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Changing of name at the time of marriage??

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by kainaath, Apr 27, 2010.

  1. kainaath

    kainaath Senior IL'ite

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    recently i heard this from a friend and i find it really atrocious behaviour...

    Mr A went to see this girl (miss X) with the intention of a marriage proposal. After consultation with the family and the religious heads( not a pandit or numerologist), it was said to Mr A that the proposal is of an Ok kind...it could be better if the name of the girl (miss X) be changed before marriage as it doesnt suit this name, and can cause harm in the future.
    When the girl's family was brought upon this piece of information, they simply refuse to give their daughter in marriage to Mr A.

    What i say is,why should the girl change her name in order to get better prosperity to the man. As it is in India, by default the surname changes, now even the name? :drowning
    If im not mistaken, in Sindhis the girl has to change her after marriage, that way she ends up with two name...prewedding name and post wedding name.
     
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  2. SmartandSweet

    SmartandSweet New IL'ite

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    Good for the girl's family to reject such a marriage proposal.
    At least this guys family brought it up before proceeding with the marrigae, my MIL brought it up after my wedding. She wanted to change my name to some 'goddess's' name saying my original name sounded mordern and stylish. I put both my feet down firmly against it, it was the name my parents picked for me and thats how i will be known for rest of my life.( this is one of the few things i have been firm on and succeded against MIL and am very proud of it).
    Ironically now all her relatives and friends have been complimenting on my name and how well it rhymes with hubbys name put together, she has completly turned tables and proudly mentions my 'name' to her friends, fans and followers and however listens. :bonk
    '
     
  3. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    If you want to change names to your whims and fancies........Get a Pet.
     
  4. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Even in South India they apparently have or had this practice of changing a girl's first name just before the marriage. My grandmother's first name got changed like this. Grandma ofcourse thinks its no big deal, but then that's her.

    In our family, the practice ended with grandma. Mom even retained her last name and did not change the last name as per my Dad's name :)

    Ditto for my DW. She has her own last name - different than mine.

    Good on the family for rejecting the proposal. REJETTED!:thumbsup
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2010
  5. crazywriter

    crazywriter Platinum IL'ite

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    in fact, in south indian brahmin households, the women does not change her name after marriage. she retains her father's/mother's family name.
    that is how it was with Iyers.nowadays, women take on their husband's name as their surname, which I am not very supportive of.

    like any other feminist, I will say it meddles with your identity.
     
  6. crazywriter

    crazywriter Platinum IL'ite

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    in fact, in a recent judgement, a high court has said that a woman can retain her husband's surname post divorce. the justification is that a surname is common, and anyone can use it.

    this was when a person objected to his wife continuing to use his surname in spite of being divorced.

    well said, and well judged, I must say!
     
  7. Agnishka

    Agnishka New IL'ite

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    I am new here
    I think it's personal choice to change your name after marriage. I am definitely not changing my name if I get married :)
     
  8. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Are you one of those Crazy Feminists crazyWriter? You are crazy in some way I suppose :) LOL, I'm just pulling your leg, I liked your blog (read a few posts), and wanted to say "Hi, nice job" :thumbsup
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2010
  9. priyasworld

    priyasworld New IL'ite

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    This is a common practice in Maharashtrian families too..
    I have a couple of friends who have changed their names and don't find it a big deal..
    Everyone in their family has and it is part of the ritual..

    When I learnt about this, I was shocked to see such seemingly modern, broad-minded girls being so non-chalant about what I feel is an identity issue...but they were very matter-of-fact about it.. and did not seem to bother them that much..
     
  10. BeeAmma

    BeeAmma Silver IL'ite

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    I did not change either parts of my name post marriage. Ditto for the spouse. I am unable to locate quite a few of my classmates as they have changed their last names post marriage.:hiya
     

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