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Can This Be Called As An Act Of Abuse?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by silentlistener, Sep 18, 2018.

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  1. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Try to understand your Mom's situation too and talk to her about if she feels any financial.abuse .....
    as her Husband does not discuss or consult her , but simply declares that he decided to send such a big amount from livelong savings .
    They are retirement age people so she may feel insecure in giving away.a huge amount .
    No good spouse will say know if the other is helping his family in genuine need. She might have been calm and supportive if he had discussed with her first as an equal partner.

    After all as a marrired couple, the lifelong savings .. its not his money or her money but their joint money . Taking unilateral decision and telling her after finding bank details is not correct .

    Both are abusing each other one can say . Luckily they have a son like u to give huge amount of money to others on their behalf. If possible.try to resolve their conflicts .
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
  2. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    Perhaps, mom thinks she owns your father and everything only belongs to her ....
    It is not just abuse, she has made him feel as nobody ....
     
  3. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    Shanvy,Rihana I really appreciate your clarity in the thought process :)
    stunning !
     
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  4. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    The father is also wrong if he thinks he owns all the savings and can take unilateral.decision about giving away such huge amount at their retirement age as everything belongs to him only .

    By taking unilateral.decision , finding bank details and then declaring to her , he is the one who made the life partner feel as a nobody even after dedicating herself to the family for so many years .

    I feel she would have been more supportive if he treated her as a Partner and consulted her before deciding to give away a huge part of lifelong savings .
     
  5. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    She sure knows how to control him by throwing temper tantrum. That is no partnership ...
     
  6. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Definitely her behaviour is wrong and abusive . But It is probably her last resort m as clearly her husband does financial abuse because she is a woman and "non working " person .I'm not defending behaviour just explaining . I wish both of them can change and stop being abusive to each other and lead peaceful life .
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
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  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Hope the son is discussing with his wife too before sending the money.:)
     
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  8. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    I know ... Somewhere I feel the dad has indirectly passed on his burden to the son . Ofcourse son had no option because the dad is helpless . If son is financially capable then fine otherwise a parent should avoid their children having to pay for their generosity .
    If it's a huge amount of money as said , hopefully the son will do better to discuss with his life partner and not follow his dad's methods.
     
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  9. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Well , no use speculating .... Ultimately money to his sister has been paid for , and that's all that matters .
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
  10. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you, guys. The very intention of starting this thread is, I wanted to hear this, at least from a few members.

    The purpose of starting this thread is totally served to me.
     
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