1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Calling husband by name?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Huma, Apr 18, 2007.

  1. harinivijay

    harinivijay New IL'ite

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: calling husband by their name?

    hi all,
    GOOD GOING LADIES!
    mine is arranged marriage , but we got 4 months of time after engagement to till marriage. my hubby was used to call me thr phone. i used to talk with him without saying his name or other salutations...just talk in plain english or saying neengo, vango, ponko....


    in my home ,my mom is used to call my appa as "yenaanna" or "harini appaa".
    after marriage, this was my first question ,right near the sacred fire ,where marriage took place...." naan unkalai eppadi kupidanum?". he said " call me as Vijay...no problem" .so i started calling him as vijay ,right from that moment .
    my mil said that it's ok for her if i call him as" vijay .neenka , vanko ,pongo" instead of nee ,vada ,poda..although it's bit difficult for her to adjust with the change of new days ...

    but when i go to my mom's place or grandmom's place(mom's mom)...i should never call him with his name ..everyone started scolding me this and that..so i chose to go a bit slow ..call him as "enthango unkalai thane ""

    mamiyaaryum nathanarum ok soliyachu ...enn amma,appavukku than persolli kupiduvathu pidikalai.:bang

    i agree with all --it's the matter concerned with only spouses to decide and act .
    regards,
    harini
     
  2. archanagujjula

    archanagujjula New IL'ite

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: calling husband by their name?

    I too call my hubby dear by his name....
     
  3. GPriya

    GPriya Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    307
    Likes Received:
    44
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: calling husband by their name?

    Hi Harini,

    It is usually the parents of the girls who are very liberal and they certainly don't mind the way their daughter addresses her hubby and they are even so proud of her if she changes the traditional trend... In your case, it seems otherwise and strange..

    In my family, I set the trend of calling hubby by name (as ours is love marriage) and mu hubby too is very particular that his wife should address him only by name and nee vaa poo etc., no neega, enna etc., which he hates.

    Well .. the fact is nowadays men and women have become equal partners in life by contributing both financially and other ways, so the reason to worship the hubby with lot of respect is not needed anymore... but certainly enormous amount of understanding and consideration is needed in life to live in the current days..

    I am firm of believer in being a good friend and confidant to my hubby and I lose the intimacy if i start calling him neenga, vaango, pongo etc.. like a 3rd person..

    It ultimately depends on your comfort level anyway.

    :mrgreen: Geeth Priya
     
  4. PadmajaEdwin

    PadmajaEdwin New IL'ite

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: calling husband by their name?

    Dear friends,

    This all depends on our mind and system. Sometimes system othukittaalum manasu pollaathathu.

    My mother and MIL used to call as ketteengazha, Padma appa, Inthaanga etc.

    We got married in 1993. We were collegemates (BE). When i was in college we used to fight as cats and dogs. I always used to say poda, vaada and i used to call him by name only. Never these neenga, vaanga, ponga etc:) . Then when this proposal was fixed by our parents and i think some 6 months back - means 6 months before our wedding - i wrote a letter to my edwin, addressing as Neenga, vaanga, ponga like that. Inturn he wrote i liked the way u had written. Please keep it up. Then after 6 months we got married and he left to chennai leaving me in his mother's place - my mother in law's place for some 15 days till he finds a house. They r very good people. I can say it is a blessing for me. For the first 15 days i was not calling him by name and i was acting a very good show. But when Edwin left me there and went, i had to use his name when we talk about him or when we refer about him in our talks. I couldn't stop saying that. I will say "Edwin", immediately i used to realise i am talking to my MIL. Seeing my plight my MIL said, it is very common nowadays calling husband by name, so don't strain yourself, call ur husband also by name. I was so happy. From that day onwards, till this day, i am calling him by name. I really love that. I feel a lot of closeness by calling him like that. Vaai niraiya kuupidanum pola irruku - nu i used to say and laugh. At first, he used to feel little while calling infront of his friends. But now, pazhagipochu. Worst than that, now poda, vaada, etc is going on. Koncham vittaal polae will also come. So according to me there is nothing in these things. Only the heart and true love matters. We love each other too much and in our known gang, we both r considered as one of the happy couple by God's grace.

    Bye friends,
    Padmaja Edwin.


     
  5. Vidhyathan

    Vidhyathan Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: calling husband by their name?

    Hi!
    this is something debated upon when there really shouldn't be any talk over it. It should be purely the interests of the couple right? I used to call my husband by name when we were engaged. It became a big hulla gulla since my parents said that if my in-laws get to know it there will be a fire up. I was so naive that i gave up calling my husband by name though he wanted me to call him so. after reading this post I am thinking as to why I shouldn't call him by name atleast when I am at my place. :-D
     
  6. sowminivibu

    sowminivibu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,098
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    85
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: calling husband by their name?

    hi sll

    well calling the hubby by name is not an ofence at all...as many have pointed out its between the 2..if he is ok with u calling him by name and even vada ,poda then e shudnt bother abt others....my friends n all call their hubby's as AVAR...i desperately make an effort to call my hubby tht way..but sumhow i myself feel it is artificial...

    lov
    sowmini
     
  7. pavithrasriram

    pavithrasriram Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    857
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: calling husband by their name?

    hi all,
    as most of feel i think its everyones choice how to call their hubby.these days most of them call their hubbys by name.
    i am sure people who are used to callin their hubbys by name feel quite artificial and different when they call their husband vango pongo in front of elders.
    times are changin atleast for those who dont have the liberty now let us give it to our next generation.let us be a cool set of in laws:2thumbsup: .
    luv
    pavithra
     
  8. JustAni

    JustAni Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: calling husband by their name?

    This sure brings back memories....

    I used to call my hubby by his name after we got fixed & during the early months of marriage.... But for some reason, I personally felt that I shouldn't be doing that... Yea...I think the reason was "If I called him by his name, then my kid too will be tempted to call so"... Hence, I began calling him Jaan... So if wanted, my kid could immitate ... & She does at times..."APPA-JAAN".

    I recall an incident, when I just began calling him Jaan, my s-i-l used to tease me... by calling him "Jaan"... But I put a blank reaction & gave a deaf ear... It worked... No one dared to tease me from then on...

    To this day I call him Jaan in front of everyone... Feels real good... But I hardly hear him call/scream out my "nickname"....
     
  9. WesternDevi

    WesternDevi New IL'ite

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Me and my man call each other "baby" and "sexy".
     
  10. malspie

    malspie Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    7,725
    Likes Received:
    306
    Trophy Points:
    213
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Friends,

    Me and single ... What m i doing in this thread.... Active participation.. babes.. active participation....

    Well, most of my friends are married and they are or were in similar situations mentioned in the posts above. They call each other by some pet names to mention a few: Chickoo, Janu, Jana, Sweeto, Tweets, Sweets ....... Even couples who live in joint family address each other with such names..

    Chitivish has clearly found a way to call out to her husband... Imagine people of her generation... Where, "Ennango" "Enna" "yehji" 'Muni ka papa" was famous..... Hats off to you my dear friend.. Where there is a will there is a way... I really appreciate you...
     

Share This Page