can this sort of relation be considered for marriage?

ivlakshmi · Feb 22, 2016

My cousin (mom's brother's son) married a girl. She is same caste as us but from different sub caste and different gotra. We came to know that the girls brother is also a divorcee.
Since the girl will become sister as per my relationship with cousin (my cousin is like younger brother in law) . Her brother might also become my brother in relation ship. So marriage might not be possible keeping this in consideration with the divorcee guy.
I casually told about this to one of my friend saying that i lost a good match. She happened to tell me that Since there is no blood relation ship between the guys family and us , my parents gotra being different this match can be considered.

Though we have not spoken to anyone about this proposal or nothing has happened I wanted to ask if far away relations like this can be considered for marriage? I have missed one more match like this where the guy is actually a far away relation. More far away than the above mentioned relation. Please advice.

sarajara · Feb 22, 2016

dear lakshmi,

In some cases relationships like this are considered to be alright as the cousins spouse is not any of your relations.

The elders of the house needs to tell about this kind of alliances.. i mean the grandparents. What do they say?

Regards,
savietha.

generic · Feb 22, 2016

I think you can proceed as there is no blood relation between u and prospective groom..also it's better to pursue marriage alliance from a known family..your cousin can give the reference about the boy and his family as he knows them well..of course I have not taken into account if there is any family opposition to this..so many of my relatives have married within same family circle, I.e second cousin, third cousin , aunt's relative etc etc..as long as there is no close blood relation I don't foresee any issue.

swt.charu · Feb 22, 2016

In our families we do not consider our cousin's wife as sister ... she is a SIL and hence SIL's brother is not my brother..

I know there are families which work the way you have described... so only your elders in the family can clarify..

my personal feeling is your can go ahead with this alliance

Ragini25 · Feb 22, 2016

In our families, cousin wife is like sister, and this (her brother) will be considered as equivalent of a Brother-Sister relationship with you. Hence marriage is not possible. But it depends on how elders/customs in each caste/community - if elders consider this as brother-sister equivalent, then marriage is disallowed in sibling-like relationship. Consult elders to verify practices in your community setting.

msindu · Feb 22, 2016

In a orthodox South Indian hindu family this would not be accepted but scientifically it is accepted and there is no law against this. Nowadays, people don't really care because they don't understand this entire concept. I do not know about North India but in South India your Mother's Brother's son = your brother-in-law and his wife = your sister. So her brother = your brother so it does not make any sense.

Durga18 · Feb 22, 2016

I think it's ok to proceed as there is no blood relation. I have seen many people getting married like this in my relatives and they are happy now. But every family is different. Everyone has their own set of rules. So it's always good to do what elders in your family says.

coolgal123 · Feb 22, 2016

i am from north india and in north its ok as you dont share any blood relationship and your cousin's wife would be your sil not sister....
it is also ok scientifically and legally...