BIL from hell... a vent

Isn't this the guy who called your son "Autistic " ? Isn't it already pretty evident to your husband and FIL why you have nothing to do with that dude anymore ? I feel you owe no explanation to anyone .

 

Seriously ....What kind of stupid excuse is that.Your father should cheer your PIS bil????
Your in laws take the cake when it comes to ridiculousness .

You can tell fil that you will talk to him separately.
Then calmly tell him all that his nasty elder son has been up to.Tell him he is harming your marriage and if fil has goodwill for your married life,then he will not interfere in your attempts to keep piece in your marriage.

Tell him you are not against the brothers having a relationship,but you won't be a part of it because you are sure that your bil wants to hurt you,your marriage and now your child.If required...remind him of what happened to your husband's first marriage.

Don't worry about your fil's feelings....if you want this unfair pressure to end.As for your husband....is there a guarantee that if you spare your words now....he will stand by you against the evil bil?

And tell your father everything in private.Tell him you don't want him to interfere.He should just tell fil to not involve him in matters that he cannot control .He can say he has talked to you but your behavior is a reaction to abuse and since he has no control over that....there is not much he can do.

As for Bil....no matter what....never ever let your guard down.That creature is pure evil.

 

Dear op,

When you go against the tide expect to have a tough time.The only way to win the situation is to be frank about your reservation and refuse to back off.You cant expect your DH to cheerfully support you against his families opposition( how much we long for it doesnt count).Ignore his gloomy face to do the necessary arrangements.Dont make the mistake of opening yourself for negotiation to lose the hard won protection ring.Its natural for your BIL to try everything in his power to smash your protection ring.

Be frank with your FIL ,tell him unless they arrange the BILs marriage you are not ready to back off from your resolution(give them the tough task).Explain to him and put in record how BIL is after to destroy your marriage and tell him how he names your son(this will make your BIL back off from doing something to your marriage). Be frank in telling that you are not ready to deal with his frustrated tandrum of unmarried status.Telling truth is better than trying to find a way out.

You cant make your Dh happy while you go against his dear bro.Just be careful not to get yourself in a negotiating position.Declare yourself and move on.Like YM suggested ask your F to not interfere and find a reason to get himself out of such a situation.

 

Yes !!! I thought I have seen it all when it comes to ridiculous ideas from many in laws regarding how DIL and her family should be ...But this is just :wowSUPER RIDICULOUS !!!

 

Ignore that jerk..
he calls your son names and now he is dying to attend your DS's birthday party.. yeh baat kuch hajam nahi hui...
and tell your father to stay out of this...

 

Tell what you feel about Bil to your fil if he asks. You have valid reasons to be vary of him . If everything is open it is better for everyone.IF you BIL apologises , accept it with grace but do mention if he is back to his antiques , you are free to ignore him and any amount of apologising then will not work.

 

If anyone knew what your bil has done in reality to hurt you, no one in their right mind will ask you to speak to that sad sack of bones! Please dont get sucked into it. If your fil asks, tell him that you dont want to speak to a man who does not understand your son's situation and makes fun of it. As a grandfather how can you expect me to forgive this ??!!

 

Why is your father being dragged into your ILs' issues? whaatsmiley Why are there any expectations placed upon him at all? and who are your PILs to expect your father to stay away from coming to your home when he or you wishes?

Is your FIL aware of everything your BIL has done? If not, it's high time to list it all point by point and tell him you've exhausted your efforts to no avail and you are not obligated to owe anything else to anyone. This is not an explanation but rather, let him be aware.