Catholic - hindu married life - suggestions needed

Okay...peace! (just wanted to add that while I did share my "personal" experience on a public platform it was meant for the OP. Yes, this is a public forum but that does not mean people can overstep boundaries and be judgmental, which is what some of the posts were leaning towards...and that's what I meant by staying away from questioning 'personal choices between a couple".) When all is said and done, I hope the OP was able to get answers to her original concerns!

 

Well I don't think anyone overstepped the boundaries here. Am sure whatever written, said, was within the defined boundary as far as forum guidelines are concerned. Unless, one was looking for a special exemption! In that case, it would be a good idea to include a disclaimer in the beginning saying 'these are personal choices between me and my husband, i wouldn't like anyone to read/interpret/comment on what is written'.

 

If this is not a personal and direct question, I don't know what is. Your post was not questioning an 'ideology' as you would like to believe but was an out-of-context response to my post addressing OP and her issues. Sure, you can jump in and pick on any posts on any forums, dissect it for no rhyme or reason, offer unsolicited advice, add a pinch of sarcasm for good measure (as you did with your last entry) and still be within "forum guidelines"...that does not mean you are doing the right thing or that the other person should take it lying down just because she dared to share on a public forum.

P.S: I am not expecting any exemption nor am I in need of one. I do expect people to think before they offer their two cents on whether their post is relevant to the OP's thread. Sadly, I find many of the posts following mine to be judgmental and downright disrespectful to someone's belief (eg: Tugga's post to OP and the string of censure to her choices). There have been snide comments on 'conversion', "washing away sins", and how 'unfair' it is when one partner decides to follow a particular faith and the other partner agrees (!!!), which are not made in good taste or in the spirit of IndusLadies. Above all, none of these discussions address the OP's specific concerns in a constructive way...and we wonder why she has disappeared! lol

 

Perhaps this should be separate thread in a different forum...bukbuk this is what I mean by two completely divergent philosophies...there will never be a meeting point...

Tugga states what she believes and it is offensive to others...but she doesn't see it as offensive because that IS a fundamental principle of how she believes. We can't change other people's systems of belief but we can learn to understand our own (if we follow one) and also what we are willing to accept in our partner. That freedom of choice we do have. it is a personal choice.

We follow this even in the friendships we make...so why not in marriage?

 

CJ: Its not hard to understand why you are worked up, and I apologise for hurting your deep religious feelings. I did try to word my response (the one that you have quoted partially above), as carefully as possible, but I can see that effort hasn't just gone in vain but has completely backfired! I don't see any point in explaining myself again. So my brilliance would lie in getting out of this slimy slick without getting my hands further dirtier. Good luck with dealing with your in-laws (who i think you said call you rigid, fanatic - oh how awful and what terrible things to say!)

Good Luck!

 

Oh yes Teacher! Am totally enlightened. Pls forgive my misgivings and let us all move on

 

Bukbuk(?) can I give you a word of non related advice? Sorry to digress...if you don't already, do write few hundred words a week...you are a very good writer...I do have experience picking out good language skills even if my posts lie...I hate the auto correction and never edit.

You never know where your writing it will take you...

I know...it is not a topic with clear black and white answers...

 

"You shall have no other gods before Me"
The above mentioned statement is NOT made by Tugga or CJ, but just the extract from the Bible's Ten Commandments. For further details, ten commandments are found in the bible's old testaments at Exodus chapter 20. It is believed that they were given directly by the God to the people.

I am a Christian, and this is what I believe.. and this is how my faith goes. Just because I am in love with someone doesnt mean I must change my faith or belief. Ridiculous.

It is simple as it is.... If you are a Bhramin, and you eat only veggies by choice and faith... and inform your would be husband about this very clearly before you tie the knot. There is nothing wrong... No one can ask you or force you to eat non veg because you have chosen to marry a non Bhramin... It is your spouse's choice whether to go ahead with this relationship or break it from that point/difference. Because he only knows what will be expected from his family/people after the marriage. Either he must agree and accept with you or adjust with his people to make you comfortable with your faith/belief. Simple.
If he thinks that he can not adjust with his people's demand on this, then it is better he breaks up with you rather than marrying you and forcing you to change your faith. This is not acceptable.

I just mentioned about my faith, and how I put it forth before I enter into a relationship with a non believer. Also I clearly stated that how things will change down the line with the name of influence of family members, hence I asked the OP to be prepared to face such issues in the future. I never intended to harm anyone nor used stupid languages here.

According to the Bible, it is a SIN to worship other Gods (be it Hindu or whoever) before the one, whom we believe as our God. It doesnt mean we Christian should not have relationship with others, or bear a non christian child... Just because I believe in one God and wanted to follow that faith forever, doesnt mean I am a sinner or I am not allowed to have a relationship with others.
According to me, this is one of the very biased statement that I have encountered so far...

I never forced my husband to follow my religion... I never ever asked him not to teach anything of his religion to our son.. I have been always open for that.
I never stopped him following his religion or celebrating his festivals. I even helped him in various ways to enjoy his festivals and even visited his temples a couple of times (just visiting not praying).
I am very much open for my son to select any religion as per his choice.. I only teach mine, and I can not teach Hinduism or Islam. If my husband doesnt want to take up the responsibility as a dad in other terms, but only want to make sure that my son is learning Hinduism, then I can't allow that... It has to come up as a package of love and responsibility.

Off note... I have noticed that this forum is very biased with certain Religion, custom and group of people. If someone comes up with a different faith, it is very difficult for them to get justice here. I encountered this for a long time because of my faith and other practices that normally majority of Indian women dont follow.

 

Thanks CJ for posting this.... I find it very much disrespectful and in some cases I just can not differentiate my monster in laws from some of the posters here. Sorry for that, but this is what i feel deep down in my heart

I just posted to the OP very clearly about what I encountered after being in a relationship with a non Christian. I didnt post anything as offensive as I said this is what I explained, and this is what my husband agreed. If that was an offensive to my husband or his family, then they could have rejected my love/proposal immediately. That had that choice to reject me, but they happily agreed to go ahead for a marriage.

Here, I should blame my in laws for changing their mind and interfering into our business and forcing me to change my faith. I should blame my husband for not realizing such complications before marriage, but nodding his head for whatever I explained and now hiding his face behind his parents.

Strangely the forum finds faults in me for explaining my faith before marriage or having such a faith. The forum finds fault in Bible and its Ten commandments and become judgmental for the matter I mentioned as SIN. This is what exactly my MIL says and behaves. This is what exactly I find it very difficult to deal with them... I really dont understand this.... Is this the spirit of Indian women or Indusladies? Then I better sign off completely for good

 

I dunno why you got this perception..Maybe you are only used to sympathy for all your 'rona-dhona' threads and got rattled by some questions raised here

and WHAT JUSTICE do you want..people are anyways giving good replies on your other threads....:rant

If it forum members or responses bother you then PLEASE LEAVE this forum and stop spamming the forum with 1 o2 threads every now and then crying and cribbing about how "fanatic your ILS are"; "what a LOOSER your DH is....", "wht a nice MIL your sis has" and blah blah :evil:

Believe me its nothing but cheap entertainment and sympathy.....everyone can see this pattern in your threads of bashing your ILs/ DH...

Moderators, please close this thread..Enough water under the bridge...