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Can we attend condolences with kids?

Discussion in 'Queries on Religion & Spirituality' started by swasa, Jan 16, 2010.

  1. swasa

    swasa Senior IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    Didn't know where else to post this question. Dear Moderator, please move this post to appropriate sub-category if needed.

    There is a debate between me and my husband regarding this issue- I want to go to a friend's home to console her today as they had a sudden death in the family in India (we and friend are in US) but my husband is saying that its against custom to take kids to condolences(now my friends home is not a funeral home or mourning home!) that too on a friday evening! I say that our kids(age 4,2) are too young to understand all this(elders crying etc if happens) so no problem and also we cant keep them at any other's place for that time as we dont have any friends or relatives living nearby.

    Please let me know if there is really such a custom NOT to take kids for condolences. I really need an answer ASAP since I cant call home in India and ask any elders at this moment(Its midnight there).

    Ofcourse I also appreaciate answers later as this will be a reference for me for future, God forbid.

    Thankyou All
     
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  2. Vimmala

    Vimmala Senior IL'ite

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    For visit to a house to share sorrow avoid attending them with kids up to age of 21.

    If it is close blood relation you can take them.
     
  3. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I don't see anything wrong in taking children, irrespective of age, for funerals. They should be prepared before hand for the scene. After all, they should be face to face with the realities of life so if it starts from an young age, they will know how to behave also. Keralites take their children to funerals and make the children pay respects to the departed too. This will erase any fear they have about dead bodies too. Like birth, death is also a natural occurance and there should not be any lieing in this matter.
    When today's children learn to operate the computer by age 2, are allowed to ride two wheelers by age 9 and learn to drink by age 16, what is wrong in going to a funeral?
    Vimmala, I have not heard about such restriction in attending funerals.
     
  4. sashikalaa

    sashikalaa New IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    It is not necessary to take the children for attending the condolences of neighbours/friends, if they are below 5 years. Of course, if the children are in teens, we should make them to come along with us for condolences and to learn general courtesies. Because most of the teans I have seen in my relations' house, they will not even come out of their rooms to say 'hai' to the guests.
     

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