Breaking out of Karma ---- I deprived my parent of a friend

Long story short when we were doing matrimonial correspondences few years back, I was using email on my dad's behalf.

One person I didn't want to correspond with, but my dad thought the boy's father was a nice guy.

No matter what the sanjoygs were, my dad wanted to have this person has a friend.

He seemed very down to earth and genuine. Even the shrewd business people who come across many people said at least the boy and his father was honest.


But I was upset because I didn't want anything to do with them.


While I was marrying my now ex, I was scared someone was trying to break off wedding, so when the boy's father would call the cell I was borrowing, I would not pick up.

Finally after marriage ceremony and returning to US, the boy's father wrote nice email, and I wrote mean mean mean email saying "my daughter is not interested, stop bothering us"

At the time, I felt justified, because of my anger, but now several years I realize

1. It was very very very bad
2. Whether the person is nice, or bad, it is not nice to be rude


Now I think the marriage got bad due to Karma. Of course, my ex's plan was to ditch me once he got citizenship, but maybe things wouldn't have gotten so terrible.


When I finally told my dad I am sorry for my bad behavior and hence the abusive marriage was my karma, my dad said that things are already written.

Honestly, he doesn't believe in Karma

He said what's the point of getting upset, you are damaging your health.


I wish there was some way I can apologize for mean behavior. If boy's father was truly nice person, he must have been very very very sad.

I was nice to my abusive ex, and he also made me very very very sad.

See, each action has an equal and opposite reaction, hense karma.

This has made me upset whole day at work. Monday's do not scare me at all, it's the fact that I have contributed to the problem, instead of being part of solution.

My dad is old, he needs human friends, and there are only few good people in world. My dad was so worried about me not getting married earlier, he actually encouraged me to start wearing make-up ..... Now after recovering from this nightmare, I am making make up a priority to feel better.

How to make ammends? There is no way to apologize. And if there was I would be embarassed. I bet the boy's father thinks all American women are crazy.

Now I am praying to God, "please help the people I hurt, intentionally and unintentionally, in this life, and in past life"

Any other advice?

 

I would really like to write back to the person.

I'll bring it up to my dad, because I used his email id (I am authorized to do so). Plus, there are a lot of nice things this person did for my dad that I didn't realize.

If he forgot, and is having a happy life, that is best.

It does make sense that Karma comes back equally. For some reason I thought it came multiplied ---- even Oprah Winfrey made such statement (she believes in similar types things).

One thing I've learned from all of this (and it's even mentioned in Christianity) is that for you to receive God's blessing, your heart must be clean.

Lot of prayers ask God to come into one's heart and remove anything that is displeasing to God.

But if somehow I can have opportunity to apologize to that person, and possibly help that person and his family in some other way, I would certainly do so.....

 

Honestly I'm scared of writing a letter or sending email because what if person buried the sadness (my dad thought he was a nice person and wanted to let him down softly, explain there is no sanjog, etc), and this apology will flood him back with bad memories.

If I'm blessed with opportunity to live in India, I secretly want to do something good for him and his family. He should never know it's me.....

 

Have lot of things going on at home and job, helping out parents.

When time is right I'll ask dad about sending apology letter. Right now I feel lot of emotion and guilt because I acted poorly to someone who didn't deserve it. What is the point of educating the mind if you cannot educate the heart?

On the other hand, do you remember the "missing match" I keep referring to in previous posts. My elders thought he was too good for me even thought I liked him, and when my elders told him I rejected the match (which is not true), he kept insisting. My dad said he was scared they might come to where my wedding is taking place and cause trouble, i.e. their family was so aggressive in trying to get dad to pursue the alliance even though he said I told them "no".

In other words this "missed match" and his dirty older brother (I've seen really dirty things this married "man" of two children is openly doing on internet) didn't respect "my decision" of no, so it shows a person's intent and personality right then and there.

Well, the "missed matched" deserved the rude behavior, not the person who was nice to my dad.

Plus I see this person is making fool of women via internet (after I prayed to God a lot, God made me realize this "missed match" is a looser)

See our problem: we step on nice people, but we worship bad people.

I am just trying to pick up the pieces of fallout due to my bad judgement.


I really hope after all is said and done, this nice person will accept my apology and can still be my dad's friend, because my dad assessed this person is good at heart.

Even though the glass is shattered, I hope it can be repaired to something more beautiful than it was before.

My dad had many friends from early college days but they don't keep in touch (or rather, he doesn't feel like talking to them ....)

 

I am hoping to apologize when I am at the top of my game. That way, it won't look like, "ok, this girl thought she was top of world and was disrespectful, and now she is at bottom, she is apologizing."

I am hoping to apologize when I got things together again, i.e. Queen status.