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Blonde Jokes............

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Arunarc, Nov 5, 2007.

  1. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and then today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo,...........just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. Guess I won that stupid argument. I bet he felt like an idiot.
    ______________________________<WBR>____________________
    <TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 1.5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 1.5pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 1.5pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-TOP: 1.5pt" width="100%">

    There are two sisters, one is blonde and the other is brunette and they

    inherit the family farm. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in

    financial trouble.



    In order to keep the bank from repossessing the farm, they need to purchase

    a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own

    stock. They only have $600 left.



    Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.&quot;\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>wants to buy it.**The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>telegram to tell her the news.\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>She walks into the telegraph office, and says, &quot;I want to send a telegram\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our farm. I need her\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>to hitch the trailer to our*truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.&quot;\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>",1]);//--></SCRIPT>

    to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."



    The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she

    wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.



    After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a

    telegram to tell her the news.



    She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram

    to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our farm. I need her

    to hitch the trailer to our truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
    <SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, and then\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>adds, &quot;It's just 99 cents a word.&quot; \u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left.**She\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, &quot;I want you to send\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>* her the word 'comfortable'.&quot;**The operator shakes his head.\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>&quot;How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>",1]);//--></SCRIPT>


    The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, and then

    adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."



    Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She

    realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.



    After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send

    her the word 'comfortable'." The operator shakes his head.



    "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to

    <SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","your ute and drive out here, to haul that bull back to your farm**if\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>you send her just the word 'comfortable'?&quot;\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>The brunette explains, &quot;My sister's blonde.**It's a big word.**She'll\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Arial\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt;font-family:Arial\"\>read it very slowly . com - for - da - bul.&quot;\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cdiv\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin-bottom:0pt\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\u003c/td\>\u003c/tr\>\u003c/tbody\>\u003c/table\>\u003c/div\>\u003c/div\>\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\" size\u003d\"3\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12pt\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003c/div\>\u003c/blockquote\>\u003c/div\>\n",0]);//--></SCRIPT>your ute and drive out here, to haul that bull back to your farm if

    you send her just the word 'comfortable'?"



    The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. It's a big word. She'll

    read it very slowly . com - for - da - bul."
     
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