Catholic - hindu married life - suggestions needed

And there is room for that too no I think I am realistic about what my choices are...

 

Thanks for the wishes SSM.

I think some of you have misunderstood my post (or maybe I should have rephrased it better!)...I did not use those adjectives to describe my ILs or others! These were some of the names that I have been called by people outside our marriage. I simply meant that I have learned to live with such statements made by people from other faiths concerning my choice (and going by how quick some of you have been to say these adjectives are applicable to me, I hope you can understand where I'm coming from!) Hope that clears things up

 

Whoa...I think this thread is going way off tangent. I don't wish to go into detail on my choices...it is personal and, in my experience, it is not something that people understand unless they have a personal relationship with God (and please don't pick on this statement as well!). I have had my share of brickbats for my choices and I choose not to discuss them on this public platform for three reasons: a) they are personal and between my DH and I b) they have nothing to do with OP's predicament! c) they won't lead to constructive discussion...it will mostly be a 'fair vs unfair' 'politically correct' 'my religion vs your religion' harangue.

I don't think an inter-faith marriage MUST conform to both faiths...nobody can lay down such 'rules' because it depends on many factors and is a very personal choice between a couple. While I respect the fact that the parents of the couple are very much a part of the family and their views must be heard, I strongly believe that there are decisions that the couple must make on their own. It does not mean it is not "anybody's business" to interfere...it just means others must know that there are boundaries in relationships and the marriage relationship is between husband and wife! There may be those who disagree with me, but hey, that's your call and this is mine. So let's leave it at that!

I related my personal experience to the OP just to highlight that she may think through all these things before marriage and reach an agreement with her fiance, but it may still turn out to be difficult in everyday life post-marriage. That's all! I DO NOT want to deviate this thread any further...I would appreciate it if everyone addresses the OP's post and not my response to her!

 

My post to OP was just to share my personal experience about how things might change after marriage. The OP is not yet married and is trying to think through all important milestones before marriage and reach an agreement with her fiance. It is wise and that's what I did too...I merely wanted to highlight that everything won't be peachy just because the OP has talked things through at this stage and that she should be prepared to handle difficult situations. In no way was I trying to tell her how she should go about her choices! My choices are personal and working just fine for both my DH and I, irrespective of what others might think

Again these are very personal issues between a couple and, while I respect your views, I think it is a bit presumptuous to state what is right and what is not for someone else. AGAIN, my post was meant for the OP to tell her she should be ready to face issues in an inter-faith marriage and nothing more than that! I know and understand that each situation is different...Honestly, I do not agree with OP's approach for my own reasons, but I am certainly not going to tell her if it is right/fair or not ...simply because it is not my place. I hope that makes sense to you too.

 

Mmm..I think the post deviated because ssm asked further questions and as for your post...it had just come to the forum...I think the discussion was more on what our boundaries are in commenting on others' marriage than your case per se.

 

As long as people get off my back I'm happy! lol...I just woke up and logged in to find my user id mentioned in several other posts...my foggy brain almost made me believe I had started this thread!

 

CJ:I understand your post was directed towards OP (strangely, she hasn't returned to a very 'hot' discussion that she began). But since this is a public forum where you posted your very 'personal views between a couple', I think it's only natural you invite some nods and some rebuttals. So mine was one such rebuttal to the idea that was portrayed. So my response was for/against just an idea, which seemingly looked like an ideology, and presented in very concise, brief passage.

Whatever I said above was not personal against you. So no hard feelings please.

 

very biased statement - marrying and bearing non-christian children is not considered sin?

Non sin family it seems.

Well-said...not only inter religious...inter state marriage is not easy in India.

 

That sin is washed off by conversion

 

It is marriage at convinience!