I took this out of the thread for Jenita because Jenita's case is one extreme and probably tip of the iceberg of the domestic harrasment problem. This is an attempt understand the severity of the problem, especially in US. In the last 3 months, I came across atleast 5 such cases, where the groom is NRI --- gets married---- harrasses wife (for money or for relationships etc)--- wife either gets depressed, commits suicide or she is driven away from home. We have several cases on this forum, CMIT is an example. Now that I am out of such a relationship, retrospectively, I cannot stop wondering: how did I ignore such blatant red signals about the harrassment in my life? The simple answer is, I thought that is life; because I did not talk to anyone..........I did not interact with too many families very closely, avoided all the kitty parties because they GOSSIP, and my duty is to work this marriage one way or the other - Just like a frog in the well. Here, I should say a little about me, I am an outgoing, independet person with good career and good social relationships. Despite of all these qualities, I failed miserably in acknowledging the red flags........ why? Probably, because I did not discuss about my problems with my family or friends : (1) I thought they would feel bad for not being able to help, they do not need more stress in life (2) every time I was in a bad situation, I pacified myself saying this is just a passing phase and treated it as isolated incident (did not add up all my previous incidents). Having said that, about the problem per se-- In India, the 498a law is keeping much of the domestic violence in check (atleast in the educated families). However, things are different in US --- these NRI men feel they are free.......no fear of family, friends, law, society. BTW, the 498a.org is absolute BS site, by men that feel they should defend themselves.....and feel they are always right. I feel it takes a lot for a woman to come out of the shell of being in a complete family, and file a case against her husband and family members. If the men and their families were more receptive to her complains before she filed 498a, she would not have filed it. ..... very simplebonk My analysis with the few cases I followed suggests that, the different ways some indian women are harrassed in US are: 1) Most common is financial (it may not be called dowry all the time, neverthelss money related) 2) relationships: I think the expectations from a DIL increase by leaps and bounds when they are in US. The harrassment gets to the DIL as she is alone without support. In India, women tend to have a lot of social support both from family and friends. In US, the relationships are very superficial (this is a general statement). In addition, because of the lifestyle most women end up with no life of their own, they are busy taking care of family and work (if they are working). This leads to a routine life without introspection into their own life and personality. My question: Can we do something for such women? Is it possible for IL'ites in every city to come together and form a "women group",..... through kitty parties etc, that would give most women a forum to "gossip" about their life (I used dislike this word, but now I am starting to appreciate it, because it helps to introspect your life......In a way counselling yourselves). Most of the 498a cases are leading nowhere because of the lawyers in both countries. The men in US, feel as long as they are in US nobody can touch them. Can we compaign for some sort of support from US government to help with the Indian goverment arrest warrants/summons?