Chicks and Swines

The Chicks and the Swines


​

Swine Flu is raging across Rajasthan, and in Jaipur. A few days back someone known to us died from Swine Flu.He was suffering from cough and cold, running nose , sore throat, the usual symtoms of cold, so he went to his neighborhood chemist, and for a month took various pills from him, for his ills, without paying the doctor his Bill.


Well it developed into Swine Flu, and it was in the last stages, when they went to the private hospital, they threw them out, telling them to go to the government hospital here, and there he breathed his last in a couple of days.



So when I was suffering from these symptoms in thelast few days, went to doc, he said relax. But I did not want the swine to get better of me, so went to the Government hospital, buying a mask along the way. Wife and brother also came along, and I stood in the long line, every male chap having his nose covered with a handkerchief. The doc looked at me, asked me a few questions, and said u don’t have the swine in you, go home.



I was very relived, rather overjoyed, and then an idea struck me there, a business idea. After we make garments from fabrics, there is wastage of fabric, cut pieces, well their cost is already calculated in the garment we make. We sell these as scrap, for car mechanics to clean their hands off grease etc.



I decided that if I make a handkerchief of these wastages and sell them, now is the time to sell, it will be good for my pocket. So as soon as I came home took out a few wastages , worked on them, and lo they came out damn good as handkerchiefs, all colourful, that I went to a chemist near the govt hospital , whom I know from whom I buy my medicines every month, and told him, keep these on approval, for 15 bucks a piece, u go sell it for whatever price u want, I have them in huge quantities, pay me if u sell them, otherwise return them.



That was day before, and today I got a call that sir the 10 that u gave me, sold off, send me more, so I sent him a 100 more. Well swine flu is bad for some, but good for my business.



And swine flu has not spared our Ministers also, a few of them are affected by it, but they wont die, for they were caught in the first stage. As someone remarked to me in the park, wish these swines catch more ministers, well well,



Another item which interested me was, the case of the breast and the leg. It seems Indians and aermicans share their love for chickens, that is why you have the Kentucky Fried Chicken, in USA and India too. The difference being , Americans love the breast, and Indians the legs.



Now here the legs sell for 250 per kg and above. And in America, as per reports, they eat the breast, and put the legs in deep freezers, for a few years, searching for buyers in third world countries. And now it seems with Obama coming to india, I think the Chicken chaps must have told him to put forward their case to the govt here, to allow the import of cheap American Chicken legs, which will retail for 100 a kg here.The Indian chicken chaps have raised an alarm so the imports stand banned for now.



These are old legs, years old ones, well they might reach the Indian shores well, from the transportation from say Mumbai to jaipur, they need deep freezer trucks, then the shops also need deep freezers, which I don’t think is possible, and I think a lot of diseases will come in thru these chickens, like Bird Flu, but of a different kind, so I don’t think it is a good idea to import or eat those stale chicken parts.



And wife is after me to leave eating chicken, for I may get swine flu. I called up the doc, to confirm, and he said this is caused not by eating chicken, but by eating pork, and it is spread thru the air, so he said , relax Kamal, don’t listen to half baked news.So now I am relaxed and can relish the chicks in peace, piece by piece, vegetarians please excuse.



With a few weddings to go to this month, it is risky in the crowds. As also in the flights, for fellow having this, and it spreads like wildfire.


So now the old way of greeting is fine, Namaste, where u don’t touch the other person.


Namaste my friends.HAHA

KAMAL MAHTANI


Interesting..

Who shud be a World Leader among these 3?

Mr A - He had frienship with bad politicians, consults astrologers, two wives, chain smoker, drinks eight to 10 times a day.

Mr B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps till noon, used opium in college & drinks whiskey every evening.

Mr C - He is a decorated war hero,a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

You would want Mr.C to be d leader.






But..





Mr. A was Franklin Roosevelt!

Mr. B was Winston Churchill!!

&

Mr C Was ADOLF HITLER!!!

Strange but true..

Its risky to judge anyone by his habits !
Character is a complex phenomenon.






Small joke about all of us: -

Think you are sitting in front of computer, what computer will think...??

Do you know...??

Intel inside
mental outside...

ha..ha..ha...

Wait don't laugh, joke is not over...

You are standing in front of fridge...

What fridge will think...

Do you know...??

Cool inside
fool outside

wait one more for u 

Think you are standing outside race course...

What race course will think...

Do you know...??

Ghoda inside
Gadha outside...

Now laugh...

Think you are using Whatsapp, what will Whatsapp think?
Jokes inside, joker outside


=============


Innocent Kid : Mummy mujhe 1 Bhai Chahiye ...!!!

Mummy : Beta Dad USA mein hai, Jaise hi Woh Ayenge hum Baat karenge Unse....

Kid - Aap Unhe Surprise bhi toh de Sakte ho 

ROCKING GENERATION


=

Chitragupt's problem :


One day Chitragupt told Brahma that he should stop this scheme that if ladies keep Karva Chauth...they will get the same husband for the next 7 janam...


Brahma asked, ”Why”


Chitragupt : Prabhu... its becoming difficult to manage...
The ladies want the same husband  and the husbands want a new wife
Its a problem to convince both.


Brahma : But this can’t be stopped...
It’s been going on since times immemorial.

Just then Naarad muni comes and he suggested...
On earth, there is a great person called "KAMAL MAHTANI
Ask him for a solution.

(Chitragupt meets KAMAL MAHTANI)

In one minute KAMAL MAHTANI solves the problem...

he advised Chitragupt...
Any lady who wants the same husband... tell her that,
she will also get the same "MOTHER IN LAW"

All women screamed "Nahiiiiiii!!!!!






Problem solved

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter's Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends,
"My son is a priest. When he walks into
a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps,
"My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says,
"My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly,
"My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She pro udly replies,
"I have a beautiful daughter,

When she walks into a room, people say,

"Jeeeeesssssus!".

 

Dea r Sy,

Yes better to avoid crowds and functions that are not necessary.Today it came inthe papers tha the masks they are selling, they aer useless. there is enough space for the virus to go in. So anyway it is risky. handkercheif is better, if u go out cover yr nose with it, and that is lot safter, even wear it to the market.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Neetu,

HAHA. yes i am selling those long ones too, 40 inches by 40 inches which coer the whole head, just the eyes are seen, as girls wear them here to keep the dust and theheat away, and as well as their identities are hidden, in a way good, stops eveteasing, u cant even identify your own daughter, unlcess u know what clothes she is wearing. these scarves are very in in Rajasthan, and maybe elsewhere too as u say.

Regards

kamal

 

Dea r Suryakala,

thank u so much. i am fine.keep smiling, smiles keep diseases miles away.

HAHA

Regards

kamal