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BF's bad food habits: Concerned about his health

Discussion in 'Indian Diet & Nutrition' started by Letmehavefun, May 10, 2010.

  1. Letmehavefun

    Letmehavefun New IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    I have a problem...my boyfriend (BF) says I am blowing things out of proportion, but I don't think so...

    Please read on and bear me with this lengthy post...

    My BF likes to have only meat (chicken) in his lunch and dinner these days. I frequently visit his house and found that he is going on to extremes in having NV daily. I know he likes to NV than Veggies. But at least he used to eat potato and other veggy fries earlier.

    His diet until he joined engg was healthy enough. Since his grandparents don't like to have NV, his mother used to not cook often. It used to be once in a week/fortnight. She told me once that there were never tantrums from his side even if she cooked carrot or birnjal or any other wet veggy items. If he hadn't liked the dish, he just not ate more. From childhood he
    loves to have only chicken meat if it is NV. Prawns is his next preference and then its mutton/keema while fish comes last of all. But he was never crazy about having NV as he is now. Overall, it was not so good diet that he had till then, but it was okay-okay until he completed class 12 as he was never malnutritioned and didnot have medical problems.

    After class 12, he stayed away from parents with friends for grads and it seems his neighbours shared their dishes with these guys whenver it was chicken in anybody's house. It was like every other day, they used to have chicken and that the habit of having veggies almost ended. He used to be lean and almost bony-like howmuchever he ate until then. But once he
    started to have chicken and gymming on a regular basis, he started to develop some muscle and he was happy for that.

    After engg, he was back home. Then aunty (his mom) used to cook veggies as their usual practice and now he started to complain, 'Why do u always try to put me on veggies? I am not a goat to have all leaves.' If it were potatoes and Ivy gourd (Dondakaya), he used to have meals, else it has to be chicken or egg (any recipe) for sure. Aunty wanted his grown-up son to eat stomach-ful. She intially turned back all his tantrums that it is a bad habit to eat NV daily or just potatoes. But he used to protest by not eating lunch or he used to get curry parceled from counters outside. She gave up and thot its beter to have home-made food, be it chicken or egg or potato daily and cooked only those dishes for his sake at least.

    He is working for an MNC for the past 3 yrs now and these days, for last 2-3 months to be specific, he started to complain if it is potato or dondakaaya. He gets a fry and some dal (combi may be a vegetable or leafy vegetable) daily in his dabba. In case the fry is a veggie one, he immediately goes out to the cafe on the campus and gets a chicken roll and eats the dal with rice along with roll (bought for taste...in telugu nanju).

    I have been telling him all these days (for the past 3 yrs time) thru that having chicken daily affects ur health to a very bad extent. " Now u r just 23, so u may nt feel or expect any health problem coming as u r young and energetic. Having chicken increases ur cholestrol levels due to the animal fat and both of them (chicken and dal) being protein-rich food, unused or
    unprocessed protiens get stored as fat in the body." I have been telling him the same since I met him as a friend before we loved each other. He always pays a deaf ear to me reg his diet habits.

    And yesterday it was heights. His aunt (BF's father's sister) cooked egg (whole egg, with a thot that whoever doesnt want to have yolk may remove it off and have only only white). He said he doesn't want to have lunch since there's no chicken. After so much of pleading and since he was hungry, he gave in ate the egg curry. But at dinner time, he didnot eat egg curry
    even if he was hungry. He had just curd rice. He told us that he was very hungry and but stil he would have only curd rice since there is no chicken. I was just shocked!!!!

    Not just this, he doesn't drink enough water. Max he drinks 0.5-1 litre even in this scorching heat. He doesn't feel like drinking even in this damn hot summer as he sits and works in AC.

    He drinks lots of soft drinks. A 600ml at least once in two days.

    He doesn't eat fruits. I mean, if we offer him after peeling off or watever, he eats and that too not all of them. He is very selective at eating fruits also. And his mother buys only bananas once in a week. So, he doesn't have a chance to eat rest of the fruits as he doesnt buy them by himself. If he comes out for shopping for froecries with me, I buy him fruits of at least 2-3 varieties with a thot that he eats them at least once in a month. But that is also no use. He puts them in fridge and his mother is also least bothered to peel them off and give him to eat.

    His mother buys whole milk packets in which the fat is more than 12%. She has high levels of cholestrol (282mg/dl). I told her that its not good practice as consuming whole milk or its products directy deposits lots fat and cholestrol. She says other grades of milk are not tasty and that curd doesn't taste nice. This guy doesn't have milk or tea or coffee (happy for not
    having hot beverages). He eats curds @ dinner time only. High-fat curd at bedtimes :( But thats the only way he consumes milk products.

    He adds considerable amount of salt while having curd which irritates me a lot as consuimg high amounts of salt daily is a very bad practice.

    His body type is something like, even if he takes high-fat/calorie foods like chicken and soft drinks on a daiy basis, he doesn't put on weight proportionally even if his physical activity is very sedentary. If it were me with such lifestyle, I would have put on 4-5 kgs within 3-4 wks of time. He occasionally plays cricket for 2 hrs once in a month (max). No other physical
    activity apart from this.

    He measures 5'8" and weighs 68-70kg. Accepted he is weighing ideally. I fear once he is in his 30s he will start encountering health problems.

    His father passed away last year when he was 55 due to cardiac arrest. He used to drink a lot and we believe all his heart-related problems are owing to that dirty habit.

    One of his father's sisters has diabeties.

    BF's mother had more than mild paralytic attack owing to high BP.

    Keeping in mind my BF's family's medical history, I beg him to change his food habits like not adding salt to curd, drinking at least 2.5-3 litres of water/day, having NV only once in a wk (one or two egg whites daily if he wants to have NV), eating more veggies and fruits. But, alas!!! All my lectures to him reg health go in vain. He just hears to me but never listens and puts them in practice.

    He soemtimes says, when I drink good amount of water, he can concentrate well on his work and admits that water is very essential for health. But he hardly drinks at least 2ltrs/day at least once in a month.

    I got frustrated after watching his behavior last nite and told him today morning that its beter we breakup than me staying with a guy who is going to start chakkars to the hospitals in a very near future. I told him I cant take all tensions weeping over his ill health just bcz of his dirty diet practices. I told so just to create serious mood to let him introspect and hoping him to come up with a positive change.

    He is not trying to understand the situation in return says I am exaggerating things. He tried to convince me but at the same time he says he can't change his food habits just for my sake. He says nothing bad is going to happen if continues with these food habits. He also says if I keep on digging the issue its better to break up as I proposed him earlier.

    I am unable to take this as he is such a nice guy in all other aspects; loves me a lot; doesn't drink and smoke. Takes care of me. I am looking forward for those happy times when I start to share my life with him in near days to go. But he sounds rigid.

    I just cant lose him for this issue but I want him to change at any chance. May he take time..perhaps 1 year...but I want him to change finally.

    Please suggest me what I can do to bring in a change in his food habits and lifestyle. I am very much concerned about his health.


    PS: Thank you for reading til the end with patience.
    Last edited: May 10, 2010

  2. Moumita1

    Moumita1 Silver IL'ite

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    Hello Karthika,

    Just because someone we love has a different food habit than us, does not always make us correct and them wrong. My husband too eats or likes to eat things which I dont like. We have a saying in hindi, Aap ruchi khana, meaning one must eat what one likes. So my advice is go easy on him. I am sure your relationship is more importat than changing his food habits. If you lose your relationship on this ground, will it be worth the effort of trying to change him? My advice is accept him as he is. Trying to change him will not do your relation any good.


  3. cuppcake

    cuppcake Gold IL'ite

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    Dear OP

    I agree with Moumita that you accept people as they are, but your boyfriend seems to have fallen into a pattern of easy neglect and bad food habits. It is surely your concern that a person you love has forgotten how to love himself and now needs your help. Its good to see that you're making efforts to persuade him to adopt a healthier lifestyle. You cannot remain so indifferent as he is a part of your future as well.

    However, its not working. I think you could persuade him to atleast see a nutritionist and a doctor who could tell him in concrete terms how badly this will affect him long term. The doctor could explain better and maybe even convince him. He needs to be strictly 'warned" by a health professional.

    Have faith. If people can given up smoking and drinking, your boyfriend can also change to a healthy life.

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