can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd one

abinayamadhavan · Feb 2, 2015

Hello All,

I am carrying my second baby (4th month just started). we had plans of tonsuring my son who is 2.2 yrs now on jan. later our parents has told no as i am pregnant. Even they checked with some elders. They all said no till delivery.

Is there reason behind this. i am worried as he will be joining school in june with this hair(long). i am upset on what to do. they don't allow me to cut his hair also. please pour some ideas.

Also once without telling anyone i cut his hair in the front and the same day he fell down and cut his lower lips. Later in dec, i cut his hair and after 10 days he fell down and deep cut on lower lips. i know by saying htis i am superstituous. But i can't see him suffering at any cost. Give me some positive inputs on how to approach.

My only worry is all kids will come to school neatly. but my son's hair won't be good as it is curly and long

Rakhii · Feb 3, 2015

Re: can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd o

OP, the main reason (as far as I know) elders say not to host any functions during pregnancy is because they are afraid the carrying mother would stress with the preparations and all. What reason did they tell you for not cutting the hair? Can you make it a small affair instead of making it grand?
Have you told them that instead of shaving the head, you just want to cut it if they are dead against shaving?

I don’t know about you but in our family, we just look for good dates based on the birth star and get the ceremony done.

ramyaramani · Feb 4, 2015

Re: can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd o

At the end of the day, no matter what we say, you have to be in understanding with what your family wants. Kids are not worried about their looks. At this age they don't understand the difference. We did head shave for my daughter just before she started school. I was so worried for her. But she told everyone that no one should touch her hair cut. It made me realize I was unnecessarily worrying about this.

Saisakthi · Feb 4, 2015

Re: can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd o

@abinayamadhavan Sister

As far as my knowledge goes and to be more practical, take a special day and pray (at home) to the Lord or Goddess where usually the Tonsure happens take a vow with few coins tied in an yellow cloth (white cloth dipped and dried in turmeric) as per your customs, offer pooja and neivedya, that your family will reach as soon as possible and have the young one's hair offered at the temple, in the meanwhile please keep the kid under thy care for having hair cut, due to circumstances that is best known to the God/Goddess.

Actually Sister @Rakhii is right, these customs were made so that the mom to be dosent exert herself with these functions, in the long run it turned out to be strict.

This is my personal experience for my nephew, just sharing in case you would want to think on these lines. But elders are elders you may have to handle them tactfully.

May baba guide you to take the best decision, Keep us updated.

SAIRAM

abinayamadhavan · Feb 4, 2015

Re: can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd o

Thanks all for your kind words.

we also see a good day based on the birth star and conduct any function.

My parents as well as inlaws are strictly saying no. i and my hubby are planning to cut his hair slightly in house before he goes to school.

generally my hubby doesn't beliv in these. but this time, since i am carrying he is kind of hesitant. Hence i am staying calm. I am hoping that it will happen at the right time with god's grace

Harini73 · Feb 4, 2015

Re: can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd o

Hi,

I also tonsured my baby girls head at the age of 3 as like you even our family members objected till 3 years.
In your case at least you are pregnant, but in my case my co sisters were pregnant one after another and my grandmother and my ILs did not allow us to tonsure my babies hair.

But as saisakthi madam suggested we prayed to Lord Ganesh and Thrawbathi Amman (Kula theivayam) took a vow with few coins tied in an yellow cloth (white cloth dipped and dried in turmeric) , offered puja and prayed that our family will reach as soon as possible and offer my baby girl hair at the temple.

Then we cut hair two times before head tonsure. So you may also try to do the same.

seekingbless · Feb 4, 2015

Re: can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd o

i was 4 months pregnant too when we tonsured our elder son for the 3rd time. he was about 18 months and we have practice of 3 times tonsure and no cutting in between. we consulted our family priest and he said there's nothing wrong with it.

abinayamadhavan · Feb 4, 2015

Re: can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd o

@seekingbless : nice to hear rituals are strange. i left that plan, bcoz if we tonsure now, whatever happens later they all will blame me

sanjuruby3 · Feb 4, 2015

Re: can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd o

@abinayamadhavan

I think this is the right decision. I normally do not believe in all this but when pregnant we get more superstitious and do not want to do any thing that might cause any harm or better say do not lose any opportunity to have little luck.

and if god forbid, something happens, we will never be able to forgive ourselves.

abinayamadhavan · Feb 5, 2015

Re: can tonsure be done for my 2 years 2 months old boy, while i am carrying my 2nd o

exactly.. i have understood that fact. it will all happen automatically in the right itme