Boss Wants Me Back…. A Secret I Didn’t Reveal Yet..

Peace of mind is more important.
I would tell the boss the reason for quitting.

 

Dear @anika987
But then think why your boss wants you back. Had she not guessed why you had left so soon? If the troubling men are in her good books... ? Is it that without your work, her company cannot achieve better bottom-line.

Peace of mind is paramount. You had left them. Politely decline your boss request and never divulge the reason behind your resigning. otherwise, in some form or other it could boomerang on you in the short run or in long term.

I was still wet behind my ears. A novice in mundane matters.

In the beginning of my career (1967-68), i happened to work in summer, in a tutorial that was preparing students for City & Guilds and AMIE. Just after a month, i expected the salary. It was first WORKING DAY of the month at noon.

The admin officer said 50% salary would be given the next saturday and balance 50% would be given only after middle of the month. I got enraged.

I & mom were depending on this salary.
I told i will meet the head and demand full salary or i shall quit. He said I can’t meet him.
I simply went upstairs and knocked the BROAD wooden partition and simultaneously Had sneak a peek. I heard giggle and shocked. The seen refused to leave my eyes and so i went to the class room and told students
“i quit”. They all asked “Why Sir?”

They pestered but i did not tell anything. But they could guess!
I had at home the institute’s costly imported technical books worth few ₹ hundreds.

The hefty tall stout admin Officer Mr DuraiRaj, came evening to my residence and in my absence he threatened mother that if i do not come and do lecture to students, i shall receive legal notice & will be saddled with cost of fighting the court case.

I ignored the threat. Luckily my dad returned from his long tour and i did receive the legal notice. My dad’s legal friend replied and got my salary rs 400 & institutes library books returned to them through lawyer.

But the real reason is not the dodging of paying salary by the institute but i saw what i should not have or ought not to have seen. My next street neighbour’s daughter -a spinster then- as steno was raising from the lap of the head who was sitting holding her in a squeaking revolving chair. This was the moment, when i was impelled to have sneak-a-peek of head’s chamber & the girls eyes met mine!

It is incredible till this day, i never breathed about this (despicable) sight to any other soul. Few days later, the girl met me in the street corner in isolation - alone - with tears gathering in her eyes with her palms glued & said just “thanks”.
I responded kindly,
“For What?”

 

A superb summing up for the thread. Delighted.
Thanks & Regards.

 

Dear @anika987

Your decision to quit is perfectly fine. Given the amount of stress and anxiety this situation has caused you, it is wise to get out of this place at least for your own sanity.

But, problems like this will never end if you chose to run away from them. They will chase you no matter how far you go.
If not this A or B, some X or Y or Z from some other place will appear and cause similar or more serious damage to your physical and mental health if you continue to run away from people/problems in your life.

Abusers don't find their preys randomly. Rather, they test the waters and find their preys based on their vulnerability.
That's why, some people are recurrently abused at home, at school, at work and in the society no matter how much they take precautions.

Your body language, the way you react to certain hints and your background tells everything what you are capable of doing. These abusers know this well.

This is how they test the water. A kind of rapid assessment on the newbie whether she can be their prey or not.

If I were you, I would have asked him to shut up!
I would have taken this matter to my supervisor right away, and made sure such talks can never happen in the office.
This is wrong, and there is no question about this.
This level of confidence make me look stronger in the eyes of others!

But, what did you do?
You did not shut him up. You did not show your anger and unacceptance. You did not reach out to your management or lodge any complain against him.
Instead, you felt hurt, worried, upset, sad, showed fear and reluctance. You were confused whether it was a joke or not. You were confused whether this kind of acts are acceptable or not. You were confused about whats and ifs!
All these emotions show how weak you are.

So, probably the predators got the hint

It is not, and this kind of words can never be a joke. period.
Why are you confused about this?
Has anyone in your family or community cracked such jokes in the past which makes you think this is also a joke? Come on!

In psychology, we call this as victim mentality.
The victims always wonder whether the abuse is right or wrong.
In particular, women in domestic violence always romanticize the abusive behavior of their husbands, and say they were doing it out of love or disciplining. Hell no!

They were not normal. Your repeated threads and posts in the past few months show things were not at all normal.
They sex chatted, talked about other women, and complimented your looks and all after assessing your vulnerability only. These are all their attempts to crack you down.
You knew it and that's why you were upset and anxious. You could not take these talks anymore and your gut feeling was constantly warning you on this. This is why you chose to resign!
But, again... you tend to normalize everything as if this was yet another passing cloud.

Had you revealed what you hided in the first post, we would have guided you towards the right course of actions that time itself. But, you tried your level best to normalize their act in public, while constantly battling within yourself.

This is called self doubt. Self doubt arises from past trauma. I remember you had discussed a lot in the past about your traumatic past, bullying, low self esteem, insecurities etc.... and hence you need validation from outsiders as you lack confidence.

The first step towards self confidence is accepting our weakness, identifying our problems and working towards them.

No one is perfect here. Everyone is battling some or the other problem in life. How you face them make you strong or weak.

Covering up our weakness to fake a normalcy doesn't help.

I know my post was harsh, and you may not like it.
But, this is what I would advice if you were my sister or daughter.
I was you... exactly you a few decades back, and such a harsh advice made me who I am today.
I want you to be stronger and prosper in life

 

#15 thumbs up!

 

Thanks for asking. It refers to
@SGBV 's reply in box #15 in this thread.