betrayed and confused

OP, I cannot even begin to imagine how terrible and painful this must be for you. Seeing the number of posts you've made and the hours at which you've made them, your agitation is very apparent. You need the support of friends. Is there anyone other than your parents whom you can confide in? A close friend, a colleague, someone who can hear you out and maintain your confidence. Someone whose judgment you trust.

Other posters have the right to say what they want since this is an open forum, but you have the right to ignore them. No one can tell you what to do or not to do. If this is your only outlet, don't shut it off. While Internet counseling will not do much to ease the process of making peace with your predicament, if you have absolutely no one to turn to, venting here is better than internalizing everything and driving yourself nuts. I hope you find some peace soon.