Being submissive to DH - how good is it in a marriage ?

ah mithy, appo brain irukka? ithellam maathitaangla ippo?
chumma kalaaikirren, kandukaatheenga.

Anyway, back to the OP: Both DH and DW need to make some adjustments with each other, otherwise there will be too much trouble in marriages. But, it is always better not to pretend. Unless you can pretend all the time in your life. Can one pretend all the time?

 

LOL.... spidey... dont forget you are in venus world here

Being submissive is bad - whether you are single or in a relationship. submissive character is not right. Every human has a right to voice their opinions when needed.

It's not healthy to be submissive when you have conflicting thoughts in a relationship. You can have a mature discussion and make sure your points are taken in the right way. Ofcourse it requires a lot of work to build that foundation but I guess its worth the pain in the long run.

 

LOL! I have to rely that the kind Venus people will be accomodating to the eccentric Mars people

Good point. The foundation is very important too. The thing is: In some marriages, it can take a couple of years for that foundation to be laid. I have personally experienced arguments before the foundation was laid which has led to unbelievably shaky foundation. You make a very good statement about the foundation. I agree with that.

 

Gooseberry,
Sorry I had not translated it. It was just a joke. It doesn't come out as a joke if I write it in English, and hence I had to write it in a regional language. (Mithy said if women did not have brains, then it will be easier - I responded saying "Oh, have things changed now"? See, the joke is lost when I state it in English :hide

 

Very well said Pooja...
I think submissive and supportive go hand in hand, its not derogatory.
Being submissive/supportive need not mean that the person is a slave. Its a strategy in relationship used by clever people to achieve their goals.

 

Thanks Tugga and Rosegirl for understanding my pov.

I think women are forced to *pretend* to be submissive/put on an act etc etc because their husbands are not mature enough to deal with a *thinking* wife, who if having a different viewpoint, is generally criticized, tormented, put down etc etc.

If the husband is mature enough to treat the wife as his equal and understand that a difference of opinion does not mean she is not a good wife, then there will be no need for a wife to *pretend* to be submissive. As they say in hindi, taali ek haath se nahi bajti (it takes 2 to tango!).