Boredom busters!

Cheeniya · Sep 28, 2011

My dear Satchi
This is the mother of all profound statements. "Where there is no difference, there is only indifference". What I endeavored to convey through a lengthy essay, you have summed up in one delightful sentence. If this is not the greatest example of brevity being the soul of wit, I would like to be shown another.

All elderly couples are like siblings and that is what Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa advocated. So did MK Gandhi. But ain't you too young for this status? Why are you trying to rush into our fold merely because a guest passed a casual remark at a wedding? Maybe she was referring to the high degree of compatibility or did she have sibling rivalry in mind?
Sri

PriyaKat · Feb 15, 2012

I am not a husband.
I am not a wife, any longer .

So your therapy was read , not as a self help manual, but as wickedly comic fiction, smiled at and passed over.

Cheeniya · Feb 17, 2012

Dear Priya
That's fair enough!
I am happy it was not passed over contemptuously but with a smile.
What more that one can ask for?
Sri

Viswamitra · Feb 19, 2012

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

So the real spice is not in the preparations of breakfast, lunch and dinner but it is in the quarrels the couples make during the day. Your recipe for happiness is certainly very unique and different. Do you also have a recipe for how to stop the lava when the eruption starts? If you are suggesting techniques to do some tongue lashing at early morning hours on a nice and unsuspecting spouse, what is going to happen if the other spouse has a natural flair for that art?

I think the two people coming from different families with different values and background itself is a challenge good enough to spice up the married life. In my opinion, only way the spouses would look like brother and sister is when one or both of them is/are mute or a Mahatma/s.

The men and women are wired differently and as it is, they are different made to spice it up for the other. I strongly recommend you to put a warning message in this blog "please do not try it at home" or at least "please try it at your own risk".

Viswa

Cheeniya · Feb 19, 2012

Dear Viswa
Once there was a cat in a residential colony which was proving itself a great nuisance. It's amorous adventures resulted in a great increase in feline population in the area and this was becoming too much for the residents. One day the Residents' Association met and resolved to castrate the playboy which was eventually done. The day after the castration, the cat had a bigger crowd of male cats sitting and listening to him intently. The castrated cat had become a consultant!

I am just a consultant in these matters. I am otherwise a very obedient husband!
Sri

Megalife · Feb 19, 2012

Hi Sir Cheeniya
Well....we'll....that was a platter full....way too much to digest....as a continuation to ur OP....I have a few tips up my sleeves too:-
1)response to the first tip, have your earphones plugged while having breakfast , this will be your safety valve against his blabbering and will succeed to irk him to get his BP to a 210/infinity.
2) start talking about rebates, sale, Saree bonanza...down town, even better announce the date and time to peak traffic hours. Make it clear that he drives. You may add how exclusive the collection is and even the neighbour (Shanta...or xyz some lady he hates the most) was all goooo..gooo...gaga..gaga over the Saree collection.
3)As a side-remark you may add how dashing MR. Xyz(again carefully choose someone he despises the most) looks and what a gentleman he is.
4) if he still maintains his sanity , tell him his sis/mom/father have a terrible sense of dressing/hospitality...whatever, doesn't matter because he won't be listening further....... his fuse will go off by
the opening words " your mom/sis/dad have horrible".....
Happy trial.....make sure you are insured and the expensive bone-china, crystals in the house are insured as well
before following these tips...for emergencies plz. call collect 800CHEENIYA
Mega

Cheeniya · Feb 19, 2012

Dear Megalife
During my school days, we were made to write stories and state the moral thereof. That was a time when every story had to have a moral. I was not good at story telling but was great in deducing the morals thereof. My friends would come to me and request me to find a suitable moral from the stories they had written and I never failed to oblige them. So this story of yours deserves the moral 'Tit for tat' underlined twice.

Now coming to your recipe, in some cases, the ear phone trick may not work if the men concerned were quite adept in their body language. I know a husband who irritates his wife by merely laughing at her clutching his sides for no reason.
In the saree shop, make an adverse comment on each selection which can range from 'Don't tell me you are going to wear that saree! Are you going for a sweeper's interview in any nationalised bank?' to 'You'll look like an Egyptian mummy a picture of which Aruna had sent me last week saying it was reported lost and the Interpol is busy looking for it everywhere!'
The moment she mentions the handsome XYZ, start laughing uncontrollably and pay her rich compliments for the best joke of the year. If needed, one may imitate some of his mannerisms and laugh a lot more
When she mentions the sense of dressing of your parents, tell her in all humility that you are grateful to her parents from whom they acquired this new taste. Start laughing five minutes after saying this.
Sri