Calling mil as amma - Do we really mean? Is it peer pressure?

Deleting the double message. Sorry!

 

Very interesting Thread.

A MOM is always a MOM and MIL is always MIL. Never can be compared and should not compare. Even our own MOMs cannot consider their DIL as daughters and
the same with our MIL Thats what I practically understand. I was calling them "amma" , "appa" and even considered them same as my MOM and DAD. But when I saw the true pictures of them , for me , I respect them only because they gave birth to my husband , thats it. It's worth to call them that way , if they have daughters and they treat both of us same. It's true that it was never true -75%. Thats the main reason we have the tradition that we need to go to Mother's place for delivery.If MOM and MIL are considered to be the same , why they have to send. No need to tell this in the polished words. It's what it is and we need to accept the fact

 

I never called my MIL as amma and i will never call her she dont deserve that, i know my MIL before marriage so i use to call her AUnty and even now i call her the same. my husband told me to call her amma i told on his face i cannot call anybody else as amma other than my mother.

 

ours is a love marriage, before we got married my husband asked me to call his mom and dad as "amma and appa", since he never asked me to do anything or force me in any way, i decided to call them "amma and appa", we have been married for 7 years now. though in the beginning(before marriage), i started calling them amma and appa for my husband, in a very few days i realised how true that is, they really are caring and loving, that too my MIL she is like my second mom, even though they have a daughter they always give first prefrence to me, whenever we visited india, my MIL never let me to do any sort of work, not even washing dishes, though a mom is alwasy a mom, i love my MIL as equally i love my mom. i always will........................

 

no one can replace amma.. however caring they are..

simple reason... that divine connection you never get with anyone else !!!

 

Hi ,

Frankly speaking a MIL can never become MOM. This is nature. My MIL does not have a daughter , but her behaviour with DIL would not be the same if she had a daughter. Everything differs. Eventhough a DIL does all the household works and goes to work MIL will always be ready to find some complaint on the work done .
I have two sons.Fisrt one is 3 yrs old and other one is a 6 months old. I do the work for my first son , drop him at school , then nurse the second one and then come to office. I does not cook since my MIL never allowed me to cook right from first day of marriage. By the time I start to office , I would be very tired , my MIL would not get me even a cup of water even if she sees me tired. U have to take care of yrself here does not matter u r able to / not.

I miss my mom's love very much......

Drowning

 

Hi,
a mother-in-law can never become mom. but during my initial days after engagement, i never realised it.when my mil told " u have to call me amma", i never took it wrong and i started calling her amma. i realised very soon that it was a very big mistake, but nothing can be changed then suddenly.now i cannot change back to "aunty", but hoping some day i have to change as "aunty".lets hope for the best.

regards,
sreelata.s

 

Mil can never take a position of mothers in their lives even they are mother of a girl child. They will never understand the feelings or respect we give to them.
So thinking mil to be mom. Oh my God! No way.
Sangeetha

 

hi, i've been dying to discuss this...my sis calls her mil amma and when we talk to each other it is confusing if she is referring to our amma or her mil...i call my mil athai and even then things are not smooth between us...i wouldnt even dream of calling her amma...that would be an insult to my mother..amma is a sacred word that pays tribute to the one who carried us for 10 months physically and carry us in heart forever....in todays world one can hardly find a mil worth calling amma...i dont blame them for it...

in our society a son is treated as a prime property and a dil is always looked upon as the one who might snatch away that treasure from his mom....calling mil amma might sound sweet in the beginning of marriage..but as the conflicts arise one would think she should have kept a safe distance from beginning...

 

hey Malyatha,
Your second post here had me in splits. LOLLLLLLL
especially " I am spared the agony of having to listen to the woman's constant, high pitched, nasal, grating, whining about how I am now Gotram Y and not Gotram X. BLEH!"

hasita