1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Change in Admission policy............

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Arunarc, Nov 19, 2007.

  1. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,595
    Likes Received:
    2,781
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=2 width="100%" border=0><TD style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; DIRECTION: ltr" width="100%">



    It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to changethe admi ssion policy. The new law was that in order to get intoHeaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died.Thepolicy would go into effect at noon the next day.

    So the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.

    The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day wasgoing when you died."

    "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartmenton my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife washalf naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony andnoticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!

    Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me offeven more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing Ithought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly." The Angel sat back and thought a moment.

    Technically, the guy did have a bad day,it was a crime of passion.

    So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.

    A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it was Kevin Rudd." Mr. Rudd, before I can let you in, I need to hearabout what your day was like when you died." Kevin said, "Noproblem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of a26th floor apartment where we were staying for a conference doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushinghard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away,
    slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able tocatch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden thiscrazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom whichbroke my fall, so I didn't die right away.

    As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and inexcruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all thingsoff the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing meinstantly."

    The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Kevin finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself."Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets Rudd enter.

    A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of passionate lovemaking and Monica Lewinsky pour through the Angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr Clinton,please tell me what it was like the day you died."

    Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, inside a refrigerator......"

     
    Loading...

  2. Meenaneelakantan

    Meenaneelakantan Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    718
    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female

Share This Page