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betrayed and confused

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by bruised234, Oct 25, 2015.

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  1. Nov 3, 2015 #61
    priyanka12345

    priyanka12345 Silver IL'ite

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    stop.. your husband is very smart . do not do anything for now. he knows you are trying to catch him redhanded and he will never allow that to happen. Do you really think following up on him like that will make him near you. Either he is seriously having an affair or he is making it up because he wants to trouble you.

    if he is having affair its not in your hands other than catch him and take action.
    but if its other one you can ignore it for sometime and check.

    So now you need to show him that you are so indifferent that you are not bothered where he goes etc. dont call him every now and then to seek his whereabouts.he should feel that you are not trying to find anything . then he will be a little free person and might make some mistake or give hint to you.

    engross yourself with kid and office without any focus on him. I think this is only way to find out what is he upto.
     
    priyanka12345, Nov 3, 2015
    priyanka12345, Nov 3, 2015
    #61
    1 person likes this.
  2. Nov 3, 2015 #62
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op.....forgive me for writing this ,but you are like a dream woman(victim) for a psychopath abuser. Almost like, made for each other.

    More than a husband,you need some counseling on getting your self respect and esteem .Seriously,forget about him for sometime and work on yourself.You have bigger problems than a cheating husband.If he is a cheater....he will still be doing it a few months/years from now...you really can't stop it. Work on yourself and deal with him when you are stronger.

    Best Wishes.
     
    yellowmango, Nov 3, 2015
    yellowmango, Nov 3, 2015
    #62
    sindmani, Umanga, vaidehi71 and 2 others like this.
  3. Nov 4, 2015 #63
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    The wife is saying she is more attracted (and calls it 'sick, yes i know') knowing that he is goin behind another woman. Either this is fiction, or if its real scenario, and not a fiction, then some psychiatrist appointment needed. (Not joking)
     
    Ragini25, Nov 4, 2015
    Ragini25, Nov 4, 2015
    #63
  4. Nov 4, 2015 #64
    bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    Actually, I did feel very stupid after posting yesterday. I understood I would be perceived as someone having lost her mind. The thing is, I am torn between whether he is doing it or he is just playing around. Whatever it is, if he is really doing it, I can never forgive him, I think that would make him a total ****head. The only thing that is moving me to the other end of the spectrum is, if he is angry with me for doubting him - that makes me feel bad and want him back. I am torn between angry, wanting revenge and repentant. I just wish whatever it is, he gets to learn his lessons and gain some maturity and sense of responsibility. I also agree that I have to make him realize that. Thanks guys for all your feedback.
     
    bruised234, Nov 4, 2015
    bruised234, Nov 4, 2015
    #64
  5. Nov 4, 2015 #65
    Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My completely unscientific assessment based on your posts is that he's having an affair. Whether it is sexual or not, I can't say, but he is definitely up to something. Maybe he is just getting attention from this woman, and he's going through the initial excitement phase, which he realizes is inappropriate for a married man, and he covers up his guilt by being aggressive towards you.

    In any case he's a goddamned loser and you should take him to the cleaners and then kick him to the curb. When he pays child support for two kids in California, Mr lover boy will come back to mother earth. Let's see how much his lady on the side will enjoy being with him then. A man who physically abuses you, cheats on you, with no concern for his little children and their suffering because of his inability to keep his pants zipped up, is NOT WORTH crying over! You deserve better than him.
     
    Gauri03, Nov 4, 2015
    Gauri03, Nov 4, 2015
    #65
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  6. Nov 4, 2015 #66
    vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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    From your posts I think he is angry because of you questioning him. Any honest person though upset will make sure that he changes the way he is doing things because he does not want to make his wife unhappy. Moreover if he loves you he might show anger initially and later try to pacify the wife.

    Nothing like that happening with you. If what you had written is true then he definitely has some EMA. I have already stated my opinion on your situation. Nothing more to add.
     
    vaidehi71, Nov 4, 2015
    vaidehi71, Nov 4, 2015
    #66
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  7. Nov 4, 2015 #67
    bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    bruised234, Nov 4, 2015
    bruised234, Nov 4, 2015
    #67
  8. Nov 4, 2015 #68
    bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    Yesterday, I thought he was being straightforward for some reason and then I realized mam is out of town after seeing her fb profile. And it also seems like he got some flak from her, so again an indifferent treatment in the night and morning. We had gone to a program on Sunday night and he did not post our photos on fb. I had tried to spy on his phone that night because of a suspicion - which obviously resulted in nothing, because it took me time to realize and in the meantime again he covered his tracks. Everytime I want to think positive about him, he does something to reaffirm that something is not quite right. I am getting so fed up of this, I really want to show him the door, rather anything that will make him stop this nonsense once for all. I don't think confronting with evidence will really clear this devil's head, unless it's really hard hitting. I think it's me who is at fault for having given him so much courage to think that he can get away with anything.
     
    bruised234, Nov 4, 2015
    bruised234, Nov 4, 2015
    #68
    Umanga likes this.
  9. Nov 4, 2015 #69
    dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    @bruised234...7 pages long, and your latest post is not very different from your first one. Checking phones, suspecting, stalking the other woman on FB and not finding anything, and definitely not doing anything.

    Even a single sentence from a single poster in these pages didn't reach you?
     
    dimhere, Nov 4, 2015
    dimhere, Nov 4, 2015
    #69
    madras2018 and Lathasv like this.
  10. Nov 4, 2015 #70
    bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    dimhere, can you do me a favor? How do I delete some of the posts or even this thread? I am not stalking that woman or him, I am certainly not doing that. To be frank, I don't intend to care about him either anymore. I get depressed when I even see her face, so no I am certainly not stalking her on FB.
     
    bruised234, Nov 4, 2015
    bruised234, Nov 4, 2015
    #70
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