HI all, My 1.7 yrs toddler has started beating us. She is a hyperactive kid, goes to day care from 9 to 6. Once I gave her a spoon and katori to play and suddenly she thrashed my nose with it and I started bleeding on my nose...The cut that happened is intense and has left a black mark for life.. Similarly she beat her dad on his eyes continuously for 2 times with some object and now he is suffering with severe pain even after a week..These are the worst scenarios..Apart from that every now and then she beats us.. We try our best to get out of the room and cry our hearts out due to the pain instead of scolding her and manhandling her... Then we explain her that its wrong and ask her to tell sorry which she does obediently and the next moment she is back to beating spree...Talking firmly is not working..If I try ignore her she cries her lungs out seeking attention.. Now am afraid she does the same with the bigger ones in the day care. Yesterday I luckily saw a bigger guy chasing her for beating him..I am really scared as she is too small.. How should I go about with this?
She is learning the beating part in her daycare. Kids learn actions very fast by observing things that happens to them or around them. So in order to protect ur daughter from being beaten u can talk ur concerns to day care teacher. To stop her from beating ,u need to firmly keep on telling it is not correct to beat any one and telling stories on good habits etc. Always tell her she is a good girl and good girls will not beat others.
This is a big no-no. Remarks or comments, positive reinforcement or to encourage change, should always be about the action, never about the child. This snippet by Gauri03 is a delightful read on a related topic. The feedbacks in the thread are also good to read. I Want You To Be Happy At Me This is worth trying. 10-20 years ago we had Caillou, The Berenstain Bears -- books and shows that modeled good behavior. There must be other popular options now.
Everytime she raises her hand to beat,hold her hand firmly and in a calm and firm voice tell her ' no,you will not hit '. Or" no, it not okay to hit " ....every single time. If she cries...let her. She will realise it won't get her attention. Don't sulk or give silent treatment or try to punish. She is too young to understand any of that. Talk about this with the person who is taking care of her group in day care. She may be hitting back if she is getting hit.
Hello If she raises her hand to beat hold her hand firmly and be calm if you loose your temper then hell will break loose. Tell her you are not going to tolerate this kind of nonsense behaviour and continue this kind of strictness till she understands her mamma is serious and will have consequences. If she is still adamant on beatingn leave her in a room alone and keep a watch. Let her calm down and then explain. And these kinds of behaviour are learnt in daycare and playschool. If possible talk to her teacher or change her playschool
never use no frequently. i feel that the no makes them test the boundary again. given that your dd is hyperactive maybe you should try keeping away pbjects that could hurt around her and going away and crying is no-no. she should know that it hurts you and you feel pain. maybe your not being firm with her about her hitting has led to her thinking it is right to do or she thinks of it as a game. talk to the caretaker and enlist their help to divert her from this divert her saying that you think she is going to play with that. make it playful and more about right and wrong rather than her being good or bad. devise a game of music or sounds with the object she tries to use on you. i would rather make it playful music session and laughing cuddling session with the katori and spoon rather than allowing her to hit. and aometimes hitting is not done with the intention of hurting anyone, it is a venting of her anger or frustration. maybe you need to address that too..
Thank you very much dear ladies for the response... @Rihana thanks for mentioning about gauri's post..thoroughly enjoyed reading it.. @sindmani and @Rihana you have suggested reading her a book. I feel so bad at even admitting this..she tears all the books..the sessions with books are a disaster as well..the moment I sit with a book she snatches it from me..fine..i leave her so that she can flip about..but after turning the pages for few moments she tears it out. if i try getting it from her, boom she cries..still i have to snatch it to prevent further damage. @yellowmango actually the silent treatment technique was told by my paediatrician so tried that yesterday. but hell broke loose and i was under my wits end..she cried like anything..Even when her papa spanks her slightly as a mode of reprimand she smiles and brushes it off..I got to know yesterday that silent treatment would never work with my cutie..So checking it off.. @Shanvy making it a music session is a innovative idea..ll try that from now on..If I keep objects out of reach, she climbs on chairs and with some other objects try to reach the forbidden object..I walk on egg shells every day praying vehemently..even in a empty room with a bed and toys all she does is somersaulting ..I am amazed by this though @shwetapj I am trying what you have mentioned but not with much success..hence this thread. We dread going out with her.....she wants to be so independent.runs around leaving my hands..wont allow me to carry her..dinning is still more worse..wont sit in the chair to dine instead stands up on the table and try jumping down or would want to feed herself with spoon..the place we leave is a mess and once a hotel manager scolded us for all the mess..food strewn everywhere, tissue papers out of its place and a whining baby.. Even my parents are not empathetic enough to even listen to me and either laugh at my stories or scold me for being critical..And i have no friends as well..atleast am happy that i have this liberty in il to speak my heart out. .Sorry for the vent..but she is so smart and i dwell on it..
Ur daughter is very cutie and active child. Jumping , somersaulting etc shows she is interested in sports and outdoor activities. If the climate is good outside with no heavy winter, u can take her to parks or any play area often .Let her run around and play . .
@Sweety2016 i understand what you mean. somersaults and balancing are some developments of the 15-24 months age i think be careful. i have a hyperactive son and he could balance himself on a rolling ball as a 2 yr old and stand on his toe on a upturned kid tumbler the small one that we use to give kids water. everytime he did that i had my heart jump a x times. so my only suggestion is be careful wih her. and think ahead of her..