Child Care And Other Logistics During The Birth Of Second Child

startinganew · Jun 25, 2020

Rihana said: ↑

Having a nanny in the house overnight with DD and us parents away was a big no.
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Reading it like that from R makes me rethink the safety of that option. On second thoughts - she's right, I wouldn't do it too. I have a couple of single girl friends I might check with to see if they'd sleep over at my place with nanny and kid. That way - my friends aren't responsible for full-load child-care but just overseeing safety of kid.

Also just saw your note that there are 2 similar age kids at your friend's place - the kids would have an amazing time! You can help your friends abundantly in ways you deem appropriate. (3 kids can be a lot - so load them up with snacks, food, etc? don't know..) Seems like that would be a much better option.

MalStrom · Jun 25, 2020

Angela123 said: ↑

What does a doula do?
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They provide emotional and physical support ( during labor, if you need massage etc) and help advocate for the mom if needed especially if there is any issue with following your birth plan. Some women like to have them in hand, it’s largely a personal preference and the experience they bring also varies widely depending on the person.

Angela123 · Jun 25, 2020

MalStrom said: ↑

They provide emotional and physical support ( during labor, if you need massage etc) and help advocate for the mom if needed especially if there is any issue with following your birth plan. Some women like to have them in hand, it’s largely a personal preference and the experience they bring also varies widely depending on the person.
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Thank you. Not sure if I will go this way. But we will see.

Angela123 · Jun 26, 2020

Rihana said: ↑

Was similar for us except that our older one was a bit younger than 9. Back then many cases of girls kidnapped from their homes at night were in the news, and I was worried crazy about all the scenarios of my going into labor.

In retrospect, I wish I had splurged some money -- hired a nanny/babysitter for two months, starting with when I went on maternity leave. Since nannies might not be interested in short-term jobs, I would have looked at those who usually provide after-school care and are fine with coming in 9 am to 2 pm a few days per week for those two months. The idea being that friends would be more able to help before 9 am and after 2 pm. And, negotiated with the nanny that she might have to come in earlier than 9 am around the delivery time.

Having a nanny in the house overnight with DD and us parents away was a big no.

Another option that struck me later was to check with Indian ladies who run daycare in their houses. Friends could have our DD from 6pm to school drop-off time.

Overall, we overdid the DIY thing and later realized that friends and even hi-bye neighbors are more than happy to help. Of course, Covid changes many things.

Another thing - even if hospital does not allow father inside, I'd prefer to have him hanging around nearby. : ) Sometimes, things move fast and it helps if the father can come in quickly to talk over options with the doctor. Though, now with whatsapp and other cell phone features, this need is not as crucial. I am beginning to realize how much things have changed since my second one was born and how much help technology can provide. I feel old.. : ) Time to go read Anika's grey hair dyeing threads again. : )
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Yes, this COVID situation changes a lot of things!
With COVID concerns hanging around for longer than I expected, I have only one friend that I can ask for help. For the day of delivery, I am planning to leave the kid with my trusted friend. Hiring someone to help is on the list, just need to find the person.
As of now, hospital allows the partner to be with me during the labor time, but no multiple entries are allowed. Go in as I go in and come back when I am allowed to go home. I would like to have him by me but this is something I am ready to let go, if we couldnt find anybody to take care of DD or we are in something unpredictable out of our control.

Angela123 · Jun 26, 2020

startinganew said: ↑

Just wanted to share the current hospital policy in our US city (because of Covid): siblings are not allowed and partner (father) does not get multiple re-entry into the hospital (so as to minimize bringing in any exposure in to birth ward of hospital). So one of our friends are planning to leave their kid at a very close friend's place for any number of days it will take.
Here is what I would do: Try out a couple of nannies to do a weekly baby-sitting 1 or 2 months in advance and someone who will be willing to stay at our place for a 3-4 days during birth. Set up nanny camera at all places kid+nanny will present at home (I'd prefer to be more cautious given that both mom and dad won't be able to visit). I'll ask for a couple of friends to drop by for an hour in the morning+evening to check on kid and nanny. H can facetime with kid periodically from hospital to make sure she/he is doing alright at home with nanny and see if they need anything. You could go for a nanny who can help with cooking and some light chores after you return from the hospital with a new-born.
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We have a very similar set of rules. I need to find more. I am leaning towards asking my friend for help on the day of delivery and a nanny until we get home with the new born. After that we probably wont need the nanny, DD is very independent. We might hire someone to help around the house, depending on the COVID situation at the time.
I am glad I posted my questions on this forum, I have better clarity on things that need to be done around the due date.
So thanks everyone!!