Big Fight

i second that. :thumbsup. very pertinent question.

 

the ILs here have been giving you such wonderful support and suggestions, but after having followed your thread, i dont see anywhere you have made any efforts to bring a change.. everytime you stress yourself out and then things move on , you appease your mil & DH and then the cycle starts..

you need to remove the mil from the picture.. tell your husband, its he whos responsible.. if he wants to you get involved, then you will do it your way and you wont care for the ensuing drama.. your husband is no saint and hes the root cause & encouraging your mils dramas..
i second the rrecent post where these demands are likened to dowry harrasment.. it is.. expecting and ordering your parents to dance to their demands is dowry harrasment.. you should have put a stop to this earlier, but then based on your earlier inputs it very much looked like it was all your IL's doing and your DH was on your side..
but dear your recent few posts really shows otherwise and i felt really disheartened to see you facing this situation at this stage of your life..

you can take care of yourself and your child.. Can yuour DH promise that he can do that to you both?? you need to put your foot down.. seriously.. esle your child is going to grow up in this situation & you really dont want that for your child right???
your first priority is yourself and your child.. your DH would come in that only if he behaves as a husband should & take care of his family rather than put ridicluous demands...
Take care of yourself and do take heed of the n number of pages that ILs have written to you..

 

I have to just give heads up to folks here...Please understand that Akruti is not starting a new thread everytime she has an issue or doubt or worry.....she is updating the same old thread she started months back....one way its good because we can keep track of the incideents and the pattern of those incidents....Please give some benefit of doubt and please be patient with her, as she is pregnant and this is not the time to make any major decisions or to REFORM inlaws or husband. All this should have happened before someone gets pregnant...and usually during pregnancy most of them see issues in a much worrisome way rather than the real weight of the problem.. Be considerate of the health and wellbeing of the mother to be and hte baby...getting her BP high and making her feel vulnerable or helpless EVEN wont help ....We have to understand the background and capabilities of a person before we actually suggest them to REFORM people overnight. Its so easy to say you have to tell your husband, tell your inlaws , stand up for yourself etc...its easy to say..but tough to do for some people...depends on what situation the other person is...so i really appreciate if people just give their opinion and move on, rather than make OP feel more helpless that too at this stage of her pregnancy.What ever she posted in this thread so far, was posted only after her pregnancy.so lets wait up atleast till she has a safe delivery and both mom and baby are healthy enough. its not nice to target her inefficiency to tackle her husband at this time.

Atleast lets be those friends who listen to everything whether good / bad that she feels. atleast she can talk to someone without any inhibitions or worries and share her thoughts to unburden herself once in a while..would really help her alot to cope up with the pregnancy hormones and stress.

 

srividya, i for one (and am pretty sure others too) is not asking her take drastic actions as of today or tomorrow.. but asking her to pay heed to some of the wonderful suggestions you all have given painstakingly.. she needs a break from all this stress and she needs it for the well being of herself and the child shes carrying.. tahts why i finally made a comment because the cycle is never ending.. but atleast with the latest developements we find that the cause is mainly nearer to home than she or us realised, so theres more hope.. rather than trying to deal with a drama queen mil so far away and still influencing her mental peace so much, she can talk it out with her DH & try to bring some sort of releif at this stage, which is what she very badly requires..
how much can she stress like this ? its really not good for her health & she reallly needs to act now before the stress causes more harm/complications.. that was the only reason for asking her to put her foot down atleast with her DH.. hes emotionally blackmailing and if she like you had mentioned in a previous post come right out and say that she can manage on her own, then atleast till her baby is born she can be spared of some additional drama..
There are n number of indian families who live abroad and manage just fine with no family help with their first or additional children.. Akruti has had more tha her share of troubles and she really needs to take care of her now.. thats why asking her to try and get rid of the causes for the upcoming dramas..

 

Wow ! Special guidelines to stick to before giving our opinion.
Why not just add a approve/dispprove feature & just censor away all comments moderators think are not appropriate in the given situation.

I understand the need for compassion, but still...............

JMO.

 

Akruti - Your parents have a very valid point, gifts cannot be forced, that just is no longer a gift, it is another subtler form of dowry (demanded).

We can only give our opinions to you Akruti, it is upto you what you take and how you implement it or not.

 

where is akruti these days? what happened to her and the baby?