brother's wife

rupika19 · Aug 31, 2014

guys, help me plzzz
brothr n his wife torture me like hell...wen i ignore i become bad...wen i talk they criticise me tip to toe...they dnt respect my wud b in laws also...nt evn my fiancee...im getting married in 3months n they r trying their best to nt let me go happily... whose bhabhi says that shes nt having children coz of her nanand?? ) what do i hv to do in that case guys??? they cnt see me happy...cnt see relatives around me...they cnt see my mil good to me...they keep exploiting my name everywhere....my bhabhi is a liar...she keeps lying abt me that i did this i did tht, wen actually i hvnt...n u knw wt guys this is my parents' house n i didnt till date complain abt them wat they do to me n evn my parents, but she has left no stone unturned in exploiting my name... how fair is tht guys?? i feel so lonely...i hv cried like hell bt they hv never melted...for them m nt evn a human being to b treated humanly!! all i cn understand from their behaviour is tht coz my fiancee is better qualified n praised more in society than them thts y they keep letting both of our names down in front of evryone..... my heart has soured from both of them...cnt live like this... if il reply them then il get dirty too n nanands will b called bad girls... i feel sad n helpless

YoGirl · Sep 1, 2014

How is her relation with her MIL(your mom)..who dominates there?

rupika19 · Sep 1, 2014

formal relation....my mom is very gentle, not at all dominating... once , in d beginning she said wrong(false!) abt my mom to her husband n he fought/insulted my mom like nythng(papa was nt home tht tym).... he evn pushed her in front of me n sil...thn i ws d one who hd to come in between to rescue her n told him to stop, she didnt stand up fr my mom tht tym, y cudnt she stop him?? shes her mom also?? if it ws her mom in d place of my mom, wudnt she hv stopped him then?? tht means she wntd this to happen!!.. my mom is alrdy a diabetic patient n these ppl r making her suffer more...how wud i feel if my mom will suffer coz of them??? v all hv suffered coz of both of them bt still she hs been kept vry nicely... nobdy in our family hs ever asked or said nythng wrong to her....shes given all d liberty...they both stay outside now where bro's job is but come fr a week or so in a mnth....n wenevr they come home thers a negative vibe all around... they dnt harass me only but disrespect parents also....shes a vry cunning lady...she has xposed herself in front of me but fakes around in front of other people... shes dominating by nature n she tries to dominate everyone evn without logic!!

rupika19 · Sep 1, 2014

everythng happens according to her wish in family n if smthng dsnt shes ready to take cheap revenge...i think shes lyk this coz her mother is shrude n young too..evn her mother dsnt share gud relations wid her own relatives. most of them r out of cntct now....she supports her in her bad too... n v dnt want any issues in our family as v rnt of tht kind who cn ruin their name in society...evn i dnt talk to nyone els abt her. many of my relatived have askd me abt her behaviour bt i dnt tell them d reality...thts y i hv found this medium to outlet my views n anger....n evn show d world d other side of d coin...

yellowmango · Sep 1, 2014

If they cause problem....your parents should tell them to stop coming home.

rupika19 · Sep 1, 2014

thts wat papa told my bro to do a few days back wen he ws fighting wid my mom...(though v dnt want them to leave)but hes shameless...aftr all tht hes still d same....n y will he leav b'ful house/facilities.... he'll nevr do tht...n u wt happnd thereafter,wen i came back frm coaching(didnt evn knw wt hd happnd) they both threw out their frustration on me!!n i cud nt say nythng as m younger!! it has become their habit coz may b its easier to exploit a nanad's name than parens-in-law!! see, due to tht exploitation i hav to suffer so much..

Joyoflife · Sep 1, 2014

Do not worry about the exploitation by nanad and all that. No body is going to give you a gold medal anyway because your putting up with this bad behaviour. If you are listening to what ever they say it is going to increase only. You are getting married they might continue all this infront of your husband too. You need to draw a line. If you do not say something or you are being blamed for something which you haven't done or said, you need to stop it straight way. When they talk crap look into their eyes and say stop it, this is not the way to talk. If you want to talk like mature people only then you talk to me. My bhabhi had this nature of telling lies and spreading rumours about me. That I am very proud and all that. Once I got to know about it from some where then I had a very straight fwd talk with her. I was upfront and I told her straightway that if you have any problems you have talk like mature people. Now if I got to know from someone that you are saying all this to people about me, I would make you sit there and clarify everything. After that I have kept my relation very formal with her. I beleive if you want respect you need to give respect. You need to be bold, learn to stand up for yourself. If your brother and bhabhi are actually what you have mentioned, you need to draw a line. When they start their nonsense again simply say either be fair and truthful otherwise do not talk to me at all. You have to prepare yourself for future. Their dramas may start infornt of your inlaws too. So be bold and upfront.

rupika19 · Sep 1, 2014

my bro has alrdy done dramas in front of my wud b in laws!! .... thrice!! for d first tym wen it happnd i cried d whole day...my mil saw all tht...she consoled me n evn said he dsnt knw hw to talk...etc. bt stil i didnt utter a thing...
aur kya kya bataun, batate hue b sharam aati hai
bt il try it wat u hv told me to...it will b difficult, bt il try

yellowmango · Sep 1, 2014

Dear OP...your parents are the ones who need to take a stand and put an end to all this.They are older and also have the responsibility to protect you .This is why it is important for newly married couple to start a new life separately so that no one takes each other for granted.

Akanksha1982 · Sep 1, 2014

OP, I think you should think about your parents first. Work with your father to make sure that everything is in their names and mother is taken care off when your dad is no longer alive. Make sure that he makes a will which spells out everything. After you are off to your IL, your brother and bhabhi will make life worse for them.

Does your brother listen to you? If so, explain him to stop bhabhi to tell lies. If not, then just tell Hyannis firmly and strongly to mind her own business and not interfere in your business and spread lies. Just warn her that you will also not take it quietly. Dhamki do. If she doesn't stop just tell in front of everyone bhabhi zhoot kyo bol rahi ho. Be firm and loud when you talk to her.