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Bring the best and worst of your Mother-In-Law...

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by spuppala, Nov 24, 2011.

  1. sstha

    sstha Silver IL'ite

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    Best Qualities of my MIL:

    1. Treats me as her DD. Whenever she speaks with my DH , will ask him to adjust to me and take care of me. Asking his son to take care of DIL was very new to me since i have seen vice versa..
    2. Gives lot of respect to my parents and my family.
    3. She is a Multitasking women, does household chores, outside work everything without any complaints. Very energetic for her age.
    4. She is the best cook i have ever seen.

    Worst qualities

    NOTHING

    I miss her, i was with her for just few days after my wedding. She is the best MIL. Ours was a love marriage i know from our courtship years. She was the reason for getting married, when i faced lot of oppositions from my family. She was the pillar of support and helped us convince my parents.
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2011
  2. anjananathan

    anjananathan Platinum IL'ite

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    positives

    1) does not stop my husband when he helps me.. i can freely ask him to share some household chores
    2) when we both fight, she does not peep into it.. instead ask us to stop it and continue our work
    3) does not complain abt me or my family..in fact she moves with them freely.. my parents can come here freely..
    4) i have 2 co-sis... my mil & fil stays with us and visits there for few days in a month.. she does not tell bad about co-sisters.. so it means, she will not tell bad about me to them
    5) i need to leave home very early to work.. after cooking, i leave kitchen as it is and go.. she is the one who puts those vessels to maid for cleaning.. sometime collect my washed clothes and keep it in our bed..

    negatives
    1) when my husband comes late, she will ask me to go and open gate for him and make cofee.. but when i am late, she did not tell that to him..
    2) prepares whatever my hubby likes for lunch during weekends but i can make whatever i like.. she does not stop also..
    3) when we sleep for little long time during weekends, she cleans all vessels and make noise..not sure whether it is with bad intention but i tell her i will wake up and do but she still does..

    negatives are only trivial and so for so good.. mine is just 7 months old and nothing big till now.. touchwood..
     
  3. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    Good side of my MIL :clap:

    1. She treats me as a daughter when her daughter and her daughters are NOT with us. Not let me do much household chores other than cooking bcoz i m working.

    2. She is very kind to everybody...she can give almost anything she have to who are in need (mostly whatever she have gotten from others. :rotfl) but she will just take things from others in sweet manner whatever she wants.

    3. She treats my son as hers, when her daughter's daughters are not around.

    :evil:

    1. She will take my son away from me whenever i try to pick him up, leave him to my FIL (when we visit them) and let it be bcoz it just a matter of some days. I even leave my husband onto her take care..after all he is her son. :thumbsup..

    2. She is very very talkative and cannot stop....i more of a silent person, so it is a little bit more for me to hear her absurd talks. Can start talking to anyone..and tell her life story. She will talk ill about me to her daughter and aunt (unmarried and stays with ILs) on phone - mostly talks early morning so i am not able to know. Talks ill about my widowed mother (mentally disturbed bcoz she has suffered lot financially throughout her life and bcoz of loss of my father -her husband)

    3. She gives everything to her daughter whatever i give her. She will find faults in whatever i do and praise her daughter and indirectly conveys me to do or be like her. She is illiterate but praises herself a lot and always says if i was literate i should have done this and that. She butters me a lot bcoz her son treats me well in front of them and never lets me down. My MIL, SIL and her daughters, FIL, and aunt, all leave me in a room when they are together and go outside or in other room and talk and takes my son with them (he likes to play a lot with his grandfather). I am not a poking type of person so i let them go and never go behind them. But my mil and SIL always like to poke in whatever i talk on phone to my mother or sisters or brother or friends.

    Hope this is not tooooo long :hide:....sorry ladies..there are no current topics related to my concerns here, so vented out here. Anyways, i somehow manage to keep myself out from all this everytime we visit them.
     
  4. ssm014

    ssm014 Platinum IL'ite

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    Positives:

    1) My MIL is an awesome cook....and she has accepted my cuisine more easily (we r diff castes)
    2) she is generally sweet and doesnt ask anything for herself.
    3) is very tolerant of my mistakes and shortcomings..eg less than perfect chapathies by me in initial days of wedding...sometime more tolerant than my mother..
    4) generally relaxed, easy going and smiling

    Negatives
    1) when she lives with us...she needes to be prodded for action...whether it be cooking or taking bath on time...she needs to be pushed and goaded for small things, but is very fast once she starts. We as a couple are also less demanding
    2) she easily gets emotional and has been used by her co-sisters & other relatives due to this
    3) she is not wise in handling money. she often asks DH for hubby and other son for other stuff...I grudge this as my parents do not take anytg from us(me a single child)
    4) initially when we were abroad, she contstantly used to ask us to get gifts for SIL/ SIL's DD

    All in all I am very happy with my MIL..she is good to hang out..
     
  5. RashmiR

    RashmiR New IL'ite

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    Few best qualities that I like with my MIL:
    1. Very good to my parents and my relatives..
    2. makes friends easily to whichever new place she goes.. and as she knows many languages like Tamil, telugu,kannada, marathi, hindi, she has many diff language frnds :)
    3. She does not get tired of doing spiritual poojas n al..

    Many worst qualities to list out:
    1. Self Boasting (about her family too).. Hate this to the core.. She can sit and do this even at a death house.. Examples are "nobody would have brought up my children as i did","I don' like to talk ill of anybody","All my relatives says that nobody can take care of their MIL as I did" (the fact is that she has stayed with her MIL only for3 or 4 year after her marriage. And now it is 27 yrs since she got married and everyone knows that how many misunderstandings and fights she had with her MIL :idontgetit:)
    2. She loves talking to others and pokes on their family problems and stories and shares her own family stories and gains sympathy. For example, She is taking care of my 1 yr old baby now. She goes to play area as if she takes my baby there to play.. but all time she chats with similar other old ladies there..Once i got to know from an aunty(who plays double game) that my MIL has talked ill of me to them. This I believed only after she rightly narrated the incident scene by scene at my home. ( Can elaborate this in another thread where i can vent out all the pressure that i had after that incident)

    3. Untidiness.. She does not have the habit f keeping the house clean.. Never keeps things at the right place... Even if i fold the clothes after they were washed n tried, she cant keep it in her shelf.. They''ll be lying down all thru the week, until it comes for next wash.. And i can't tell you how the kitchen ll look like.. OMG!! :bang.. Everyday she'll allow the milk to run whenevr she keeps it for boiling... she wont clean after she is done with cooking.. (She does only that.. I sweep, mop, wash clothes and vessels before i go to office in the morning and once i come back, ill fold clothes and cleane vessels before i go to sleep)
    Many more to go.. Lemme stop with this as it is already too long..

    sorry ladies :):oops::roll:
     
  6. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    My MIL passed away a few months after we got married...I knew her for 2yrs before that.

    Positives...
    Great parent...she had cancer when the kids were very young (and other complications). For kids who grew up with too many uncertainties, they are emotionally strong, have absolutely no greed and treat all children alike...while my FIL is a very gentle person, I think her ability to care for herself and manage the impact on her children played a significant role in this.

    Very strong woman..worked with domestic abuse victims as a crisis counselor...Was able to separate her needs from that of others and helped them find their own strength. It never became her need to help others.

    Had a great sense of humor...her children teased her mercilessly and she always gave it right back...even about her illness. Nothing was ever taboo.

    Negatives...I didn't know her for long..so I can't recollect much. I am sure we would have had some friction over time but nothing that we couldn't have worked out.
     
  7. seagreen

    seagreen Gold IL'ite

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    ok, so here it goes :

    3 best qualities of my MIL :
    1. She respects her son and both our professional achievements in life.
    2. She cares a lot for the welfare of her family,her bro/sis - and their families.
    3. Since she is not very religious, she does not push me into meaningless traditions and gives me freedom to practice my own customs (It being an intercaste marriage, out customs are mostly similar except very little differences)

    Worst qualities :
    1. She is very driven by materialism - Money matters to her more than love and emotions.
    2. She is smitten by her daughter and her display of money to take everyone else for granted.
    3. She is quite hypocrite - She is proud of the fact that her daughter doesnt stay with her in laws and has her own life in another country and doesnt have to bear them except once in 2 yrs when she visits however if her son talks about thinking of switching to a better job opportunity in another city (same country, mind you!) she scoffs him and tells him not to even think of moving out ever.
     
  8. renutn

    renutn Gold IL'ite

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    After reading so many posts for this thread I got inspired to write at least few lines about MIl.
    Since I hardly spent with her when I was in India (may be a week) in that short duration few things I observed

    1. Open-minded ;supportive; clean;simple living; no gossips if something is there to tell she tells in front of them. But she doesn't hurt their feelings.
    2. Doesn't impose her words either to her children or me ; she does it only to my FIL :) . She and my FIL know that children are grown up and they know how to lead their life.
    3. Doesn't ask money from us; even both her children sends money every month. In occasions like lot of guests in home or unknowing expenses she manages by her own and doesn't ask from us.

    even though my stay with her is very short but we keep talking every week ; she asks me in hindi 'kaise hoon','khana hua' only these two to me with love and care. No religious bind, talk about my family, nothing...

    After seeing and hearing good things of her; i will become mean to dig any bad qualities of her.
    I am lucky to got her as MIL who is mother to me
     

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