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better communication between the husband and wife

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sandhyavr, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. sandhyavr

    sandhyavr New IL'ite

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    i have been married for 11 years now and my husband is a very nice person. caring, loving and gving. all but not communicating properly. i have always faced challengesin my married life andi agree that i am a short tempered person. my husband is the person to instigate me. when i say i am angry and want to be left alone he instigates me more and that irritates me more. i want him to understand what i am going through. i now have two children and one of them who is 6 is not well. at this time hardship i want him to communicate and share with me his emotions. i have to tell him everything as what to do and what not to do. it's not that he would not have made plans but he just wants me to tellhim and he finally says he is doing everything according to what i like. i am so frustrated. when i am in front of him he does not even talk to me unless necessary and when i am not around he tells everyone that it is very boring without me and the kids(rightnow we are in a diff place for the son's treatment). i just don't understand him. it's not that he does not buy stuff for me or he stops me fromd oing what i like. he does not open him mouth to talk. he does not talk at all. i wonder why. but with others he talks well. even with my children he is very good and a good dad. and when i tell him that communication is imp he tells he does not have anyting to talk. when he comes home he is in front of the tv or the laptop. i am frustrated. pl. helpp
     
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  2. fragrance

    fragrance New IL'ite

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    I think you need to make ur dh understand how badly this is affecting u. basically men do not like to communicate much and we women tend to talk a lot. its just the way we are made.
    but if this is bothering u a lot, just tell me. maybe he can start communicating little by little. dont expect changes at once.

    all the best
     
  3. srivatsa

    srivatsa New IL'ite

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    sandhya,

    Don't take me wrong, this is just my assumption.but when rest of the family,friends and kids are happy with him, i guess u should also analyse about you. Probably your expectations are too much , though he is communicating with you, you are not happy with that. some how i feel the problem is not one sided.

    Take care.
    Regards
    Sri.
     
  4. padmavathi m

    padmavathi m Silver IL'ite

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    dear sandhya

    i too have faced this with my husband. but i have learnt to keep cool only after spoiling bonkmy health, always irritated, frustrated Rantand what not.................. but now i dont bother, may be muy maturity level has increased i believe
    i have accepted him as he is ...............
    so now i dont feel bad about him at all. when we start accepting each person with their good and bad we will never feel bad.
    so please keep yourself coooooooooooooooooool :coffee and calm dear

    love
    padma
     
  5. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    You need to understand that men and women are wired differently. Women like to show their emotions but men do not feel comfortable about openly showing their feelings. Society, biology make-up could be a reason. Secondly not everybody expresses their love by talking. From my personal experience past history might also play a part. Sometimes we may have not reacted in a mature way to some issues and husbands try to be careful about what they are talking. Each person is different. So it could also be just their personality.

    If you feel your husband is not communicating try to find out common interests and talk about them. For example if he is interested about sports or stock market or work try to also get interested in those areas to him. It is easier for men to talk about such topics then about emotional issues. When we start complaining to them about how we are feeling they get no clue about it and it only gets worse. I hope this helps.

    Thanks,
    Kavya.
     
  6. vs2

    vs2 New IL'ite

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    hi ,

    wel kavya men are different as if hunband loves her wife and he don't like to show her
    he is hoping somewer she knows how much I love her , and women needs importance and praises for her beauty . women need to listen every hour I love you darz I miss you and blah blah , if any women try to understand male chemistry she is happy in her life , and chemistry is simple just once try to think like male and ur gainer that's the only formula

    regards vipin
     

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