Calling husband by name?

coolcool · Apr 19, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

Hi,
My hubby is 5 yrs elder than me, arranged marriage, from south-india. No need to tell, I am not calling him by his name. When we were newly married, my hubby asked me if u want to call me by my name, u can call me. I said "no, u r elder than me, I better call u as my mother calls my daddy with respect". He even didn't like me calling him by his name. Before our marriage, when my SIL was talking to me, once I used his name but with respect and she got angry. Keeping that in mind, I never call him by his name.
Hi ladies, but there is a advantage I found. Whenever I call him with respect, he reminds himself that I am younger than me. So, most of the time, even I do some mistakes, he never mind.
When I am in a good mood and no one is there, I used to call him with a pet name.:2thumbsup: If I am angry, better I talk in English so, hahaha.. no need to give respect... :goodidea:

gokusha · Apr 19, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

Hi,

Yep! I even feel there is nothing in the way we call, whichever is comfortable is the best way i feel.

I call most of the times"Ennaga" sometimes kanna, chello...when i'm in cool mood, when angry sometimes said suddenly Poda even....

The same way from my hubby too, he calls by names some times, sometimes with pet names....sometimes in angry he says Podi...

I started calling him as Ennage before marriage itself, he said they is some kick in calling him like that..so continued same .Along with that as my sister, mom,MIL calls Ennaga only...so i even felt like calling in sameway..

Chitvish · Apr 19, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

Dear Fiends,
Me in this thread ? - I am sure you are shocked beyond words !
Belonging to a Prudish & old fashioned generation of in-laws, I hated to call V by " Aenna" which was the common term in your community.
So I started calling him "Saar" ( note, not Sir !) from our early days of marriage !
If he does not respond, I will raise my voice with Hello Saare.
My friends think, I call him respectfully !
No, I had to coin a term, which was exclusive to me, at the same time "sounding respectful" !
Howzaat?
Love,
Chithra.

Triza · Apr 19, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

Hi all,

A very interesting thread. Ours also was a love marriage, we studied together. Before marraige I used to call him by name, and after marraige also I continued the same. But my MIL didn't like this, it seems, she didnot tell it to me openely, but was saying that our neighbours are asking why i'm calling my husband by name. I replied her very frankly, it's a matter between me & my husband, any of our neighbours have to worry about that as long as my husband has no objections in calling him by his name. So that chapter ended there. My husband is very friendly and I call him whatever names I want to call him. He doesn't care at all.

Like many of u suggested it is love that matters, if u have love everything is there. Otherwise whatever sugarcoated words u use, it's of absolutely no use!!!

Triza

rajmiarun · Apr 19, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

wanted to butt in,
My grandma called my grandpa "EEngo", my mom "Eenna", so I was quite confused as to how to call my husband after marriage because my husband's pet name is Appu, which I dont like to call as everyone calls him by that name. Kept scratching my head. Cant find an answer. As my inlaws though not against calling by name me being the youngest felt a bit odd though one cosister calls and addresses by his name.

Till date I really dont call him call him as and how I like. Call him Appa(got the cue of calling him like that from my MIL as she calls him like that as his name Arunachalam is her father's name). So I call him Hello, Saare(like Chirtra maam calls), and also Appa.

sujathae · Apr 19, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

Hello, very interesting to read all the postings in this thread. Mine too is a love marriage and before marriage i was calling him by name. But once our marriage was finalised i started calling him "Ennango". Noone insisted me to do so. It came automatically. And till this day I continue with the same. Some times I call him appa also for which he will say Always thinking of your appa in a joking manner. No matter how we address each other as long as we respect each others feelings and love each other deeply.

Kind regards
Sujatha

krishnaamma · Apr 20, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

Hi Huma and all others,

Very Interesting thread. Mine is a different story from you all. I married my Mama, so that from my birth till (21 years ) my Janavasam day I called him by his name and I used to fight with him and used to say ‘Poda Vada’ . On the Janavasam day when he was talking with his friend and my father’s brother was trying to take a photo I called him by his name and asked him to give ‘pose’ for the still photo. ‘Photo ku pose kudu da’

That is all; hearing this my father’s friend, Mr. ‘Muthukrishnan’came/ran near to us with out taking photo and told ‘Hi from there I can hear you, why are you calling him by his name and using ‘da’? he is going to marry you tomorrow. From now you must stop calling him by his name. Ok?’ He went and from that moment I stopped calling him, and whenever photographer/ Mr. Muthu Krishnan asked me to call my husband to give a pose, I used to touch him and show him that they are calling, and I will not use any word.

Like this one are two days went. I started ‘enanga’ for all my mamas. ( I used to call all my 4 mama’s by using their names only, but their wives, I will call mami.) Because I married my 4<SUP>th</SUP> mama and when I am going to call him with respect, I have to call all others also like that. Is it not? So I started calling ‘enanga’ for all of them and when I call my husband like that, he will never turn to me. Because he was thinking I am calling somebody. But all my other mama, mami and my patti (MIL) will laugh at me, and my elder mama said, “Sumathi I pity you. You just call Sundar with respect or as per your wish. Please be free like before and call me by my name.” (‘So till this date I am calling him by his name and vada poda only.’):-D

After that I would ask my co-sister, my MIL or my mother or brother to call my husband by his name and when he responded to them , they would tell that I was calling him. Like that I spent 1 year with much difficulty. After my Son Krishna’s birth I was very happy and I started calling him ‘krishna appa’ and latter it turned like ‘kitchuppa’ Now a days my father will also call him as ‘kitchuppa’ .

My MIL calls FIL ( grand mother calls grand father) ‘eanna’

My mother will ask us to call our appa, some times she will say ‘inga parrungo, ungalaithan’ like that

My Co sisters, they will use some times name, hello or ‘ungalai thane’ etc.,

My sister uses her husband name with appa, that is his name is Srinivasan and she will call him ‘cheena pa’ ( I used to think whether she is calling her FIL or her husband? But they are clear it seems.)

My Brother’s wife also calls like my sister.

rya · Apr 20, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

Hello ladies,
it is not a fault to call husband by their name...if the husband doesn't mind calling his name then,simply don't care about other's sayings..and sister-in-law is a secondary relationship and there is no need to follow her silly sayingslike this..whatever you feel comfortable do that..that's all..but that should not affect others..that's it..calling husband by their name is not going to affect anyone i think...and it is between you and your husband..not more than that..

GPriya · Apr 21, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

Hi Ladies,

I call my hubby vaa, poo sometimes vaada etc., irrespective who is present.

As stated earlier, ours is a love marriage and my hubby and I are pretty good friends for 3 years b4 our marriage. So nothing changes after marriage in the way I address him and he too doesn't want otherwise. But my inlaws had a shock of lufe when I called my hubby by his name and also vaada... a bit too much for all of them and my FIL laughed in a wicked way and said that if we had found a match for you, you will be respected more etc., to my hubby.
For which my hubby responded that how she addresses me is only my concern none of yours and feel happy that she doesn't address you like the way she addresses me..I am happy the way she is and I hope you accept it as it is...if not, we are NOT going to change our ways for your expectations....Thats it.. he shut his mouth.. never said anything beyond....Since I paved the way for this habit, when my hubby's bro got married, my cosis followed my track and nobody said anything this time...

It is always the trend setter takes all the heat and as my hubby says I have guts to introduce anything new and shocking to a very traditional family like my inlaws... Believe it or not there is so much of arguments about my wearing pants, sleeveless shirts, nighties etc., but the bottom line is I fought for everything silently without giving in, now my inlaws got used to it..no other daughter inlaw suffers like the first one in any family.

Geeth Priya.:wave

aishu22 · Apr 21, 2007

Re: calling husband by their name?

Heloo Ilites,
Very nice topic to discuss. Mine was a love+arranged wedding.I had worked with my hubby in same office before and after wedding.I used to call him by name even after wedding and all my relatives and my in laws were not happy with that. My patti used to scare me saying if the wife calls her hubby by name it will reduce his lifetime.. May be superstition or not, but definitely a bit scary to me .

My hubby was ok with me calling him by name for some time esp in office its was fine, but he expects me to call me vaango..pongoo at home.So i'm making a consious effort to call him vaangoo/poongoo at home tooo...i dunt feel bad or having lost any freedom coz of this. When we are out having a nice partying time i call him with pet names.

I feel its just a matter of simple adjustment in life, so its not bothering me much.