Dear all, I am really venting out here..as I am really feeling directionless and sinking in depression. Currently I am SAHM of 2 kids by force and choice both..I was always working woman except one small break of 6 months I had to take due to relocation.<br><br>I got my job in foreign land with lot of struggle and worked in MNC for 6years compromising on junior position and really working like dog for 6years proving my potential...I was promoted twice with good pay and foreign visits.. of course ride was not smooth with one kid as time to time I had to be at mercy of maid with tantrums, parents and in laws on visit with all possible issues...but i was taking it all as challenge with money and dignity I was getting.. There were blue days of job dissatisfaction, harassment at work but I was doing my best with all good hopes in mind. I also tried to change job but it didnt materialise by the time I decided for having 2nd kid before hitting by 35.<br><br><br>But after my 2nd child in 2013 i again had to take a break as I faced many problems at a time...stressful job, long work hours, new nasty boss, work politics, no reliable maids, no support from in-laws(as they are totally against my working ) , no support from parents (On US visit for 4 months with my younger sis) ...<br>Looking at my 4month old baby I took emotional decision of quitting for career break as all my leave was exhausted.. <br><br>I tried to come out of my mom harmones after few month soon getting maid again with failed attempts to rejoin company ..<br>Finally I got a job in a new company again at junior level with desperation but it was a disaster..I just couldnt focus on work like before. I was missing my kids badly and was getting distracted hearing complaints about the new maid from friends and neighbors.. I tried surviving calling mom on visit but it didnt work for long.. and seeing my decreasing performance and not staying late at work I was fired just a week before completing 6months probation in 2014..<br><br>With mututal discussion we decided not to have maid and I should work only when any suitable job comes up keeping kids at Day care. by that time they too will be grown up.<br><br>It has been 1 year now I am fired..I havent got a single interview call and fed up of apply apply no reply..With lot of hopes i did US certification but realised it has no value in this job market.. <br><br>I have lost all my confidence in myself and my abilities in my field . My husband is also doubting my ability to work after long break. Of course with his busy job schedule as per him he can not support me in any way in household chores even if I get job. So I am not sure how I will balance home n work n kids after getting job. Also when it comes to hiring helps he gets very stingy to pay. With last experience he says there is no point in spending on full time helps until my job gets confirmed..I feel like I am no where..not sure what to do...every day I pray how to come out of dilemma ...Please send me some positive vibes and piece of wisdom ..my parents are getting old and feel very bad seeing their educated daughter financially dependent on husband..I am already hearing lot of criticism from them..and my in laws commenting through hubby finally I am at a place where I deserve to be. All this while I was showing off what I was not simply to compete with my talented son.<br><br>sorry I am in tears now..please help.
Hi Challenge, it is the circumstances inside and outside home (like no proper maids, no family help and work politics, horrible boss, etc . I think the country itself not favorable to immigrants, so u face so many issues. ) and not your abilities/inabilities making it tough at home or outside. So please don't doubt your potentials. 1. Search for work from home options and i think there are some info in this IL website too. 2. Don't know what is your field, to suggest more.
Challenge, I think you have a lot on your plate to handle. Please clear your thoughts first. From what I could see as any other mom, kids are your top priority now. I am guessing that they are still at the age where they take a nap mid day. Why dont you use that time to take care of yourself ? Forget about maintaining home for sometime, you hve to be happy to handle all other things. Try exercising which helps in letting go of the stress and builds your confidence. Leave what your husband, parents or inlaws think about you. All that should matter is what you think you are and what you are capable of. Never let anyone define your boundaries. Build that type of confidence and things will slowly start around. I do understand the frustation of sitting at home after working for so long. But instead of doubting whether you can do it or not, just believe that you can do it.If you believe in yourself everything becomes easy. Also, as kids keep growing our priorties change and we lean more towards their activities and making sure we are with them for all these. So why dont u try in a field which is different than yours and which you still love?
