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Books Helpful In Dealing With Life Situations

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Sep 12, 2016.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Agree with that, madras2018. Perhaps, this is even more true in the past 10-20 or 25 years, as we more and more live away from parents and others who used to be the typical support sources.

    Would be great if all share books that have helped them dealing with relationship issues, or just to improve or refresh OK relationships. Why the book worked for you? What parts of it needed tweaking? Sometimes, books by foreign authors, take some mental processing to apply to Indian relationships.
     
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  2. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    I am big fan of Dr Wayne Dyer books, read most of his earlier books.

    I felt that one of the practical book I ever read was, "The Ten Commitments: Translating Good Intentions into Great Choices by Dr David Simon (2006)".

    Reading a book may or may not help unless a person is tuned into listening mood or searching for something that is missing in their life. It needs a commitment to change the life style/behavioral pattern in their life.

    About 10 years ago, I read lot of the books from our local library related to spiritual, motivational topics. I may not have grasped all, but I clearly understood one thing....I have to accept the life and no one can make me feel happy. Happiness has to come from inside and the feeling of complete or fulfilled/satisfied about life. Happiness is not only receiving love and giving love to someone without excepting none in return also makes you feel much happier than receiving it.

    Bottom line... I need to be more patience to feel peaceful.
     
  3. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    I am reading,"How to Win Friends and Influence People". Still takes lot of conscious effort. Recommend reading few times a year.

    Next book will be "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"
     
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  4. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Can we start a book club where each month we

    1. Read a book
    2. Create thread and share info on how book helped us

    Moderator please chime in
     
  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    so true.. Has to come from inside.

    I too used to read a lot of books at one time. I think the first book I read along these lines in the U.S. was Men are from Mars..... Some parts stood out, and it used to be cool to refer to the book, or to understand what Mars/Venus meant while talking with friends, colleagues..

    I am unable to offhand recall any book that had a big impact. One that I liked to read was Maya Angelou's Mom & Me & Mom. Though this was more to reassure that being bad at one relationship at one time, doesn't make you bad at that for ever.
     
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  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I used to read it long time ago. Partly to keep dad happy, and partly to kill the boredom of Sunday afternoons and summer holidays. Even then, I used to find his advice dated, not applicable to life beyond the 1980s. Do you feel in this age of fast life, busyness, and short memories, and social media, internet, some of Carnegie's advice is just too goody-goody?

    One particular phrase from that book that has stayed in my mind all these decades is: be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise. Somehow, I am wary of people who are very quick or generous with praise.

    I've taken a quick look at the version for teens. - 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. Made for some fun, light reading.
     
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  7. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Well, approbation and praise it has to sound genuine. For that, we have to ask ourselves if we are in other person's shoes, how would we act an feel.

    Two things resound with me
    1. Keep notebook to jot down interactions. Write what was good, what was bad, what you can improve, what you can learn.
    2. Try to understand person's point of view before disagreeing with them. Be diplomatic. That works even today, especially in work environment

    Still on page 125...
     
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  8. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    https://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Win-step-achievers/dp/9382951717

    You can Win by shiv Khera , read 15 years ago . Helped me in my job search that time. I read other two books also by same author

    Don't say yes when you want to say no. By dale Carnegie, read 15 years ago helped in being assertive,

    Read 3 years ago, "lean in " by Sheryl sandberg . About how women don't sit at the table in the meetings, don't convey their thoughts directly but discuss to a male colleagues sitting next to them , they convey the same and get praised. All this women do to not further their career , and also women's or other colored people advice is ignored etc .
    Also how to build home side support system etc. I liked it.

    I liked Oprah Winfrey book , what I know for sure. Simple book good life lessons.

    In between I read several personality development books and I have good collection with me. And books gave good +be effect on me . I still remember few sentences from those books.

    I have to thank my elder brother who introduced me to this, he also had lot of books and I used to read his books first when we were living in my. parents home. We got reading habit from mom and dad they always used to read something in free time.
     
  9. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

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    Wow Rihanna this is gonna be my fav thread on IL. Recently went through some threads in relationships forum which left me very sad and I wanted to fwd some books to the ops of those threads. I take refuge in books all the time and I have always been guided really well by books. Although I am not a big fan of reading books online but still kindle and i books come in very handy when you just can't wait for you fav book to read. My favs have been

    your life in your hands by DR Krishan chopra(deepak chopras father)

    The game of life and how to play it, Your word is your wand. these are some master pieces written by Florence shivel shin about a century back. I really wish everyone reads these and apply them in real life.

    Ask and it's given by Abraham hicks.

    Your erroneous zones and almost Many other books by dr Wayne dyer.

    I can't remember the name of that book but it was men and women something similar to men are from Mars. It gave me a clear picture why women give silent treatments and some men just shut themselves during an argument. That book gave a huge insight why my husband used just turn his switch off during an argument. Thank god to these books we rarely have any arguments these days, when I am trying to get my point across and he is not getting it rather than keep on fighting about it I just let it go, blaming the men and women biological difference. Things seem to fall back on places right after I back out.

    The cosmic energizer by Joseph murphy. Taught me the importance of prayer and trusting the divine.

    Some religious master pieces by Joseph benner.

    Excuse me your life is waiting.

    The power of positive thinking.

    Thoughts of wisdom for 365 days by Leo Tolstoy.

    The big red book About Rumi

    Some of the poetry books of Kahlil Gibran and tulsidas can't remember names of those books.

    Some Buddhist books

    Change your aura change your life by Barbara Y Martin

    There are still many more. There have been many parenting books as well which made me an easy going mother. Thanks to the local libraries. I truely beleiv that the result lies in the application but still some books have such good energies that they make you feel better jus by keeping them around or even after you read a few pages. I have really evolved as a person. My life has become so good. Nothing's really disturbes me now (yes even in laws issues) and all the credit for that goes to these books.
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2016
  10. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    The monk who sold his ferari made a huge difference to me - for a few weeks. Also Family Wisdom, also by Robin Sharma.

    The transactional analysis book I'm ok, you're ok that I'd read as a teenager came in really handy later in life when I had to get a handle on random dramatic situations.

    Atlas shrugged was one fiction book which had the maximum impact on me. Taught me to take care of myself; and assured the rest will fall into place - it really did fall into place.

    Various chick-lits by British and Irish authors also dealt with very many prevalent but usually undiscussed issues effectively and in a very funny manner.
    Marian Keyes's Walsh sisters series was laugh-out-loud funny, at the same time excellent dealing with relationships, loss and depression too.
    Milly Johnson has some very gentle reads dealing with abuse, conflict, misunderstandings which could help clear the "fog" some may be caught in.

    Losing the "Indian view" of relationships could help one grow as a person. I for one realised that the views I was brought up with need not define or confine me. Yes, they were probably quite right for another place, another time but I have evolved past that. There is nothing wrong with them. Or me. If it doesn't work for me, it is out. Once my expectations / standards for myself became more evolved, life did become better. Touch wood!
     

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