads or phone because of sorroundings. All my younger one did was eating from floor, watching phone ( 1 yr old). They ate were chips, maggi,.. soda...everyday.I came back with feeling that i will help her catching with studies a bit, outside and eat them healthy.
    My work suffered a lot... to really bad extent with pressure, slow internet everything.

    Now I am back, i am not in better situation...may be better mentally in another way. Meanwhile I discuss with my friends, who have set up routine for kids, outdoor for this many hours, study for this and tv for this, I am not able to follow anything.

    I am going to ask my cleaners but place she lives in in worst hit and she goes to many many places. Our nanny is not coming. My older one is little for camps plus extra burden or dropping, worrying about viruses,,..
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2020
  8. nuss

    nuss Finest Post Winner

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    Did your little one go to a daycare/preschool before the pandemic? My daughter was in daycare/preschool but we didn't send her from March-June because my son's school was closed and he was home. The daycare decided to take kids up to 2nd grade for summer camp because they don't have enough kids. It worked out well for us. Both kids are in the same room so interact with the same teachers and kids. Since it is a certified preschool, they take all precautions mandated by the state health department.

    If you can find a similar setup, that might help. If your many lives in a high-risk area, I won't be comfortable with asking her to come.
    Good luck! It's hard to play two roles at the same time!
     
  9. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Finest Post Winner

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    Stranded in India might have caused a huge emotional ordeal for you.
    Hang in there. It will get better. Just try to do one thing positive with your children (nothing elaborate - even simple things like applying nail paint/combing both your hair/ or choosing the days outfit). Let your older kid select clothes for your younger one and for you One day, give her choice of ordering toys or food that she wants. Take care of their small needs.

    Try to get both of them on the same eating and sleeping schedule. Might ease the burden.
    Do simple meals.
    See if you can switch to part-time.
    DONT BEAT YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING PERFECT!!


    The whole world is facing this. Everyone handles it differently but most of us are just barely hanging by a thread.
    We have just completely given up and trying to survive now. As there is so much stress on my husband's job, his industry just laid off a few thousand people last couple of months.
    My industry is doing excellent, but my job entails 5% of being in my office. So there is a huge component that I myself may succumb to the virus.
    I am also seriously considering taking a break from work. Just cause I am extremely worried about going to work and secondly whats the whole purpose of earning money when our child is not happy ( such dilemma)

    All we can do in this situation is to - Take precautions is not to get the virus. Second to just sail through this phase being alive.
    That's all I am focusing on right now.
    Although I am very concerned of the screen time- My husband and I have said we will not force my kid to write. My kid's personality is such that he is highly social and he thrives on doing excellent in a group. He doesn't handle loneliness. He did great in school and in extracurricular. Now, we dont want to force him to write/ read and for him to build a negative attitude towards it (maybe we are wrong, only time will tell).

    So we have made a choice for him to indulge in his iPad. We control on what he watches and plays- throughout the day he watches science videos and educational stuff, listens to books.
    I might get him to do 1 online activity.
    My husband takes him on a walk in the morning and exercises with him at noon. I garden with him in the evening or bike ride in the evening.

    By the time we sleep it's exhausting. Children are not meant to be at home. just seeing them without engaging with their peers kills me.

    Parenting during a pandemic: Parents juggle work, childcare and the unknown
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2020
  10. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    One of my friend took vacation hours, she and her husband took hours here and there. My friend planning to quit job for time being if it's going to be hectic.

    All depends on each family and their needs.

    Consider doing freezer meals with slow cooker. It takes some time to trial and see which suits your family. So try doing that, it's easy once you get the idea. I usually do breakfast and some curries in the slow cooker.

    5 year should be good enough to do some writing, coloring, sensory activities (check in pinterest).

    I am not sure where do you live. Your kid is 5? Kindergarten this year? If so have you planned for that?

    Do your best as everyone have their own struggles.... Since your kid is 5 and most schools going for online..have some plans either hiring a tutor coming for 2-3 hours a day???
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2020
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