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Caring for disabled husband

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by fatafat, Jan 8, 2013.

  1. fatafat

    fatafat New IL'ite

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    My husband became disabled 8 years ago with transverse myelitis and was partially paralyzed from the waist down. He has issues with bladder, bowel, sex, mobility (legs & spine), pain etc. He had back problems prior to this and surgeries. My problem is I cared for him 24/7 for approximately the first 3 years and for the past 5 years he has no interest in me at all. There is no coming to bed, no intimacy, I have to think for both of us because most of the time he just isn't mentally with it, I think due to the medication. I feel so lonely and don't want to have an affair, but I have tried everything and I do not want to spend the rest of my life like this and the guilt is what kills me. We have been married for 25 years and had 4 great children who are now grown and it is just him and I and I am extremely lonely. Any suggestions on how I can move on with my life without hurting him.
     
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  2. sudhakrishna

    sudhakrishna Gold IL'ite

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    Dear madam, you are doing great job for these years. You both can listen to music ( any form of interest). Because it is the best Medicine for mental stress
     
  3. n2n

    n2n Senior IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    You are doing a great job. Taking care of him 24x7 is not at all an easyjob. Don't think that he has lost interest in you. He may be emotionally down. Maybe his physical weakness and pain make him feel low. Spend more time with him.Listen to music. Initiate more talks. Encourage him. Hope you will see thechanges soon...

    Take care.

    Prayers & love
     
  4. sweety17

    sweety17 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear op,

    kudos to you!! i think you hubby is ignoring you on purpose, not that he's lost interest in you. He's doing like that coz probably he wants you to move on and not get stuck with him. I feel more than feeling bad about his physical condition, he is bothered that you are stuck coz of him. Generally people at that stage tend to react that way.

    i think you should try to get him engaged into some activities he used to be interested in, or listen to music. watch light hearted shows, comedy shows. hopefully there will be changes soon...
     
  5. sachinsharma

    sachinsharma Bronze IL'ite

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    Try to make things live around you..watch movies comedy and romantic..listen to music..if it is possible then go to nearby places..your husband is unwell so it is difficult for him to be intimate..but dont think that he doesnt love you...if he has loved you since 25 years then he still loves you...
     

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