1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Can Cosisters Ever Be Friends/best Friends?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Patientone, Jun 8, 2021.

  1. Sreevidyaa

    Sreevidyaa Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    Mostly no nowadays. I don’t have personally now after having burnt myself after believing and trusting for a while. They are self centred atleast in my experience and will be talking nicely in front.
     
    anika987 and Hopikrishnan like this.
  2. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,293
    Likes Received:
    1,504
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Depends.
    One of my cousin is staying in joint family with BIL and cosister family. They have a good rapport and their kids have each other for company..but they live abroad away from in laws os that’s a plus point,
    But I personally feel that when two ladies share a common MIL it creates a certain competition , and some politics will always be there. Any unnecessary favouritism or partiality shown by MIL towards one of the DIL adds fuel to the fire.
    Many are opting to have cordial relations with BIL and cos sited without becoming too close, like meeting and greeting and wishing during festivals, special occasions etc.
    I think it’s very tough unless both are matured and on the same wavelength and can put aside ego to be friends despite being related as in laws.
     
    anika987 and Thyagarajan like this.
  3. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,258
    Likes Received:
    1,307
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Isn't that civility ? diplomacy ? Good behavior ?
    This thread points to an old-pinned thread called Are We Completely Blameless?

    If the MIL is the ruler, this is called divide and rule method. Nothing new. If the co-sisters believed in the "co", they would form a cooperative union, and fight for fair treatment by the boss.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2021
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  4. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,293
    Likes Received:
    1,504
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Many MILs follow divide and rule to gain superiority..mostly with their DILs but sometimes with sons too...I.e while living in one som’s home, praising that the other son is better..unfortunately it results in the two brothers and co sister s having unhealthy competition and jealousy toward each other...
     
  5. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    8,109
    Likes Received:
    11,789
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    I tried to be nice and she was too BUT I realized late that am the one who is adjusting and doing so much for them.

    Keep distance not just with co sister but with any relatives
     
    Sreevidyaa likes this.
  6. Sreevidyaa

    Sreevidyaa Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    No, there is a difference in this. Good behaviour means that what you speak remains with the people and not twist the conversations according to their convenience and tell others. Being nice to gather information and as another poster told to backstab them by passing on the information to other in laws doesn’t count either as civility or even diplomatic or good behaviour. It counts as a calculated effort to gain information for their one benefit. Maybe a cunning way to get into the nice book of mother in law and others.

    When we know the true colours of individuals then we can be diplomatic and not reveal any of our opinions but maintain a distance just like in our workplace and other environments. No one is going to be diplomatic at home when they don’t know the nature of the person and especially they all try to make themselves at ease in such situations. It’s too late when they realise that they had been cheated and whatever diplomatic way the further relationships turn into are just going to fail as the initial cheating hits the relationship beyond repair.
     
    Hopikrishnan likes this.
  7. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,258
    Likes Received:
    1,307
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Yes; there are cosisters who can gather information, and there are cosisters who give up information. Who gains and who loses is the theme of so many TV serials that one would expect modern girls to be highly trained in how to deal with others in a family collective.
    Good analysis. The girls who marry and go into a new family collective imagining that they are in a safe place for free expressions tend to suffer the most. And those who are guarded until the know the environment survive well. And may even get along with cosisters.
     
  8. preeti6years

    preeti6years Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Everything mentioned here MIL divide and rule, back talking, extracting information and then playing nice etc etc has happened with us. As some poster said sadly most of us realise only when we burn our fingers very badly.
    I trusted her blindly inspite of many people warning me. Later I realised I realised what an emotional fool I was while on the other side it was only a need based link with zero emotions attached.
     

Share This Page