Can a modern feminist love her mother in law?

anuyogam1988 · Mar 18, 2013

"What did I ever do wrong!"

You are just learning a lesson on how a mil should not be and it will make you even more stronger to deal with such self-centered creatures. Good for your future dil!!

arch1209 said: ↑

I am a feminist and I do not like/love my Mil - but like someone said above it has got nothing to do with me being a feminist. I generally do not like people that are "fake, selfish, and self-centered" and who wants the world to revolve around them, so I guess that is my reason for not liking her.

It is beyond my understanding if someone could love someone that asks them to eat rotten/spoiled food to avoid wasting food. My co-sis is not a feminist, she also does not like our Mil because she and her daughters have repeatedly been accused of robbing "blankets, bed sheets, transistor, glass sets, coffee table, gold."

I really am happy for people with good mils, I wish when I am older I am able to be one of them. That being said, when I read about people with good mils somewhere I do wonder "What did I ever do wrong!"
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arch1209 · Mar 21, 2013

Yeah bad for me good for my Dil - what if I don't have one!

coolgal123 · Mar 21, 2013

i believe i am a feminist........but i can not like/love my MIL.....many a times i think before also why cant i tolerate her....i just got one answer....i dont like her as a person...she is quite a bad person as per me....who does bad things not only to me but to others also for showing herself high....she is such kind of person whom i will keep atleast 1 km . distance if we have to meet her somewhere but irony of life i cant avoid her....

anuyogam1988 · Mar 21, 2013

:rotfl You can feed your daughter not to marry Indian guys.:thumbsup

arch1209 said: ↑

Yeah bad for me good for my Dil - what if I don't have one!
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SGBV · Mar 22, 2013

Girls, many times the good MILs don't live long life. See many threads off late about missing their motherly MILs. So, beware of your future----

ShilpaMa · Mar 22, 2013

SGBV said: ↑

Girls, many times the good MILs don't live long life. See many threads off late about missing their motherly MILs. So, beware of your future----
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+1000 :iagree:iagree.. GOD needs good souls in plenty....

TheSahil · Mar 22, 2013

Most MILs are not good MILs, end of story.

cutemonster · Mar 22, 2013

I am not a feminist as I feel it is very strong word! Yes I am very independent and have my own opinion which can clash with my mil's traditional views but we respect each others view point.
I think being a feminist or not has nothing to do with our relationship with our mil! Even women who are docile n timid can have horrible relationship with their mil and someone who is strong willed n straightforward can have great tuning with mil.
Actually as they as tali do haathon se bajte hai( for clapping u need both the hands )
So if I have good relationship with my mil credit also goes to her! If she was not nice , then mine being good with her won't have lasted long!!

anuyogam1988 · Mar 22, 2013

What I wanted to convey is slightly different.
I think being a feminist or not has nothing to do with our relationship with our mil!

I disagree with you. Being a feminist might affect married life. There is a statement "feminist until you get married." Some mils can be good to some dils if they are adjustable and practice their traditions. But those mils might not feel comfortable with a dil who speaks against patriarchy. Mine is a special one. I love her not to please my husband or not for the sake of my husband. Because he never(can't) expects(expect) me to please her or anyone. He supports me blindly. I love her because she is a good person who never interferes in my views against patriarchy. I never try to interfere her practices.
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/relationship-with-in-laws/209149-indian-marriages-values-makes-me.html
Yes Feminism is a strong word. But I am a strong feminist.

cutemonster said: ↑

I am not a feminist as I feel it is very strong word! Yes I am very independent and have my own opinion which can clash with my mil's traditional views but we respect each others view point.
I think being a feminist or not has nothing to do with our relationship with our mil! Even women who are docile n timid can have horrible relationship with their mil and someone who is strong willed n straightforward can have great tuning with mil.
Actually as they as tali do haathon se bajte hai( for clapping u need both the hands )
So if I have good relationship with my mil credit also goes to her! If she was not nice , then mine being good with her won't have lasted long!!
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nicegirlradhi · Mar 22, 2013

anuyogam1988 said: ↑

I disagree with you. Being a feminist might affect married life. There is a statement "feminist until you get married." Some mils can be good to some dils if they are adjustable and practice their traditions. But those mils might not feel comfortable with a dil who speaks against patriarchy. Mine is a special one. I love her not to please my husband or not for the sake of my husband. Because he never(can't) expects(expect) me to please her or anyone. He supports me blindly. I love her because she is a good person who never interferes in my views against patriarchy. I never try to interfere her practices.

Yes Feminism is a strong word. But I am a strong feminist.
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just have one question, if you dont mind. do you think not following traditions is termed as feminism?

if that is the case, marriage itself is thought to be a tradition invented by man for his own convenience. just want to know, you being a strong feminist, are you married and followed that tradition?:bonk