Calling 911 and its impact.

Hello Arushi,

1. I don't think it is very easy for Indian women to call 911. It is only done when their very limits of endurance has been reached.
Yes, but still it depends on the individual to call police.

Incidentally, I would like to know the source of some of your points...because they seem to be inaccurate.

1) Calling 911 is not as scary as you make it seem. What would you have victims of domestic violence do otherwise? Keep suffering?
It may seem very easy until you face the situation.

2) I know some women who called 911 after years of suffering physical and emotional abuse. What happened was that the police officers came and gave a stern warning to the husband. Told him that the police will be patrolling their neighborhood regularly and making sure that his wife was ok. He was forced to enlist in anger management classes and therapy sessions.


He did not dare raise a hand on his wife again. He called up India and cried to everybody how his wife has ruined his life (by not allowing him to beat his wife anymore..?) , but no, he did not beat her again. He was so scared of the big officers. His behavior towards his wife changed because he was scared that she was no longer the meek doormat that he had married and he could punch and beat with no repercussions.
As I said, it purely depends on the police officer to arrest or give warnings.
On top of this, neighbours will be watching always and they may call police sometimes.

3) You said - "After release, you are not suppose to live under one roof. Either you move out or your spouse has to move out of the house."

That is totally false. In fact, you can have a protection order against someone while living together. This order can simply require your abuser to stop his violent behavior and attend a batterer's counseling program.

Again, the officer would ask you if you want to live under same roof or not and they will cross question you for so many reasons that why do you want to live in same house, when he is abusing.


4) If you take help of women's organizations, then they can help you get lawyers that work pro bono or for very little money.
FOr taking help of any women's organizations... you should be bold enough face your husband.

5) "Studies have shown that in 63 to 85 percent of domestic violence cases, having a protection order reduces physical violence and helps victims regain a sense of well-being." This is from the Raksha website.

6) About an abuser no longer being able to hold a job, please....if that was the case, then all the abusers would be job less. That is not the case.
Holding H1 visa, you are notified to the employer.
IN each employment application, there will be a column "Are you convicted"

7) The most curious point was " In case of not guilty, still he will have black mark in his career and Green card processing will become very tough."

Who are you siding with here? The abuser or the victim? Are you saying that a women should accept being beaten and abused should not do anything about it? If in fact there are so many repercussions that CAN happen to the husband, isn't it better he be made aware of it? So that he can STOP abusing his wife? Than asking the wife to keep quiet?

I am siding both husband and wife here as a family.
Whether good or bad, both wife and husband are going to face the situation.

IN case if you have any plans of greencard etc, these process might get tougher.
See I have told many times that in this thread I am just giving the information about what might have happen after you call 911.
In air, people might think, everything would work fine etc....
ANd I have told in my previous reply that husband/abuser should know about all these repurcursions, not that we females know and sacrifies all the time to save husband.

And keeping a work permit or green card...! Is that more important than the well being of a woman???

Keeping work permit is as important for livelyhood.
TOday you might encourage etc, but in reality who is going to feed her and her baby and give shelter.

Frankly, I would be interested to know what you would advise a domestic violence victim to do. You have mentioned so many pointers on what she should not do and why she should not call 911 etc. Is there something that she can do that will bring her out of her cycle of abuse?

Definity I would never encourge the female to take all these shits.
IF you are calling 911, just be prepared to face any kinds of problems.

Here I am not talking 'CMIT's problem, this is just a general senerio.
ANd I never pointed CMIT to never call 911 or anything.
ALl I suggested was that her parents should take her side.
Her husband knows her weakness that her parents would never talk to him or warn him, so he is doing all sorts of things.


~Punitha

 

Hello CHocolate,

I had to login to answer this query. Its not all true mentioned in this post. I am one of the victims of DA. Let me clarify each point in your post.

Even I am victims of DA for many years and had called 911, got my husband arrested etc.
THis is truly my experience I am writing here.
There may be different senerios for diff people.
It all depends on police officer and the situation.
But most of the things which happens are these steps.


1. They are going to arrest the person and it depends on the police officer to arrest or to give warnings.
Its left to the wife in this context to let the officer arrest or warn

Even I have told the same thing and if wife tells police officer that he had abused, definitely they will arrest him.


2. In case if they arrest, they are going to put the guy in the jail ( it is not like Indian jail, where you can go and get the complaint back) and he has to produce his all assets to get a bail for the release.
Its not for long they are in jail.(if weekend arrest ,then till next working day)
Usually nobody comes out on bail as it is expensive .
Even its not long, but you have show what you own at Jail for releasing.
ANd you need not have to pay any money or deposit check also.

3. After release, you are not suppose to live under one roof. Either you move out or your spouse has to move out of the house.
Its only if wife requested a Temporary Protection order. Otherwise after the Judge gives final judgement husband and wife can live to gether

Not true... seeing the sensitivity of the situation, you will be given order to stay... most of the you are not allowed to stay under same roof legally.

4. Next day, the physical abuser has to appear in the court.True.
he has to be questioned for the abuse.

5. He has to appoint a lawyer for himself.If he choses to fight the case yes.
If he wants to contest the decision taken by the court yes. Otherwise he doesnt need a lawyer.

TO contest you should know the rules and regulations here..
If your husband is capable enough, he doesn't need any lawyers.


6. Mean while, the state govt. will provide you with a govt. lawyer.
yes

7. You should know the laws of this country.
The lawyer appointed for you will explain all this.

But not all, they might miss out some information or you should know what to ask or how to deal with the situation.

8. TO get a good lawyer, you need to spend huge money in this country. (we have come here to earn money leaving everybody back home, why get into all these problems).
Not all the time. You can get lawyers for moderate fee too. And shouldnt the husband's think of all this before abusing.If they are ready to give pain to wife who came here only believing their husbands will be loving.,they should also see how it is on the other side.
Moderate means how much less, for $2000???
No way, they charge atleast $200 for one visit and total might cost more than $5000.

9. The police officer would contact the employer of the abuser and will give the full information.
Not necessary.
It happens some time. Again it depends on the severity.

10. He record has become bad. He will not be kept in the job.
Not true
It depends on the employer again.
BUt he will be under obeservation.

11. If found that he is guilty, they will deport him back to India.
Probably. This only happens if the abuse is very severe. Most of the times it is not so severe to get deported.
My lawyer told me that they will be deported, as they need only good people in this country.
SOme time, they would not convict the abuser, they would send them back to India.

12. In case of not guilty, still he will have black mark in his career and Green card processing will become very tough.
It will be on his record. Not so much a black mark on career .If it is a first complaint.,it will be counted as a misdemeanor. If it happens again it becomes a felony and will probably be a black mark. Green card processing will include a interview in most cases and it depends on how well the person convinces the interviewing officer he is not in his old ways.

He has to undergo several marriage couselling and prove himself during the trail that he has changed.
13. On top of it, your spouse will have this in mind and will keep on torturing you throught your life.
Maybe a few times. But will never attempt to abuse again. Its better than being beaten again.
It depends on the individual again...
I don't have to say here that how he behaves...

14. Please don't have the misconception that you will get greencard/citizenship in this country.
If you are on dependent visa, you are also forced to leave the country.
Not necessarily.
It is true....when your husband is deported and you are on dependent visa, you are also sent.


PS:I was a victim of DV and had taken legal action against husband. I am not sorry i did it. I am just sorry i didnt do it when he raised his hand the first time.
This post should be an eye opener to anybody suffering DV from husbands. Please dont get disheartened. Its not as bad as it sounds. But it will be worth it. After the 911 call and aftermath process,I have not suffered any abuse.

If your husband just got warnings, not undergone arrest then its good for you and your husband.
I am glad that you took this step and made him straight.

There are several females who doesn't have courage to do this...
for these people they need some information and courage.. not drastic steps.

~Punitha

 

Hello,

Recently I read in an news paper that, in Massachussets Sakhi.org is going to train several police officers for handling 911 calls from South Asian community.
THe training would include how to get the information from the wives about the abuser and many times wives would call 911 and avoid giving information.
Now the new law is if any SOuth asian women calls 911, the police officer should be accompanied with lady officer also, so that lady officer can talk to the victim one on one..

~Punitha

 

Hello Arushi,


For calling women's organizations also, you said that the " FOr taking help of any women's organizations... you should be bold enough face your husband." I'm confused about the point you are trying to make here. How does talking to a helpline (say in the afternoon when her husband is not there) require her to be "bold enough to face your husband"? My best friend here works for a women's org and based on what I've heard, I'm not "talking in air" when I say that talking to a counselor often gives you the confidence and motivation to better your life and knowledge on what options you have. Specially for immigrant women.

I think you didn't understood my point here, In case of any women's organizations help taking confidence, motivation etc.. is just a part of solution. It is you who should have courage always. Not always you get help from others. In case, the women's organization talks to both of you and if your husband is not open enough... what would you do...
Your eg. works fine talking to women's organization during husband's absence..

In CMIT's case, she keeps telling that her husband and herself love each other a lot...
do you think she is going to call police???
No way, basically she needs lot of courage and strenght.
More over, we cannot just take drastic steps in our life.
Her Husband needs a good warning and who could do this???
And how could we get this done???
Somebody should stand for her??
Her parents are not coming forward.
How we could make police officer to warn him??
As she taken any kinds of actions from her side or just giving suggestions did we get any help to her???


Neighbors will be more observant and will call police if abuse happens again. Isn't that a deterrent for the husband not to abuse his wife?

Yes, if neighbours calls 911, even though the police officer don't get full information fromt he victim, they would warn the abuser and go.
This will be a good warning to the abuser.

CMIT should make such arrangements by telling neighbours to watch at her and her baby.

Regarding Greencard.... It is not easy as you say that you have to explain your side of the story etc..... Now the processing is getting very tough...
ANyways, it is their fate and headache to get green card or not..
THis is not the whole point here.


Assuming that the abuse was severe, and his wife decides to pursue legal action against him, and he gets convicted, then Yes, he might have to look harder if he wants to change his job or he might have to be prepared to answer immigration officials on his record. On the plus side, Yes, he will no longer be able to beat his wife with impunity and Yes, he will know that whenever he lays a hand on her, there will be repercussions. Isn't that a good thing?

In this country, the people would divorce after going thru all these senerions...
No body would stay together...
And same thing would victims lawyer also would do... getting a divorce...


=========================================
And I would not like to argue with you or anybody over here.
It is better to give full information about pros and cons of the '911 CALL'.

I think, I will talk to Saheli or Asra organization and get all the legal information about calling 911 and what would happen to a victim, how to deal with these things etc.

~Punitha

 

Hello Chocolate,

Your situation might be different. In case the victim is bleeding badly, hurted badly or have bruise etc.... will it not lead to severe condition??
Please understand that, If the wife is dependent on husband for status, then she has to go back if husband is deported.
In which state do you live, lawyers seems to be very inexpensive.
We ended up paying $6000.00 for the dismissal of the case. We live in Mass state.
And they did contact my husband's employer to check how is doing at work and about his behaviors.

My case was:
I had just delivered the baby (c-section) and had come home.
He picked up an fight with my mother and brother who were there during my delivery time.
He slapped me and raised his hands at my mom.
Then I ended up calling police.
He pushed me and my back was hurt.
I was sent to ER to check my back and make sure my stitches had not opened.
He was arrested and taken to the jail.
Couple of officers came to hospital itself to take statement from me.
Until I took a shelter at my friends house, one officer was always with me and he made sure that we are not living in the same house as the abuser might become more violent and would attack again.
Just imagine, having delivered 10days ago, with my new born and mom, where would I go???
You need some financial support too.... Thank god, I had made couple of good friends and they helped me.
Police department had sent an arrest copy to the INS and copy to the employer as well.
This is how my husbands employer came to know.
All these things happened 8 yrs back....
Now do you think that I am just giving false information to other females and scaring them.
This is truly what I have gone thru....
Just by your case and my case we can't come to conclusion.
~Punitha