Cant tolerate anymore!

Friends,

I've been away for awhile now unable to digest certain things that has been happening in my life lately.

Like most of LI's I too had fair share of problems with my MIL and my DH's family. My DH didn't make things easy for me either. I have come to a point where I even thought about ending my marriage due to high level of stress.

My MIL and FIL divorced when my DH was just 10. FIL couldn't live with her anymore due to her constant nagging and materialistic attitude so he left her and married another women. He lived with that women till his death. MIL raised all her kids without the support of her ex and she did work hard to support them. Now she demands all kids to cherish her sacrifices by fulfilling all her materialistic needs.

She has done so many things which made me despise her to the core. I don't wish to talk about it all now.

Couple of months ago she took some money from her friends to organise trip to India.MIL also received commission for arranging the trip. My DH normally arranges everything for her trips , from booking the tickets and arranging the visa's. She gave my DH half of the money and kept' the rest!. My DH bought the tickets without knowing that his mother stole other people's money! When the time for trip approached, the people who didn't get their tickets began to call my DH and demand that he buy the ticket or refund the money. DH was shocked and told them that he bought tickets for everyone without knowing what his mother did.

When DH found out what she did. He became so depressed and panicked. We didn't know what to do as we didn't have the amount to pay the people. We tried everywhere to borrow money but nothing worked. Finally I begged my parents to help. This created a huge problem in my family as my brothers accused me of taking advantage of our parents. I had no choice but to swallow my pride and borrow from my parents. I told my DH never to get involved in his mothers problem ever again after going through what we did.

Last week, when I tried to check my DH's bank account online , I couldn't log in the account as my DH has changed the password. He refused to reveal his new password and we had a huge fight over this matter. When I threatened to leave him , he finally told me that he has been paying his brothers motorbike instalment as his brother lost his job and is heavily in debt. His mother asked my DH to pay his brothers debt. I felt sick after hearing this. I have been paying my parents the money that his money mother stole from other people while my DH pays his useless brothers debt!!!! He didn't bother about paying back my parents but only cares about helping his good for nothing brother.

I'm sick and tired of his family and I feel like my DH allows them to manipulate and use him. I don't want to spend my entire life working to pay their debt. I love my DH as he is a nice guy but I too have my limits. I even prayed the other day so that my MIL will die!!! That's how much I hate her....

Friends , what should I do?

 

TX Akanksha,

That's what I am doing right now. I can see bigger problem coming in. My useless BIL borrowed money from the loan shark. I hope he didn't use my DH's name as guarantor. In my country loan sharks are known to harass and some even resort to violence.

It s@cks when you are stuck with someone else's debt. Not worth it!!!

 

Update on MIL,

She joined the trip to India and is away for about 3 weeks now. Its a month long trip. I don't know what she did this time, I heard she borrowed money for the trip. And I know very well that she would demand my DH to pay the money that she owes people. (Its her third time visit to India)...

I've been married for almost 10 years now and never been to any holiday . My DH always say wait wait wait. Ive been waiting forever. Even my son grumbles now that he never gets to go anywhere......

I wonder why some man marry in the first place if the insist to give priority to their mothers. We the wife, need to sacrifice everything, our desire, our money, our future and importantly our age (I am not getting any younger)!!!.

Why don't they stick to taking care of their mother and if they get bored or lonely...just get a puppy!!! Atleast it will spare the wife's misery!

Sorry guys, just venting my anger here. I am getting sick and tired with my marriage. Feel like a working maid cum slave to my DH and MIL!

 

I have missed a big part of my life . Im not far away from reaching 40. As I evaluate my life for the past 10 years, I can count the days I was truly happy. Most of the time I would be thinking about how to solve my family problem and none of those problem were caused by me.

Its school holidays now and I can see how my son would eagerly wait for his parents to bring him out. He would ask and when we tell him about the financial difficulties. He would just keep quiet and play his games till he goes to sleep. Now days he don't even asks as he knows the answer. I hate to put him in such situation!!! I truly do. I work but I cant do anything for my son or me! Believe me I'm teary eyed right now thinking about my sons childhood. He wont be a child forever! Gosh I hate my life and the people who make us miserable!

I think man who cant afford to give their wife or kids a decent life should not get married!! If they wish to repay their parents for their sacrifice , go ahead but don't do it in expense of your wife!

@yellowmango and workout....I cant plan anything for my kid . I've done many times, save up some money and plan a short trip but as usual my plans will go down the drain . I don't have control over my own money.

My own brother went to India for holiday last week and he came back this morning. This MIL of mine was away for so long and god knows when she will be back. My boy and I need to sacrifice for a 62 year old woman's lust! I don't understand, how come she still has so much needs at her age while I can control my dream and desires to suit my family needs? My own mother has given up materialistic needs years and years ago and she says when we get older, the family that matters and looking after grandchildren is a blessing at her age.....

 

Thank you yellowmango,

My DH is nice guy and his weakness is he cant say no to his family. I realised lately that being nice isn't enough and you cant run a family with being nice man alone. We started our life with a lot of commitment on his side. It was my mistake that I didn't see how his commitment over his family would one day rob my happiness. Its always about money, not enough of it to sustain everything in his life. His work needs money as he travels a lot , his mother is a day time robber and his siblings are problematic people. He never did worry about his debts as he know there is a useless loser like me to back him up.


I did plan something for my son and hope to bring him out before the fat monster MIL comes back. Its just a train ride. My kid has never taken a train and he always get excited if he see the train. And the son of my MIL is strictly forbidden to follow us. Let him go on a cow ride with his fat momma!