Care Of Old Parents In Dysfunctional Families

agree 100%.

"never help anyone beyond 12"
Why help until 12? Why to have children in the 1st place? Then, there is no need for any help. Not every one is ready or fit to be parents. Having a child is indeed a big responsibility, time consuming and not to mention very expensive.

When parents nurture the children and raise them with love, children develop a bond. Children love their parents and they want to take care of their parents. On the other hand, parents have an obligation to the children for bringing them into this world and not vice versa.

The problem arises when parents demand or try to control their grown adult children or putting burden of financing the rest of their brood that they produced irresponsibly or whatever is done is never enough.

The population explosion is due to the fact that children were produced so that they can be cared for in the old age if not by one, by the other.

 

The husband may be emotionally torturing the wife inside the house.
Who knows.
Most good wives don't open up about husbands abuse to outsiders.
Why didn't the perfect man seek treatment for his wife for her mental issues

 

Perfectly put. In a perfect world, one wishes that children would take the utmost care of the parents. This cannot be treated by the parents as an 'old age insurance plan', though.

Sure, having brought the children into the world, the parents have a duty and responsibility to support the children until they are able to fend for themselves. To make this like what it is in the West viz. the children earn for themselves or take a loan to put themselves through school/college, we will need some sweeping reforms in our social, educational and economic systems.

It is often the parents who want to get their children, especially daughters 'married off' at the 'right' age, make a big show and dance of the wedding and horrendously enough the show quotient is getting not only higher but 'sickeninger' if I might be allowed to coin that word. Let us not talk of the girls coming from urban backgrounds. What about daughters from smaller towns and rural settings? Do they have the liberty to refuse a proposal? Do they have the liberty to refuse to marry until they see fit to do so? Do they have the liberty to decide what kind of a wedding it is going to be? Not to turn a blind eye to the other extreme of daughters who demand filmy weddings.

The scenario is too complex and one needs to start unravelling from somewhere. If parents would restrict their expenses to putting the children on their own feet, cut out all the additional social drama of proving their 'worth and status' to all and sundry, they would save a sizeable sum for their own old age. If they would treat their daughters and dils well, chances are that they would be looked after very well too.

 

One can only do one's best to consciously raise them well, but am sure EVERY generation has its gripes (expressed or otherwise) against the parents and vice versa. Never a perfect situation. Does not preclude mutual affection and concern, though.

 

In a perfect world, parents provide a happy childhood for their children.
Parent's behavior has a long lasting impact on a child.

Not only you provide for them to the best of your abilities, teach them right from wrong, to be compassionate yet strong and motivated, teach them survival skills and to let them know you are always there for them.

What ever happened to the pure unconditional love? You do things because you love without expecting a return? Unexpected return is the gift of your love.

 

I absolutely agree with you on above statements of you.

As a parent I can accept above statement but as a daughter I can't agree. It is children responsibility to taking care of parents in their old age because they had given the opportunity to the children to enter in to this world and enjoy this life. At least as a human we can't ignore the parents when they really need affection and care.

 

Why have children?
There is no law that everyone must have children.

There is a dignity in being independent for which one has to plan for their old age.

 

This sums it up all. Be Human no matter what

 

True, that is why I said 'if', meaning it is not a perfect world. Therefore one cannot automatically take it for granted that every kid will take care of the parents - willingly or otherwise.

 

Having been in the situation, I took it as my responsibility, my opportunity as well as privilege to be in a position to take care of my parents (however imperfectly). It was done with complete love and affection. But that was because my parents had gone way beyond the call of duty. Love attracts the same response.

Having said that, parents cannot demand or assume that they will be taken care of - no more than any child can take parental love for granted (even if they should be able to). There are a lot of variables which bring about totally different outcomes.