I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette When your enemy steals your wife, there is no better revenge on him than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates Women inspire us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Dumas I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Anonymous People want to know the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant at least twice a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Henny Youngman I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't. - Patrick Murray Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming : Whenever you're wrong, admit it . Whenever you're right, shut up. - Nash The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... - Anonymous You want to know what I did before I married? Well, anything I wanted to. - Henny Youngman My wife and I were very happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle DSRINI