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Can't understand which one is more important Physical Beauty or Inner Beauty?????

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by daisy2015, Sep 5, 2015.

  1. daisy2015

    daisy2015 Platinum IL'ite

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    From childhood days I have heard people saying it many times at various occasions that inner beauty is more important than the physical beauty. After hearing it so many times I started believing those words. Days went by but my opinion remained the same until I saw that outer beauty occupies major place in most of the people's opinion.

    I faced this disturbing fact when I went to my cousin's house for holidays and came to know that many prospective grooms have rejected her just because she has wheatish skin color. I was shocked to hear this. At first I thought they were telling lies but when on one occasion when I literally saw this with my own eyes and heard the words with my own ears I was dumbstruck.

    How can any one reject some one for their color? It is something we are born with and can't change it even if we want to. Aren't they aware of it? Ofcourse they are. Then why hurt someone like that? Are all the good qualities that our parents inculcated in us from our childhood mean nothing before this outer beauty? When a girl can compromise on so many things why can't boys do the same?

    This was not the only time that I saw someone rejecting a girl for her color and outward appearance. It happened to friends,their friends and even relatives.

    Why is outward appearance given that much importance when we know that it will fade away with time, Where as the inner beauty keeps increasing with age and experiences?

    I am not saying that every person is like that but most of the people are giving beauty more importance than character.


    Pardon me if am wrong or have hurt your feelings. This is just an experience which I wanted to share with my friends here.
     
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  2. rohsiK

    rohsiK Gold IL'ite

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    Physical beauty may not define character, whereas inner beauty does that so its obvious never go solely by appearance..
    But in general, humans(We) always have a tendency towards parlous things, the same applies to this beauty thing too...
     
  3. katochsimi

    katochsimi Gold IL'ite

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    this is sad but true..

    "jo dikhta hai vo bikata hai"...that is why all marketing tacts they do with products to sell.

    we as human also have adopted same mentality. atleast IMO i think that the person should be judged with the qualities he/she has. what to do with looks when person is nothing inside (Values/culture/manners/commonsense)??

    if we take recent and hot topic today so Indraini looks dam smart and who will not die to marry her (in fact many married too).but what is happening with them all today.??

    but i feel it is equally important that atleast one should have some looks (not very smart) but presentable to someone.
    now it depends on the person how to do it. even dark complexion have bright features which can be admired.

    even when HR recruit someone first see the CV then decide to call for interview, same applies in arrange marriage. but yes i feel so sorry for your friend. and that bridegroom side would have seen photo first. why the hell then they came to waste both side peoples time??
     
  4. daisy2015

    daisy2015 Platinum IL'ite

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    Even I didn't understand till date why people come and reject the girl when they know how they look through the photo sent to them. What is more astonishing is in all my experiences regarding friends or relatives one thing was common. The girl's parents have made it clear that their daughter is of wheatish complexion beforehand while sending the photo. It is a sad thing that girls face so many kinds of humiliations in this world.
     
  5. katochsimi

    katochsimi Gold IL'ite

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    true daisy. it is very insulting and no one has right to do that.
    but you know there are few rituals or culture is there we cannot help them sorting out. we know all the pros and corns but still have to follow because it has been carried since ages.
     
  6. daisy2015

    daisy2015 Platinum IL'ite

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    So true katochsimi. I wonder if they will ever change.
     
  7. paramlav

    paramlav Silver IL'ite

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    It's fact bad is attractive then good . Some how people are attracted to outer appearance but there are some who admires inner beauty of others . It depends on the person how they look into it.
     
  8. Salaswathi

    Salaswathi Senior IL'ite

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    Isn't "wheatish" a good color ? In the south (Chennai) we are dark people. For us, wheatish is a complimentary thing.
    Boys are generally darker than girls. No ?

    I dont see how boys can reject girls on colour difference. There could be other issues.

    Katochsimi in #4 said about marketing technique. Both sides in a marriage negotiation adopt this to some extent. If a girl is employed, she is a money tree, producing an ever increasing amount of money until she retires, and then she gets pension. If all of that is calculated to the current time, that would be the money-value of the joint venture. The same goes for the boy. They could see how many children they could support on that money flow.

    In many arrangments money is the primary concern. Looks and other talents (can socialize, keep house, decorate, sew, paint, crochet, etc.. ) are side issues, although they are brought up like a beauty-pageant.

    Even though they look at photo, I think the failure happens in the talent show portion of the beauty pageant. We see that often on television. When the boy and girl are allowed to talk together (during the girl-seeing meeting), they could mess things up, by talking about things that may have to wait, or saying very objectionable things to one another.
    I have noticed that non-obese people have a good chance to get through this stage. Doesnt matter about skin colour, bad overbite, not good hair-do, bad dress sense, and many other factors.

    Girls (and boys too) need to eat right, exercise, play some sports, and get enough sleep in their teens, and early twenties. If they do that, they will look nice even in bad clothes, appear full of energy, and then, they'd find their own match, and run away from home. Save a lot of money, and heart-pain for parents.
     
  9. surekhap

    surekhap Platinum IL'ite

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    if I show a jack fruit who have never tasted it he will say what is this is it a fruit? i don't want to taste it . why because he does not know its taste. if we show the same who have tasted it before he will be mouth watering by seeing it.
    so yes appearance does make a difference. no doubt inner beauty is eternal but it needs some time to show its colour. but single sight decides the external beauty.
    that's what happens in the indian marriage system. many of them marry for the looks after find the kicks in it........
    but never ready to learn from this mistakes .
    i pitty them. don't worry god might have kept chosen a wonderful humanbeing for her, who is lucky to have her.
     
  10. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Being attracted by physical appearance is a biological game at work. Survival of the fittest and the propogation of the best genes in Nature is what it is all about.

    As for knowing the inner beauty of a person, in our system where many marriages go the arranged way, where is the opportunity to know what a person is like. So what people see only what they do on the outside. A very shallow method, I agree, but then ......

    For that matter, women too go so much by the looks of the men .....
     
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