Brilliant Ways Girls Turn Guys Down!!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Arunarc, Mar 11, 2008.

  1. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS TURN GUYS DOWN!!
    HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
    SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like

    yours!!
    HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance? <SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: No, I\u0026#39;d like to have some *pleasure too!!!\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp style\u003d\"text-align:center\" align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" color\u003d\"#008080\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#008080\"\u003eHE: How did you get to be so beautiful?\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e \u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#008080\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#008080\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: I must have been given your share!!!\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt\"\u003e \u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff0000\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"color:#ff0000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff0000\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#ff0000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nHE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?\u003c/span\u003e \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff0000\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#ff0000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSHE: Sorry! I\u0026#39;m having a headache this weekend!!! \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#800000\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:13.5pt;color:#800000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#333399\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#333399\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHE: Go on, don\u0026#39;t be shy. Ask me out!\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#333399\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#333399\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#333399\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#333399\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: Okay, get out!!!\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#333399\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#333399\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#800080\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#800080\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHE: I think I could make you very happy \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#800080\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#800080\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: Why? Are you leaving?\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#800080\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e",1]);//--></SCRIPT>
    SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!
    HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
    SHE: I must have been given your share!!!

    HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?

    SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

    HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!

    SHE: Okay, get out!!!

    HE: I think I could make you very happy

    SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
    <SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#800080\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#008000\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:13.5pt;color:#008000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#008000\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:18pt;color:#008000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#008000\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:13.5pt;color:#008000\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#008000\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:18pt;color:#008000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: Nothing. I can\u0026#39;t talk and laugh at the same time!!!\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#008000\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:13.5pt;color:#008000\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#808080\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#808080\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHE: Can I have your name? \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#808080\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#808080\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: Why, don\u0026#39;t you already have one?\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#808080\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#808080\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#993366\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#993366\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHE: Shall we go and see a film?\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#993366\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#993366\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#993366\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#993366\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: I\u0026#39;ve already seen it!!!\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#993366\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#993366\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff9900\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#ff9900\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#003366\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#003366\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e",1]);//--></SCRIPT>
    HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?

    SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

    HE: Can I have your name?

    SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

    HE: Shall we go and see a film?

    SHE: I've already seen it!!!

    HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
    <SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003cfont color\u003d\"#003366\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#003366\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#003366\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#003366\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#003366\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#003366\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#333333\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:18pt;color:#333333\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHE: Where have you been all my life? \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#333333\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:18pt;color:#333333\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: Hiding from you.\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e \u003cb\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt\"\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff0000\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"color:#ff0000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff0000\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#ff0000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nHE: Haven\u0026#39;t I seen you someplace before?\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff0000\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#ff0000\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff0000\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#ff0000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: Yes, thats why I don\u0026#39;t go there anymore.\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff0000\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt;color:#ff0000\"\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp style\u003d\"text-align:center\" align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" color\u003d\"#808000\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#808000\"\u003eHE: Is this seat empty?\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#808000\" size\u003d\"4\"\u003e \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#808000\" size\u003d\"5\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:18pt;color:#808000\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\nSHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:700;font-size:13.5pt\"\u003e. \u003cfont color\u003d\"#003366\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"color:#003366\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#ff0000\" size\u003d\"7\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:36pt;color:#ff0000\"\u003e",1]);//--></SCRIPT>
    SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

    HE: Where have you been all my life?

    SHE: Hiding from you.

    HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

    SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.
    HE: Is this seat empty?
    SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down
    .
    <SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003cbr\u003e\nFORWARD ON TO ALL WOMEN IN NEED OF *SOME LAUGHS \u003cbr\u003e(and men who may appreciate good humour)\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003cWBR\u003e\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr clear\u003d\"all\"\u003e\n",0]);D(["ce"]);//--></SCRIPT>
    FORWARD ON TO ALL WOMEN IN NEED OF SOME LAUGHS
    (and men who may appreciate good humour)
     
    Loading...

  2. Sumeru

    Sumeru New IL'ite

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    Thanks, gals could use these tips !
     
  3. Paulina

    Paulina Moderator Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Aruna habibi

    What a hilarious collection of one-liners !!

    Shared them with my better half and we Big Laugh&Big Laugh&Big Laugh!

    Shall forward them to other pals too.

    Thanks a ton

    Luv,
    PAULINA:wave
     

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