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Bittersweet moments..

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by kkrish, Mar 10, 2011.

  1. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Due to length, I posted this in 2 parts .Please read part I before reading this.
    The reason I am recalling that moment now is my younger son (K2).

    While in high school the conversations between my husband and him would usually be like this:

    DH: “When did you last get a haircut?”
    K2: “last month….”
    DH:”no…I don’t think so…it can’t’ have grown so long so soon..”
    K2:”okay…, okay, about two months ago...”
    DH: “Schools should not allow if hair is longer than…”
    K2: “Dad, Einstein didn’t get a haircut...”
    DH: “The day you win a Nobel Prize like Einstein, you can stop cutting your hair...”
    K2: “Dad why do you keep bothering me on this haircut…?”
    DH: “I am your father and my role in your and your brother’s life is exclusively to bother you! Actually the original word was ‘Bother’...the British could not pronounce ‘B’ properly; so they made it “Father”

    After all this enlightening conversation it would take about two weeks before K2 would venture to the barbers; that too only after I’ve lifted the upside down mop two or three times to find his eyes!

    There were many such conversations, between K2 and us, ranging anywhere between the importance of education to good grooming.

    Now he is a college freshman and is home for Spring break.

    Monday evening!
    I go home from work to the news that his friend (suitemate) (M) and a couple of his friends were to drop in on their way home from another place.
    Immediately I rustled up some noodles which all ate with gusto and finished off with some cake! All three were extremely nice young people! M was genuinely touched and kept expressing his thanks over and over again! He was so polite and friendly that both my husband and I took a liking to him and were glad that our son was his friend!

    They took leave and we were having our dinner when K2 told that M was from a very poor family. His mother does not live with him and his dad has no stable job. It seems M’s is a very intelligent and bright kid and he is determined, encouraged by his father, to become an engineer! It seems that night M had no home to go to and was going to stay at his friend’s.

    I was totally devastated to hear this and my heart went crying for this lovely child; I cried for the unfairness in his tender life-imagine all the pain and hurt this young man must have gone through as a child; my respect for this young man grew ten-fold when I recalled that he never wallowed in self-pity, instead held himself with dignity while he was here.


    Then through my tears I heard this:

    K2: “Dad after making friends with M I realized how lucky I am to have you and mom”
    DH: “…”
    K2: “I used to think home was imprisoning me with so many advices, but now I know you were really guiding me in the right path”
    DH: “…”
    D2: “I am sorry Dad, I used to argue with you; I now realize that you taught me so much. I will never argue with you Dad”

    This was the moment I realized my second boy also had grown up! Forever!

    Yesterday when I returned home my husband was asking where K2 was? In few minutes K2 walks down, fresh from the shower after his haircut!
    Bittersweet indeed!
     
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2011
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  2. DNM

    DNM Silver IL'ite

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    Awww. That was very touching. I loved your DH's zanny sense of humour! It must be such a wonderful thing when a child grows up and thanks the parents... My heart goes out to M and all kids in this world who have no parents or parents of any consequnce. Your kids are lucky indeed to have you and your DH as role models. I really hope you will invite M regularly over for meals and family time.
     
  3. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks DNM
    Wow!That was pretty fast! I had just made some corrections and checking if it looked right.

    I don't know if I can invite M home that often; he lives quite far away. But we have decided to help him in other ways - in finding summer internships where my husband works, etc!
     
  4. DNM

    DNM Silver IL'ite

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    Cool! Really nice of you!
     
  5. kAlyaniShAnti

    kAlyaniShAnti IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamala,
    so loving post. Firstly, because the way you narrated, the over all flow of the incidents - so picturesque! Very talented a story-teller you are :bowdown

    And secondly, the incident itself! Very touching. The conversation between the fa-son is superb (both the first one and the last set)!

    M must have his ways through life to success.My best wishes to him.
     
  6. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear kamala, indeed you and hubby have done a wonderful job rasing your kids - for not only turning out the way they are, but for recognising what difference family made to them and going ahead and expressing that! That speaks volumes about your kids and more so about you, as parents. parenting is the most difficult job and we never know if we have done right till the kids grow up and eventually become parents themselves!

    BTW .....I always thought you had kids younger than that :)
     
  7. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamala,
    so loving post. Firstly, because the way you narrated, the over all flow of the incidents - so picturesque! Very talented a story-teller you are :bowdown
    Thank you very much KalyaniShanti! I am honored!

    And secondly, the incident itself! Very touching. The conversation between the fa-son is superb (both the first one and the last set)!

    Thanks! I must admit my husband has way with words! He also has a knack of ocnveying the message the right way a the right time. I still am learning a lot from him...

    M must have his ways through life to success.My best wishes to him.

    Sure. I am sure with all your wishes M will be a successful young man.
     
  8. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear kamala, indeed you and hubby have done a wonderful job rasing your kids - for not only turning out the way they are, but for recognising what difference family made to them and going ahead and expressing that! That speaks volumes about your kids and more so about you, as parents. parenting is the most difficult job and we never know if we have done right till the kids grow up and eventually become parents themselves!

    Thank you Sabitha! First for your immediate FB and secondly for your compliments! The credit goes to my husband! As a human being he may have faults but as a father I must say my sons are very fortunate!

    I agree parenting is the most difficult and sometimes we wish the kids came with a instructions booklet!

    BTW .....I always thought you had kids younger than that :)

    Ha! This statement I like the most and you are my newest bestest friend :cheers!
     
  9. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    dear kamala,

    such a touching and tender narration. yes, it is indeed a bittersweet moment when parents realize that their children are now grown ups - no longer the babies that clung to their legs demanding to be picked up - and now realize the value of their parents - what a gratifying moment that must be. congratulations on bringing up your two boys to be such fine young men.

    as for M, yes, my heart goes out him. but i must say, his misfortune has done nothing to damage his personality. rather he shines like a polished diamond. i wonder whether his parents could have done a better job than that. i agree that he does not live close by to have him over often, but your plans to help him out with his work and career is indeed laudable. i am sure he will really appreciate any help he gets in that direction.
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamala,

    The converstation between hubby and son is just too good.Bother to father eh !

    And about M, and yr sons, and yr son acknowledging that he is grateful to the two of u, really touched me.

    They are gems, made of pure gold.Where do u get these kind of good boys these days eh !

    They say, the real wealth of a person is his or her good children, and i guess by those standards u are billionaires.

    god bless u all, may there be happeinss always in yr life.

    Regards

    kamal
     

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