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Can a woman transform a man?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Mar 8, 2015.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Today is the International Womens’ Day and I decided to write about the women who made a big difference in my life. It is time for a flash back. I am happily married to her 31 years and in June we would get into 32[SUP]nd[/SUP] year together. What a journey it is. We have been through rough as well as nice times. I walked into the married life without knowing what to expect out of it like anyone else. But my married life has changed me for better. Can one person make so much difference in life?

    Can a woman transform a man in her life? I am proud to say “Yes” at this point of my life. She changed my life upside down. I was 29 years old when I married her and she was just 21 years old. I thought she was going to be an added responsibility to me. Little I realized that she is going to be with me to share my burdens and help me handle them.

    She has a great quality of not giving up on friendships or relationships under any circumstances. She creates long standing friendships that is intended for life. She is 8 years younger than me but she has a rock solid heart to bear the pain and sufferings. She has been a greatest motivator for me to pursue wonderful professional careers in my life. She thinks world of me and never thinks my skills are limited. When we accomplish something remarkable, she smiles quietly and shows her index finger at me for the accomplishment. She is a remarkable performer in the college; obtained an undergrad degree in Economics and a diploma in journalism with outstanding opportunities to pursue her career in Doordharsan, All India Radio and so on. She was doing her Masters in Economics at the time of our wedding and decided to discontinue pursuing full-time home-maker role. She is the only child for my parents-in-law raised with lot of love and affection. Her only expectation from me was love and nothing else. Her expectation was to lead a simple life where the love is the driving force. I was not an outstanding professional with wonderful career in life nor was I wealthy person at the time of our marriage. Her only hopes were her self-confidence and determination to succeed with me together.

    How can a person be so simple and contented in life? Her true happiness is to know that my son and I love her. She is very happy if two of us tell that what she made for dinner is extremely delicious. We surprised her by arranging a wonderful Mediterranean cruise in 2008 for our 25th wedding anniversary which she still remembers so happily. She also finds happiness in chanting Slokas all the time. When I turned to spirituality after hectic professional career, she encouraged me so much to dive deep into it. She showed me where to find happiness in life. She changed my life for good.

    Especially, her heart melts for people who are older, children and poor who are in need of help. How she treats people, whether it is someone who drives the vehicle for us or someone who cooks food for us or someone who cleans the house, is delightful to watch. She welcomes them with smiling face every day and make them as comfortable as possible at home. Even here in the US, when someone comes to fix our air-conditioner or dish-washer or any other plumbing or electrical problem, she would ensure they eat or drink something before they start their work or at least take a drink with them. She had volunteered more number of hours to take care of sick, poor and older people unknown to her than whatever I attempted to do in my entire life. She is role model for both myself and my son. I feel my son inherited a lot of her character than I did as he spent more time with her when I was traveling a lot internationally when I was in the corporate world. If I am ever found with any good quality of being considerate to people in need, she definitely has a major role to play in that. I would never question anyone how can I become a selfless person? I am living with one every day.

    There are several responses to “Extras by women” from so many Indus members and I have a lot of respect for each one of them whether they are working or SAHMs. I am sure every one of them did lot more than what they listed here due to their humility. I can’t even begin listing whatever my wife did in the last 31 years not because of my failure to recognize her great work but because I am overwhelmed watching her wonderful character.
     
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  2. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    That is a wonderful write up on Mrs.V, V sir :) I don't have to tell you that you are fortunate. Thank you for sharing about her here. I am sure like me many others will find many things that we can learn from her. So to your question, can a woman transform a man, transform, no idea but make a difference - it seems to be a yes in your case and seems like a definite yes seeing your son.
     
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  3. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice one V'

    If a man can imbibe the qualities of clay, he can be molded/transformed - or at least he should accept that in the top it is just clay :)
     
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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabitha,

    Thank you for your first response. I am indeed fortunate to have her as my life partner. It is my pleasure to share her great qualities here in IL. I have done that earlier in a separate blog on a Valentine's Day and now here in the Snippet section.

    In most cases, the woman in a man's life makes a big difference. Like every woman, every man has positive and negative qualities. When I was young, my scale was tilted more towards negative qualities. She brought me into positive side of the scale not only with showering of love but also through strong life changing views. My effort was limited to listening carefully so that I can make use of her views.

    Everything my son is today because of her great qualities. She raised him so well when I was global trotting for years. But prior to that, she kept motivating me beyond what I thought was my capacity. Opportunities fell on my lap when I attempted to develop my career more and more. She allowed me to just concentrate only on career leaving my only child to be raised by her entirely. Even though there is a feeling of guilt in me for not contributing during his early life, I really feel it happened for a reason as he reflects a lot of her great qualities.

    Viswa
     
  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear GG,

    Not really. All a man needs to do is to patiently listen. Women have the wonderful habit of raising the bar not only for them but also for the entire family. It is their relentless effort and motivation that drives most families. If we learn to hear the content than the tone and the objective than the verbal, we can travel far. They are natural motivators. If only men have the ability to listen, they could become persons that they always aspired to become and much more. The women take a lot of pride in helping their men build their career and character at the same time. May be that is the reason why people used to say that the marriage is the best solution for a man's development.

    Viswa
     
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  6. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    I hear you V sir and completely. I for one believe in the strength of women and know that they can make a difference. Like I have said many times before, I have been fortunate to be born into a family where women are strong, smart and fiercely independent and married into a family which is similar. You should talk to my DH sometime.

    It is indeed nice to see you reflecting and acknowledging Mrs.V!
     
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  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa,

    A great message on International Women's Day.
    Yesterday I received a letter from one of my friends stating that women transform men altogether and have a mallific influence on them and even steadfast men take extreme steps .Being a great lawyer he opined that women take advantage of the Laws and torture men to a great extent leaving men peaceless.
    Here is the message received from him

    "The Society is biased and the laws also are to greater extent bordered on perversion under the false assumption that women can not go wrong and they always are at the receiving end.



    Avadesh Yadav case is not an unique and isolated case..


    It is the tip of the proverbial ice berg.


    Even the Supreme Court had conceded that all the women protection laws are exploited and misused to the hilt; but they were not prepared to fix accountability on women, and her parents who invoked S.498A and and in the event of the charges being rebutted with credible evidence the Law should punish those making false allegation.


    It is not Law, as yet!


    It is time to revisit S.498 A of the IPC reckoning the realities in the modern oriented society."

    As I was about to reply his message, I saw Viswa's snippet with the same title, having a totally different message in style and content.


    Many women possess such qualities;but very few men are prepared to accept and understand.More than transforming and making a change, it is this understanding and recognition that mean a lot to all human beings and to women in particular.you both are made up for each other.
    I am reminded of what Shri Sathya Sai Baba told in one of his addresses to women.There are conflicts between MIl and DIL for ever. My only advice to DIL is
    " You need not oblige your MIL. But speak obligigingly.Talk as though you are going to listen to her.Does it look pretence?Not at all.It is the art of living. For a few days MIL will be happy that her DIL is very pleasing and she would appreciate her and speak highly of her to her friends. naturally DIL would like to keep up the impression of her neighbours ,though not her MIL's. She would start really obliging and the it becomes a habit, a pattern and well absorbed into the lobes of the brain.
    After all making a habit and pattern for betterment is an appreciable technique, which can be practised by people who are prepared to shed ego.
    Congrats, Siva for the open hearted appreciations-born either instinctively or out of wanton efforts.

    Being appreciative by nature is good;To cultivate that habit out of practice is still more appreciable.It is very rare to find such men/women in real life.
    We are happy to have Viswa here.
    Congrats to you and your fortunate wife.
    Wish you many more years of harmony and noble thoughts.

    Jayasala 42
     
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  8. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow Viswa! What a write up! You both are really lucky to have each other!!

    You say that a man just has to listen to the content and not the tone ! That's so correct :)

    But I also feel that when a man really understands a woman's point of view, he leaves his ego and only then his ears open up :)

    I am overwhelmed by your words for your wife ! I'm sure she must be ecstatic after reading this writeup - really what else do we want - for our husband and children to do well in life, love from them and acknowledgement that we have been good for them
     
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  9. suryakala

    suryakala IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @Viswamitra ,

    My Hearty appreciation of your acknowledging the transformations your wife could bring in, on you. I am sure, if there was an," International Day for Men" your wife would have paid matching compliments to you on that day.

    I am so happy that your snippet also can be an entry for the currently open IL completion- http://www.indusladies.com/forums/topic-of-the-month-contest/268728-womens-day-contest-my-wife.html

    If 'Men' and 'Women' are equal then there are also their influence on each other is also equal, the influence may be 'good' or 'bad' depending on each one of them!

    However, I think women's influence on 'Men' is more, because, by nature's design, the child in all its formative years learns a lot more from mother than from father. Mother's grooming decides the values of the child in life. And when the male child becomes adult and gets influenced by another 'woman' who comes into his life, and if this woman has got all the nice values, sure, he is very much influenced.
    If this woman exerts bad influence, the 'man' is gone! History is full of such 'woman' behind 'successful', or 'unsuccessful' men.

    I heartily appreciate you and your wife for this nice snippet on Women's Day!
     
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  10. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Mr Viswa,
    As I read the first sentence I could guess the woman who transformed your life. Many a time you have written about her good qualities and how she brought up your son when you were away from the family.
    There are many men whose ego does not allow them to acknowledge and appreciate their spouse's achievements or good qualities. Fortunately my DH doesn't belong to this category of men.
    It shows your magnanimity in accepting and appreciating your wife's contribution in transforming you though I believe that you had all the fine qualities inborn.

    Wishing you both many more happy years together both supporting each other in fulfilling all your dreams!
     
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