Calling husband by name?

Dear Krishnamma, I agree with you.

I call my husband Evandi and I enjoy calling him like that. I take his name while talking about him with friends and family members but I don't call him with his name. If such a small gesture from a DIL can make ILs happy, what is the harm? If we start reasoning small things and fight for these silly rights, there won't be peace in life. What is in the name as long as the love and affection are there ? Ofcourse I call him by name if he don't respond to me on time.

 

Dear Huma,

In my case I don't think we had any problems of intimacy or sharing because of my calling him Evandi. I call him Entra when he is teasing me and entamma or emaindamma when he is depressed, so on. I call Evandi also differently depending on the mood, E M A N D I, Endee... like that. Whatever you call him call him sweetly and that will do wonders.

He is 2 1/2 year older than me and I feel my calling him Evandi will give him some dignity and respect and help him taking matured decisions. Specially I want my kid to love him at the same time respect him too. If I don't respect him, where will she learn from?

 

Krishnamma,

Can I further say that when we don't have objection to call a Mother, a Mom, Father, a Dad and sibbilings and other relationships (Brothers, Sisters, Uncles, Aunties) with their relationship names , why this question only for a Husband? Have we ever questioned ourselves why should we call a Mother "Amma". Have we ever wondered we should have shared a better relationship with a Father or a Brother, if we had called them by their names. You can call your Dad with name still have respect in your heart, I argue.

I still remember how I was corrected / checked in my childhood everytime I called my elder sister with her name. I did not know the reason then but now on retrospect highly respect the reason attached to it and would definitely like to teach to my kid the same.

I have also seen in certain cases a woman who calls her husband with name can not tolerate if her brother is being called by his name with her bhabi.

There are another kind of women who would like to call their husbands with their names because their ILs object them to do so (How can I respect you, come on you are my MIL).

To conclude I think foremost the Husband needs to be asked how he would like to be addressed, if he is comfortable in his name, a woman can forget the opinions of the rest.

Tanmayi

 

I used to call my husband by his name before marriage. But after marriage I was confused abt what I was going to do? Once I called him by name and I don't think anyone noticed it.

But i felt odd bcos my motherinlaw really respects her husband. she does namaskaram to him every day:bowdown and she addresses him 'aenna'.

so i decided to call my hubby as aeenna too. but when we are alone i call him nicknames sometimes...

 

Hi Friends,

Thanks for starting such a nice Thread.
When it comes to me..

I used to call him "bajji" (he hates this name and tried hard to stop me calling him with this name)

Then came "Ammu" and finally settled calling "Mu" (short cut for AMMU).

His parents call him "Pandu"(means fruit in Telugu),some times i will call with this name also.

Before my inlaws ,im dumb enough to call him with all these names.Even i cant call him with his name also. I feel very distant when i call him with his name.when ever i want to convey something/call him, i just watch him
until he watches me or go near by him.

He calls me "Mu" in private and "Haree" in Public.

At times i will give missed calls to call him.

OMG..!!! For one week(when i was in my inlaws house) i was like :hiya to call him.

 

I believe tht my spouse shd b my best friend. If I didnt call him by name, then I wud feel some distance... Calling him by name, makes me feel comfortable in this relationship. Others like aenna, aeppa makes me feel tht v r not close - meaning not so one to one...
I think it depends on ur comfort level

 

HI
Actuallly before marriage I used to call him by his name. Then after marriage I decided to change itmyself and started like neenga etc and tried not to use name. But my hubby dint like it. He said he felt a distance and wanted me to call with his name But these days I use his pet name a lot :rotfl

 

Interesting thread and very interesting responses...
I address my dH by name in the presence of others. I have a special *nick* when its just the two of us :-D. Even I feel that addressing differently puts some distance between us. I feel weird calling him otherwise :hide:.

Not to offend anyone here, just my 2 cents :
I dont agree with the theory that the kids will respect the father only if the wife "addresses" the hubby with respect (ennango, evandi...etc)
The husband calls the wife only by name (let me know if any husband addresses the wife in any other "respectful" way) and in singular form (vaa, po, whatever). Does that mean the kid doesn't respect the mother? :confused2:
I feel it is the behavior that expresses respect (and love). So even if we dont call them as "ennanga" or dont say "I love you" pretty often, doesn't mean we dont love them or dont have respect for them. It is how we are with each other (DH and DW) that affects the kids..the care shown for each other, getting over arguments in amicable way, coming to one conclusion together after a discussion, so on...!!

Somehow I feel in the older days, men were considered superior to women and thats how the whole wife addressing hubby in "respectful" way started. (I really don;t know how it started, but somehow I always thought of it this way since the hubby used to be breadwinner of the family, the wife should be all respectful..blah blah..!)
So, I feel very uncomfy addressing him as "enango" or whatever it is!!!

Again, in the end, the best way is to ask the guy how he likes to be addressed I did the same and my dH wanted me to call by name ONLY even in presence of his parents. My in-laws don't mind at all, but I got a earful @ my place in the beginning. Now they've also gotten used to it