Being Trolled And Bullied And Personally Attacked On Social Networking

anika987 · Aug 28, 2021

WannabValerie said: ↑

I agree @anika987

When one beleives and knows from their bottom of their heart that whatever they are doing is the best for their babies/ kids because they cabt take them ( like roar said) then there is no need to validate again.

In 1900s-1960s it was industrial revolution and wars and women needed to be at home for men to work for 12-15hrs... so they glorified home staying because someone needed to bring up those kids when one oartner is serving in war; now its capitalism and income generation and investments are agenda so all 'research' glorifies working women because larger work force is needed and a womens brain thinks different and can contribute fresh resources to work force.
Oh and the monetory value attached to motherhood has made its way too.

It seems to be changing in cycles. This cant be the truth because it stays intact over forever? only our mindset is changing in cycles.

Yes BM is the best food for babies else nature would magically present few free bottles of milk with the baby. It is true.
However, every baby has a right to nutrition BM or the other way and their mum knows the best.

This agruement of sahm vs workingwomen is making fool of womenhood. No one can bring you down without your permission and no one can lift you up without your support.

It all comes to Hs again ... if at all we had given respect to mothering kids and given her respect for taking care of the home and not called her 'moocher' and martyred her to inlaws.... and she beleived in herself...there would be less of these validation requests.

This working women trend was brought out by the patriarchy, now that women have tasted how it feels to be incharge; they aint going back to sacrificial nurturing mode.

Although kids need nuturing and its the right thing to do, the person who nurtures is seen useless and weakling by the society and no women wants that.

Children and the generation will grow up to be different for better or for worse. If society needs people who care for free back, then show resoect and give them their value... else dont whine.
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Well said!

nuss · Aug 28, 2021

Laks09 said: ↑

So much truth.
The minute you get pregnant, your body and your choices become everyone else’s business.
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I wish I could like these replies from @Rihana @MalStrom and @Laks09 more than once!

I was on the opposite end of the problem. My body made too much milk and if I pumped I made more. It was so hard- constant heaviness of breasts, soar breasts that would lead to fever if not emptied. A lot of my friends/family thought I was lucky that I could fill 6 bottles in 15-20 minutes. I was not! I stopped pumping and just expressed by hand as needed. I was fortunate that we had a babysitter who lived on campus and either she would bring my son (10 weeks old onwards) to my lab for feeding or I will go to her place and feed because my son refused to take bottle.
With my daughter I stayed home for 8 months and fed her exclusively. It worked out because I was changing jobs and had negotiated late start. I have seen my sister struggling to breastfeed and moving on to formula for her sanity.
Staying home/ not staying home/ breastfeeding/ expressed milk feeding/formula- all that is unnecessary competition.
Live and let live! Parenting is already hard, let parents do whatever works for them.

shravs3 · Sep 1, 2021

Laks09 said: ↑

The minute you get pregnant, your body and your choices become everyone else’s business.
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So true!

Rihana · Sep 1, 2021

anika987 said: ↑

Sometimes in life, instead on why things happened and feeling bad about it..it’s better to take it as lessons, learn from it and move on.It will help heal better.Who is right or wrong is not the issue..each one is right from their perception and arguing is futile.Either we hit back hard and take back the hits,else be diplomatic and protect ourselves. was a hard hitting lesson I learnt which was past due.

financial independence is one thing but there are some women who work outside and still are at the mercy of their husbands and in-laws.Many do not even get a hold of their salary.They have internal problems which they cannot even vent out.At the same time,there are homemakers who are respected in their households and have full financial freedom over the monetary which is brought to the house.Their contribution is different.

Everyone’s situation,environment,Guts and mental strength of how they handle the problems is different.It is all about attitude.

I have to agree with @Laks09 with what she said.The friend has more than her Sahm dilemma.Her issues are different.Again,it is not like if one earns money..they should or can walk out of the marriage.Working is not for that.

True..when one earns money or had the education to find a job it does help.It is not that struggle ends when one is working.It comes in different forms.

At the same time..There are homemakers who walk out of a wedding,start their careers though small or big ,content with what they earn and live.Yes,people do and can find jobs when it is an absolute necessity and make ends meet tough or easy.The strength definitely comes.If you have,to you will.Many women lose their husbands unfortunately with no income but when “necessity “ arises they work it accordingly and manage.Some have family wealth for back up which is a different case.People manage and it is not like they will be stranded on streets or get into vices like movies shows.That idea and mental conditioning itself is wrong.

Also,The idea that women who work outside has life better is wrong.It is tough and even if your friend walks out of the marriage and is working,struggle won’t end.It will be the start to different kind of struggle!Especilaly being in our country,it is difficult being a single women.

Even I used to feel bad initially as though working woman has it better but no,I know many who do not have good health and who have stress and honestly my heart goes out to them.My best friend is in a high profile job but her struggles are hard.Outside,she may look successful for the society but she has her own problems and zero help.Many do it for financial troubles and varied reasons.They also want to be understood.So maybe your friend’s comment might have hit the wrong nerve and they just vented their frustration on her.

Unfortunately,anonymity is a social media benefit.Half the trolls won’t have the guts to speak what they wrote in real life.So,ask your friend not to take it personally.Trolling is a way to vent out people’s frustrations.If people cannot digest it,then one should refrain comments in social media.

They don’t know your friend and probably those women might be good people in real life.Everyone has their moments..so it’s best not to take it personal.Everyone’s mindset and how they understand things are different.

At the same time,are they right in saying mean things to your friend.Absolutely not but at this situation,it is best to empathize.We do not know when what ticks and my heart goes out to your friend and her personal struggles which many won’t know.She might have meant good in her perspective but honestly with so much stress going on in everyone’s lives,advice is the last thing people want unfortunately.I hope things work out for her better and hope she comes out of her personal struggles.

Tell your friend,those women who trolled her do not represent the entire women community.There are many who are mature and diplomatic.It was just not her day.Sometimes we are the statue and other times we are the bird.

No one is right or wrong here but we cannot change the world or how others will react.Let’s just learn a lesson from this and move on.
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Anika, you have a way with words, a way with thoughts and a way of saying things, it is something that is natural and comes out of life experience and inner beauty.

A skill worth bottling if it could be distilled.

anika987 · Sep 1, 2021

Rihana said: ↑

Anika, you have a way with words, a way with thoughts and a way of saying things, it is something that is natural and comes out of life experience and inner beauty.

A skill worth bottling if it could be distilled.
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that means a lot to me Rihana thank you

Needtobestrong · Sep 2, 2021

Rihana said: ↑

Anika, you have a way with words, a way with thoughts and a way of saying things, it is something that is natural and comes out of life experience and inner beauty.

A skill worth bottling if it could be distilled.
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Yes, and that’s why she is the finest post winner ...well done Anika.