Case of the irregular bowel movement - Kalyanathil Galatta -6

Dear All,
Greetings!
Here I am with one more episode of my "Kalyanathil Galatta" series.
Most of you would be familiar with my below stories. These stories, excepting the first and last one, describe some misunderstandings between the sambandhis or ego clashes normally reffered to as 'sambandhi sandai' (SS) threatening the conduct of marriage and asto how the situation got resolved.

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/snippets-of-life-non-fiction/63826-kalyanamam-kalyanam.html
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/snippets-of-life-non-fiction/77419-kalyanaththil-galatta.html
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/snippets-of-life-non-fiction/77811-neer-enna-periya-idhuva-k.html
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/s...iction/77885-mappillai-murukku-or-was-it.html
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/s...ction/77944-koora-pudavaya-k-galatta-4-a.html
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/s...alyanaththil-galatta-5-thailamba-mamiyin.html

A word on 'sambandhi sandai' ( sambandhi fight) : Ego clashes bound to occur whereever there is a gathering of people, more so when they are made to stay together for a couple of days. Marriage is one such occasion. Worser still is the case in Tamil marriages where the grooms party considers themselves superior and expects the bride's side to bend backwards to please their every whims.
Invariably in many of the olden day marriages, such clashes originated from some characters (who mattered in groom's family) out to settle personal scores or to show off their importance. In fact, these situations can not be described as 'sandais' (fights) as mostly they were onesided, with groom's side going on the offence and bride's family trying its level best to diffuse the tension by yielding to various demands helplessly or till a good samaritan turns up to usher in some settlement between the groups. Ofcourse there were few odd incidents where groom's side were at the receiving end also, as in the case in "'Mappillai Murukku!' or was it ....." story but such cases were very rare.
Presumably, due to lack of any other entertainment, these episodes got discussed later on in family gossips as to how 'heroic' (or 'villanous' as the case may be) a particular character had been in demanding / ensuring justice. This is how many such episodes came to be known to subsequent generations, by word of mouth. In the process many a times these stories 'grew ears & noses' (got exaggerated) as times passed on.
Be that as it may, for now, below is one such 'word of mouth' story where one man's irregular bowel movement lead to SS that almost stopped a marriage.
Enjoy if you can!
Anbudan,
Rrg

Ps: But nowadays many such clashes take place at more subtler levels. More about it in another story

Case of the irregular bowel movement - Kalyanathil Galatta -6​

Year : long ago - may be in early 1950s

Those days, marriages lasted 3 days. Major rituals spread over these days as follows:
First day : vradam, naandi (homage to ancestors), janavasam, nischayathartham.
Second day : kasi yatrai, garland exchange, oonjal, muhurtham (including kannigadhanam/ panikgrahanam), nalangu, reception, consummation (subject to approval of groom's parents - would try to post a story on it later pl)
Third day : paaligai karaiththal with kummi, kattusadam. (Sambandhi sappadu - return feast from groom's side to bride's relatives).

The marriage we are going to particilpate now, was being performed in a town near Kumbakonam. As planned, groom's family arrived on the early morning of firstday itself. Normally, the girl's side collects inside info on trouble makers (TM) on the groom's side thro their village gossip and nominate specific markers for checking / neutralising their free-play, as in the case of football. Thus, every effort is made to nip the issues in the bud, preventing them from escalating to SS levels.

In the present case, groom's Athimber (GA - aunt's husband) was identified as a potential TM. As per grapevine, he was keen on the groom marrying his daughter, but got over ruled by groom's father. He was smarting from that snub and waiting for an opportunity to explode.

From the bride's side Sambu mama, a Head Master of a nearby town school and a cousin of bride's mother was nominated as chief trouble shooter / coordinator with groom's side. PAlso, brides younger brother(BB) was given specific responsibility to mark GA closely and report any developments to Sambu mama.

The first day passed off peacefully. Nothing untoward.
Late on that day, after dinner, GA called BB and asked for some tablets like Purgolax ( laxative famous thosedays). He complained of constipation of 2 days and wanted BB to get the tablets from some pharmacy nearby. It was quite late in the evening and there was no possibility of any pharmacy being open. GA was allergic to the idea of 'nattu medicine' (desi medicine) and was very particular about allopathic medicine only. This matter came to Sambu mama. He was unperturbed and assured he had a different allopathic medicine for it. He went inside and came up with a small 'pottalum' (packet) containing half a spoon of some powder. He gave it to BB for passing on to GA for immediate consumption. He also arranged with head-cook for giving GA one glass of hot milk with a table spoon full of castor oil, well mixed. (Castor oil well mixed in hot milk will not emanate the odour or taste. Only the oil floating on top will be seen). Further, he ensured to send a flask full of hot water to GA for consumption early next morning, on waking up. GA was not very pleased but accepted all the same, due to the chronic state of his constipation.

Next morning GA did have a good clearance and was very pleased. He was keen to know what the medicine was? On his pestering, BB took him to Sambumama. It was then it came to light that the powder that was given was mere chalk powder. It also transpired that Sambu mama happened to notice GA consuming a few plaintains after dinner the previous day. So he thought its combined effect with hot milk & castor oil and the morning dose of hot water could do the trick. So, it had.

GA was not pleased. He started shouting that he had been cheated. If the girl's family could resort to cheating in such a small matter like a tablet, 'what it could do later on' was his argument. He demanded the marriage with such undeserving family be stopped forthwith. Sambu mama's explanations that he was compelled to give chalk powder in view of GA's insistance for allopathic drug and that there was no way of getting one with no pharmacy open' fell in deaf ears. Bride's parents were in tears. Groom's parents were also sympathetic but were helpless in the face of onslaught by GA. Both appealed to Sambu mama to somehow placate GA and ensure the conduct of marriage.

Sambu mama suddenly thundered as only school HMs could do.
"Look mister. What do you think you are doing? You,were crying hoarse whole of yesterday that your bowels were choked due to constipation. You were polluting the atmosphere left, right & centre throughout the day, without any concern for others. Infact, I felt the brunt of your attack sitting next to you for dinner. Be that as it may, I took pity on you and gave you some treatment that had worked. You should feel happy & thank me for it. Instead you are threatening to stop the marriage of our girl. How dare you? You think you can stop this marriage and marry off your daughter to the groom? Try if you can. If that happens, I will go after you hammer & tongs. Your son has just joined Police force as constable or SI or something, isn't it ? You know Paramaguru, IPS, who was posted in Kumbakonam earlier and now an IG? He is well known to me. I will certainly report your meanness to him and ensure your son is kicked out of police force for your sins. Better behave now or face the consequences. Anycase, don't ever dream you could stop this marriage. Understand"

The entire assembly was spell bound. Many came to know about GA's tummy ailment & its clearance only then. GA himself was embarrassed and withdrew to groom's room. He did not even want to turn up for muhurtham and was planning to leave with his wife forthwith. Realising the embarrassment that his departure, without being present for muhurtham, could cause to the groom's parents, Sambu mama went to GA and appologised for giving him chalk powder as medicine the previous night and volunteered to get Purgolax then & there.

Mollified, GA said " no need. Ippo ellam poyiduththu (now all have gone)."
" appo neenga pogalaye? (Then you are not going, no?)
Sambu mama quipped and both laughed together.:rotfl
(It is interesting to note that while GA meant his constipation having gone, Sambu mama twisted it to mean his anger disappearing. )

Don't ask me whether Sambu mama really knew Mr. Paramaguru IPS personally. Knowing him through other anecdotes, I doubt. Possibly, he might have come across the name in some news paper. The best part was that he had the info that GA's son had just joined police force in some junior cadre and used it effectively.
All is well that ends well, isn't it?


( PS : My mom would have recollected the incident much better. She was a great story teller and used to entertain us during bed times with her interesting stories / anecdotes. I have tried my best to build the scene with the scarce input that I had. Knew fully well that I am no match to mom. All the same, the limitted purpose was to give a feel of SSs in our marriages in the past. If you liked it, all credit to my mom. If you didn't, it reflects on my limitation in building a story. )


Cheers,
anbudan,
Rrg
07th Oct'14

 

Thanks Scorpio.
Pleased to note you enjoyed reading this post.
cheers,
rrg

 

Dear Jayasala,
Thanks for your feedback & also for sharing your thoughts.
Even today such SS take place but to a lesser extent. Infact, the 'koora pudavai' episode (link provided above) that I had written earlier took place in late 1990s that too in Chennai city only. But, as you rightly said, people do not have much time for any such transgressions and that reduces possibilities of such SS getting escalated.
thanks once again.
cheers,
rrg

 

Dear Balajee,
Many thanks for your comments.
You are very right in that the groom's side was not the victors always.
I have also said that in the above post.
Quote:
Ofcourse there were few odd incidents where groom's side were at the receiving end also, as in the case in "'Mappillai Murukku!' or was it ....." story but such cases were very rare.
Unquote:
But, you will agree that the girl's side was at the receiving end in many of the SS, mainly due to the bride's parents bending backwards to ensure safe conducting of the marriage of their daughter. This was especially so in the earlier days, the period to which these episodes refer to.
Also, thanks for sharing a SS where the bride's side was successful.
cheers,
rrg

 

Thanks Malstrom for your FB. Pleased to note you enjoyed the post.
These fracas were not restricted to good old days only.
I have few of present day Galattas in marriage as well - not necessarily SS but between members of the same party. Would post them in a seperate thread soon.
cheers,
rrg