Cheeky MIL giving stale food!!!!

compassion · Jun 1, 2009

Hi friends,
Once again,today MIL took charge of kitchen and toldme to domy work in my room,little did i realise that FIL is at home today and she wants to create an impression of being so hardworking and me being inconsiderate..
Lunchtime,she packs my husbands tiffin and makes special'paratha'for him(doesnot allow maid to make it!)and gives him fresh veg.and yogurt alongwith his fav.curry ,for herself,she prepared masala rice (using butter and spices) and quickly she put stale daal in front of me and FIL(who is a very simple man)..I told her that this daal has gone bad(3 days old)towhich she replied"no no, i hv put it in my kichdi,and such thing is gud for stomach as it is like yeast )..i told her yeast is good as long as it is in bread or DOSA,and then i gave my daal to her to eat which she refused.I took out curd from fridge and had fresh veg. and refused to eat Daal.Then infront of my FIL,i asked her,why she has not sent the same daal to my husband?(politely of course !) .She replied, oh we dont know when he gets time to eat,so it may have got spoiled by evening!
All the time her 'hyperactive'mind keeps concocting some plan..and i always catch her!FIL was also suggesting me toeat it but i told him that i donot wish to get sick of food poisoning and neither should he eat stale food.But these both MIL and FIL are such 'kanjoos"people,they will not let one sip of tea even get wasted.One day old tea was offered to the maid infront of my eyes..i hv pulled out things that are 8 year old, lying in refrigerator!(some squash,old chutni etc).Infront of others,MIL brags about her own and her daughters Diamonds and high taste!!!!
Before also,she tried doing many such partial things and now i am checking her..but every morning,she creates a mess in house by screaming at maid and keepsrunning here and there unnecessarily !there is simply no need for any panic.no need of her monitoring as i readily do it ..and quite happily take care of my responsibility but then she tellme,Oh if i sit and watch tv,my health will suffer!She keeps eating all sorts of vitamins,honey,chawanprash,fruits,cod liver oil ...is so afraid of getting older!

How to deal???

Malyatha · Jun 1, 2009

The only way to deal with this is to cook your own (fresh) food! Do not eat *anything* that the woman puts in front of you. God only knows how old it would be and what would be in it!!!

This isn't such a bad / difficult thing to do IF you are a housewife, but could get difficult if you are a working woman with little time to cook fresh for yourself every day. But it can be done -- you can eat out for lunch and just make dinner for yourself every day. But whatever it is, do not eat her cooking. Just reading your message creeps me out. Yeast is good for health, indeed! Why doesn't she help herself to it, then??

Happysoul1234 · Jun 1, 2009

Ignore Ignore Ignore that's the only way to live with such people. Every time she does something to irritate you give her a few choice gaalis in your mind while keeping a smile pasted on your face. Keep communication to a bare minumum and make arrangements to have food made for yourself.

My MIL used to do the same when she came here supposedly to help me after my delivery. fresh food for herself and her son and old food for me, the lactating mom. I called her out on it in front of her son a couple of times to let him know what was going on. and then made my own food.

sunitha · Jun 2, 2009

Well,I guess you are already dealing with her quite efficiently...just carry on doing what you are doing right now..All the best:thumbsup

supriyaakp · Jun 2, 2009

You are dealing already in a right way,continue that. never eat "that stuff" anything prepared by her.

shubhas · Jun 2, 2009

I suggest, you need not have to starve urself from food, u can cook urself and eat, take ur freedom there, this is the only way women can prove coz cooking is after all an art and can be freely practised.

asha_karthik · Jun 2, 2009

Like a few others have told here, you are in the right path. Just eat what you think is not going to damage your health and don't start a verbal tiff about it. After all you should eat in peace.

I think women think they do a great saving to the family by having stale food. My mil does the same with me and sometimes herself also (while there are lot of other food and things that she wastes with no second thought). Everytime she used to attempt having food that i cannot eat myself, I just simply bin it and ask her to eat fresh food (i used to, not any more). Her hubb and my hubb get the best always.
Compassion - do you have a SIL? i do not. sometimes i used to feel, if my MIL had a daughter, she wouldn't probably take women's health so much for granted.

malar_arasi · Jun 2, 2009

Hmm I was under impression only my MIL does these things...

It happened to me so many times during the initial days of my marriage when she asked me to take stale food. I used to do it abidingly as I got scolded once that saying that If you want fresh food always we can't run a family :rant

One fine day she asked me to take some old Sambhar with Idli in front of DH. I told her I can take Chutney instead but she refused and compelled me to have Sambhar. The same day I had vomitting (I took out all the Idli + Sambhar) and fever. DH took control and told MIL specifically not to make me have stale food. I am free from that day onwards to have my own food. MIL still eats old food though none of us compel her to do so and keep saying that she is doing a sacrifice or blaming me that I am so weak that I can't handle this small things. I ignore it and take care of my own health. So you can also try something similar and make ur DH get involved here...

sandu · Jun 2, 2009

Dear compassion,
You just reminded me of my very own mil. She is JUST like yours. Never wastes even stale food or rotten vegetables, brags about her housekeeping skills, and complains to fil and my husband that I am wasting food without batting an eyelid. She threw a huge tantrum in front of relatives when I advised her to throw away some rotten vegetables. My God! I had shivers that day while speaking to her. What do these people think? That we have no sense? They having cooked for 40 years doesnt imply that they always know better... My mil plainly refuses to agree with me when I tell her that something is spoiled, creates a fuss and says "If you are afraid, dont eat it. I will eat it!", acting like a saint. But when her dear son remarks that the food is spoiled, she immediately agrees and stows it away.
I was terribly taken aback looking at the things stored in their fridge too - imagine, right from film rolls to chocolates i had given them 4 years back!

Since you have the right to cook your own meals there, there is no big problem. Simply keep a watch on what's going to be served, and if you doubt its age, just make yourself something quickly. Try taking your fil to your side... may be he is just unaware of the quality of the food being served to him. Good luck!
Sandhya

raha256 · Jun 2, 2009

my MIL does the same thing. u can find some stuffs which was purchased before my marriage. when i got married i did'nt know what to do. when i was pregnent i told that i have my exams and had a GREAT ESCAPE to my mom place. when i came here i started cooking. I am a good cook . but still she continued to all nonsense. one day i kept the food that was offered to me in the fridge. My MIL asked me the reason. i told her that i'll have it for dinner. when my DH came home i gave to him. she didnt expect that from me. i was a great shock for her. even today whenever something is offered to me i'll pass it to my DH and i'll have my DH plate.

once she went out of town and i showed those stuffs to my DH. HE WAS SHOCKED TO SEE . will u believe if i say she had 6 year old chappathis in the fridge?. yes dear, pls believe she had kept it.

raha