Cash is King and a Doctor

Cash is King and a Doctor<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />​

Today’s TOI dt 15<SUP>th</SUP> April had this lovely story



So the feel of money lessens the pains of the body and brings down the suffering eh !


That set my mind ticking and thinking. You know Bank Cashiers take and give out crores of Ruppes each day, they count money day in and day out, so these Bank Cashiers must be the healthiest and happiest people around ?


This contradicts a survey carried out a few years back, when the Western Governments surveyed the currency notes. They found that most of the notes contain, besides dirt and bacteria, traces of cocaine and faeces , that is ****. Indian notes contains traces of Pan, jarda, katha, and traces of urine too !


The advertisements on TV, of Dettol show that we must bathe with them to kill the germs and bacteria. In fact Dettol and lifebuoy now should show ads, whereby they adivse people to wash currency notes before using them., for they contain so many germs.It is another matter, that after washing, u may find out that the bacteria has disappeared from the notes, but the printing too has disappeared and all u are left with a is aplain piece of paper !!!


I have seen a rich Sindhi Seth, wearing gloves, and never touched money for many years, for he was aware of the bactieria in the notes, and he had assistants dealing with these matters, and he never ever carried money or handled it. Smart fellow, he knews years in advance , what the Americans came to know much later, that there are germs in the currency notes.


Regarding notes that reminds me. The olden notes of say 30 years back used to carry this sign , signed by the RBI

“ I promise to pay, on demand, the sum of Rupees One Hundred to the bearer”

These days if u check, the words on demand is not there. It may mean, that the RBI promises to pay u, if and when they have the money, otherwise go take a walk, or use the notes as toilet paper !


Do u know why they have Gandhi’s picture on the 500 Ruppee note. So that Bankers don’t staple pins over Gandhi’s head, and mutilate the notes. There was a time, when notes were physically counted in the banks , against the machines of today, and insptie of the RBI warnings, the bankers used to staple 3 or 4 pins , making the opening of the bundle a battle, nay war, for we had to use a knife, stapler and all weapons topry open the bundles, leading to blood oozing out many a times, and going for a tetanus injection to save our lives !


So to discourage cashiers from stapling the bundles, the RBI started to use Mahatma Gandhi’s [pictures on the notes, so that the cashiers will be ashamed to slam Gandhiji with pins, but u know how we Indians are, we don’t care a damn, and the poor father of the nation suffered more wounds, after his death, than in real life !


The one and two rupee notes were a joy for the marriage Band people, for those notes were given during weddings and baraats, as most of u remember,but today even beggars don’t accept them, they have moved up the ladder of success, remember India Shining ? some of the rascals now demand 5/- or more.I once gave a one rupee note to a beggar, at the signal, and he had the termity to give it back to me, saying give me a coin, this one is tattered.What did he think, that I would wash press and clean thenote, and give him ? Beggars can be choosers in Rajasthan surely !


In 1979, just before I shifted to jaipur, the Governement of India overnight banned the 1000 Rupee notes and the 10000 notes. Yes there were 10000 ruppe notes then .This news was out on the 9 pm Vivek Bharati news that from midnight, the notes will not be valid.

Now those days, even today maybe, there used to be some late night branches of Govt Banks, open till midnight, I don’t know about now, and they were flooded with more than a 100 crores with these big notes, in the 3 hours since the news came on the radio! Smart people we have eh !


The 10,000 notes were used as wall papers by people, and the 1000/- notes day one was 950 bucks, all the Zaveri Bazar , Mumbai, Jewellery shops closed down, and they had boards outside their shops blackboards, with 950 written on it so it meant u take a 1000 note and get 950, and this dwindled down to 200 or so after a week.


I am sure most of u must be remembering this, and I used to pass this area often, and used to wonder then, tht to make money, to what lengths people go to. Ingenious Gujeratis really who did all this. They showed these as sales, of the days gone by.


As they say, a Mithai wala, who makes sweets and sells, he hates the sights of sweets for he sees them day in and day out, and is put off them. Same way, why are the Bank cashier’s not put off money, when they handle money day in and day out ! should they not say, Paisa haath ka mail hai, aaj mera , kal tera, and distribute all their salary to the the first fellow they see on the streets, instead of going on strikes every now and then, for a pay rise ? Why don’t they learn something, form the mithai wala ?


And there is another school of thought that says Money brings in misery, like the Lodha /Birla case, money brings in thieves, and Income tax fellows to yr house, so dear friends , why don’t u give me yr miseries and money to me, after all what are friends for !


Chew that over, and send me a note if u want to send me money, and I will give u my Bank details, and also send u blessings free of charge !!!

What i wont do for Friends !


KAMAL MAHTANI


Waqt pe Adaat Na Badli, to Zaroorat ban Jati Hai
Waqt pe Girl friend na Badli, to Biwi Ban Jati Hai !!!

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On a tip off, police reached the house of Santa Singh

Police " Suna hai aap ke ghar koi Visphotak ( Expolsive) cheez hai

santa - Sir who to abhi Maike Gayee hui hai !!!


Daaru Se Nasha Badhta hai,
Nashe mein Junoon,
Junoon se Mehnat,
Mehnat se Paise,
Paise se Izzat,
So who addmi izzatdar hai jo Daru peeta hai. Cheers !!!

 

Dear TL

I dont want u to get sick that bank cashier u talk about. i want ur hands to reamin healthy, that uis wy i request u to send me over yr money and diseases, :biglaugh

I find everything humourous in life TL, wht to do about this disease.HAHA

Regards

kamal